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Whats The Deal With This Guy?

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Hi there.
Welcome to another edition of "Whats The Deal With This Guy?". This week is a guy who just started chatting with me for no particular reason. I don't know who he is or what he wanted. This is where you come in. I'm interested in hearing what kind of resources people think that this guy was exporting and to where.
Here is the full transcript of my conversation with this looney.

(Heck, he even left his phone number....)

Lets Begin...

Mike (12/29/2005 10:22:49 PM): hello
Mike (12/29/2005 10:22:52 PM): ok thankyou
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:23:56 PM): do u wanna chart with me?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:24:02 PM): sure
Mike (12/29/2005 10:24:18 PM): asl?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:24:23 PM): thx
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:24:34 PM): 25m/nigeria
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:24:38 PM): u?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:24:45 PM): 27/m/australia
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:24:58 PM): kool
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:25:16 PM): what do u do 4 a living?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:25:43 PM): I'm a web designer
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:25:51 PM): i'm a business guy
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:25:57 PM): real
Mike (12/29/2005 10:26:12 PM): so am I
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:26:42 PM): what's ur name?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:27:06 PM): Mike
Mike (12/29/2005 10:27:11 PM): its my name
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:27:41 PM): so cool
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:27:53 PM): i'm jonathan
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:28:13 PM): do u know any thing about business?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:28:13 PM): great
Mike (12/29/2005 10:28:23 PM): well I run a web design business
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:29:02 PM): i mean to tranct a buz
Mike (12/29/2005 10:29:34 PM): you mean payments?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:29:51 PM): sure
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:30:23 PM): u there?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:30:47 PM): are you talking about online?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:31:26 PM): exactly
Mike (12/29/2005 10:31:32 PM): ok
Mike (12/29/2005 10:31:36 PM):
Mike (12/29/2005 10:31:42 PM): this is what you are looking for
Mike (12/29/2005 10:31:49 PM): what do you need it for?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:32:00 PM): so what do u think?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:32:06 PM): its good
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:32:48 PM): why asking?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:33:54 PM): you talked about business.... thats what I do...
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:34:10 PM): ok
Mike (12/29/2005 10:34:26 PM): well bye
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:34:45 PM): why so?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:34:56 PM): any rhone no.?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:35:04 PM): what?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:35:34 PM): i mean phone number?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:35:40 PM): my phone number??
Mike (12/29/2005 10:35:45 PM): I don't think so
Mike (12/29/2005 10:35:52 PM): Im not giving it out online
Mike (12/29/2005 10:35:58 PM): I don't even know you
Mike (12/29/2005 10:36:10 PM): only an idiot would do that
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:36:28 PM): why say so?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:36:58 PM): just to conmmunicate
Mike (12/29/2005 10:37:43 PM): no I don't think so
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:37:49 PM): hello u there?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:37:51 PM): I don't know one thing about you...
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:38:09 PM): good
Mike (12/29/2005 10:38:18 PM): I asked about your business, I asked what you do and you don't tell me...
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:38:38 PM): very soon u will know more about me
Mike (12/29/2005 10:39:07 PM): I don't think so
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:39:32 PM): iwhy so warried?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:40:03 PM): I'm not worried
Mike (12/29/2005 10:40:06 PM): asl?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:40:15 PM): what do you do?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:40:21 PM): i said i do export goods from one country to another?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:40:37 PM): a business management?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:41:29 PM): you export goods? What goods?
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:41:54 PM): good
Mike (12/29/2005 10:41:56 PM): theres alot of things that are exported
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:42:33 PM): i mean mineral resoucess
Mike (12/29/2005 10:43:39 PM): drugs??
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:44:02 PM): no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Mike (12/29/2005 10:44:11 PM): ok
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:44:16 PM): God reject
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:44:54 PM): hi
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:45:02 PM): pls call
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:45:18 PM): +2348056557854
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:45:22 PM): joe
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:45:27 PM): bye
Mike (12/29/2005 10:45:56 PM): no I don't think so
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:47:19 PM): ok
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:47:31 PM): i have to go now
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:47:48 PM): what do u think abut it
Mike (12/29/2005 10:48:36 PM): about what???
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:48:58 PM): the deal
Mike (12/29/2005 10:49:01 PM): what deal?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:49:10 PM): you didn't invite me for any deal
Mike (12/29/2005 10:49:20 PM): you just told me what you do and to ring you
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:49:25 PM): so u are an america
Mike (12/29/2005 10:49:30 PM): yes
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:50:09 PM): interesting
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:51:05 PM): ok
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:51:13 PM): some other time
Mike (12/29/2005 10:51:40 PM): but I could be lying
joe4real2g2003 (12/29/2005 10:51:53 PM): why?
Mike (12/29/2005 10:52:00 PM): you are mysterious
Mike (12/29/2005 10:52:34 PM): bye

Leave your comment

Our Christmas Was The Best Christmas Ever!!!!!

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We sat around the piano singing Christmas carols and we had our very own rent a crowd.

Here is our family photo. Me and my family... I'm not in this photo because I was holding the camera. I don't know who the other people are. They are suppose to be my relatives but I can't see the resemblance. Infact I don't remember even taking this photo. It might have something to do with the fact that I had too much Egg Nog.

Here is our house decorated. I done it all myself. Pretty cool huh? Each peace was ordered off Ebay and just incase anyone thought about stealing my giant bear, I had all my pieces fitted with its own personal alarm and GPS satellite tracking device so if anyone decided to steal something it could be tracked from the sky.

Bored. Basically the worst Christmas ever... What do you think??

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This past week has been boring... For Christmas I didn't go anywhere. Apart from having a Kath & Kim marathon watching some of my favourite episodes because it was one of my Christmas presents... ALL 3 Seasons including Da Kath & Kim Code - the movie.

I was going to put some photos of my Christmas here, but considering that it was boring there was nothing really worth taking. Then I thought "Well every man and his dog is gonna put photos of their Christmas lunch at their Aunt Gertrude's that they haven't seen for 20 years". So I thought If I can at least find some Typical Christmas dinner photos I'll put those... You know the ones where everyone is sitting around the fire in their crappy Christmas top with the flashing Christmas tree on them, drinking Egg nog and singing Christmas carols, sounding joyful and triumphant to an out of tune piano. I have never met any family yet that is to experience that type of Christmas. Its too much like one of those Brady Bunch Christmas specials that they repeat at lunchtime every Christmas. The real Christmas I know is the one where you think you are getting a cool Christmas gift but you end up getting stupid socks or hankies from Grandma with an embroidered 'M' on them.

Merry Late Christmas

Napoleon Dynamite Rocks

I saw Napoleon Dynamite on Friday and all I can say is that its Flippin' Sweet. If you haven't seen it then turn off this computer and go and get it. If you can't afford to get it, then steal it or borrow it from a friend and don't return it.

Do you think anyone wants a round house kick to the face when Im wearing these bad boys??

"At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?"

G'day From Australia

Its Me!
G'day From Australia!

Mike's Shop is now online

Hey guys,
I have just opened up an online shop. Visit STUFF WORLD and buy some stuff

Be the first to get your hands on some great stuff

Thanks Dr Phil

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - A man wanted on a bigamy charge was arrested after a woman watching an episode of the "Dr. Phil" show about the case saw his picture — and recognized her sister's boyfriend.

Hicks, 61, was arrested later Monday at the Charlotte home of Hembree's sister, said Julia Rush, a spokeswoman for the Mecklenburg County Sheriff's Office.

Hicks had been indicted on a bigamy charge last week in Chesapeake, Va., said Officer Christina Golden of the Chesapeake police.

At a hearing Tuesday in Charlotte, Hicks said he would fight extradition to Virginia. Bail was set at $25,000.

Hembree, 57, of Shelby, said Hicks and her 54-year-old sister, Barbara Grant, met through a Web site and had been dating for about eight months. She said the subject of marriage had come up.

"They had talked about it, and I told her to just kind of wait and just make sure because marriage is such a big step," Hembree said.

Hembree said Grant, whose first husband died more than 20 years ago and is divorced from her second husband, did not want to talk to reporters yet.

Hembree said she and her sister are devastated.

"When he came to my home, he was just as nice as he could be, well-educated, well-mannered," Hembree said. "We sat and talked numerous times together. We thought a lot alike. And I respected him a lot, I really did. This is what is so very painful for me."

Dear Santa

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Santa, would it be possible to dig deep into your sack and provide the Socceroos with all the luck they'll need to match it with the world's best in Germany next year? Just reaching the World Cup has been a huge achievement. A couple of wins would be great and give the code an added kick along in Australia.

On the AFL front, what are the chances of a Richmond Premiership? 2006 will be crucial for the Tigers in general and coach Terry Wallace in particular. Also would it be too much to have Nathan Brown back for Round 1 and even Brownlow Medal, even for any Richmond Player? Ok if this can't happen, at least it would be great to see them get to the finals.

At the risk of being greedy, a swag of gold medals to Australia is what I really want at the Commonwealth Games. While the gold should flow freely in the swimming, they might be a little harder to win on the track. Distance star Craig Mottram is our best hope, as is hurdler Jana Pittman, assuming she's fit. Surely the fact that the games are in Melbourne will give our athletes that little bit extra they need to get over the line.

I know its a big ask, but I would really love to see Ford get another V8 Supercar Championship this year and for the rest of the Ford drivers to step up instead of leaving the racing up to Russell Ingall and Craig Lowndes to bring home the wins for Ford.

And finally, could we please try to get through the summer without endless shots of new mum Bec sitting with the Hewitt clan courtside? Even more pleasing would be if we can not have mum and dad doing their best ASIO impersonation, trying to shield baby Mia from prying lenses. We've all seen daddy Hewitt's dummy spits. They're not pretty.

That's it Santa. I know I might be asking a bit but I reckon you're up to it.

Best wishes to Mrs Claus,
Mike Elliott

Who Do You Say I Am?

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I was talking to a guy on the net recently, I decided to have a bit of fun. Just so you know, this photo of Steve Urkel I used in my IM window

That Guy: nice photo
Mike: thanks
Mike: what do you do
Mike: hello?
That Guy: wanna be ur fren
Mike: ok
Mike: what do you do?
That Guy: studying
Mike: ok
That Guy: u
Mike: I used to be an actor, this is my publicity photo
That Guy: new u look fami
Mike: yep thats me
That Guy: wat do u act
Mike: theatre
That Guy: cool

9 Ideas For The Worlds Strongest Man Event

Here are my ideas for the worlds strongest man comp.

  1. Carrying a grand piano down 15 flights of stairs by themselves
  2. Wrestle an elephant to the ground with your bare hands
  3. Pull a concrete truck by themselves
  4. Do what spiderman done and become part of a rail and let a train drive over you.
  5. Fight with your identical twin brother who weighs the same and looks the same as you (AKA Bizaro Superman)
  6. Pick up a frozen lake iceblock and throw it onto a fire (AKA Superman)
  7. Smash 200 coconuts with your head.
  8. Demolish a 2 story house with your hands
  9. Give 10 500 pound people a piggy back ride at the same time

The AFL has been cancelled

Prior Notice .......
It is likely that the AFL competition for 2006 will have to be cancelled.
Under the new Anti Terrorism Laws the Bombers are banned.

The new Industrial Relations legislation rules out the Dockers.
The Asian Bird flu epidemic is wreaking havoc with the Crows, Eagles, Hawks, Magpies and Swans.
Any transfers to the Kangaroos, Cats, Lions, Dogs and Tigers must now be quarantined for at least 12 months.
Religious vilification laws mean that no one can legally barrack for the Demons or the Saints.
This only leaves the Power and the Blues who no one wants to barrack for anyway.

My Movie

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I've made a movie called "The Funky Squad" Check it out now at


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1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

The dictionary meaning of the word "fornication" means any unlawful sexual intercourse including adultery. In the Bible the Greek definition of the word "fornication" means to commit illicit sexual intercourse. What constitutes unlawful sex? Whose laws do we live by? Worldly standards or laws many times do not always line up with the Word of God. The founding fathers of the United States established many laws that were originally based on Christian standards and the laws of the Bible. However, through time the United States has drifted far from these standards and at the present our moral standards are shocking the world. However, immorality is not only found in the U.S. but is a world-wide epidemic. Societies throughout history and around the globe have embraced sexual standards that are called sins in the Bible.

Fornication is not just tolerated in our society but is actually being encouraged. The sin of fornication is being committed even among Christians, as many couples "live together" and have sex before marriage. The Bible tells us to flee this sin. We have counseled Christians of the opposite sex who share an apartment and they told us they were not having sex so this surely wasn't wrong. The Bible declares these words in 1 Thessalonians 5:22-23:
"Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Our lives as Christians are a living witness to others and we cannot break the laws of God without hindering others from coming to Christ. We must live our lives in purity before a sinful and wicked world. We should not be living according to their standards but according to God's standard in the Bible. No couple should live together outside the bonds of marriage.

Many say they live together before marriage to see if they are compatible as they don't want to divorce. This may sound like a justifiable reason for committing the sin of fornication, but in God's eyes it is still sin. Statistics however, show that those who live together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce than those who do not. Living together shows a total lack of trust in God and a failure to commit to Him the choosing of a mate. Christians who are living in this situation are out of the will of God and need to repent and seek God as to whether this person is the right one for them. If it is God's will for them to be together they should marry. Otherwise, they need to change their living arrangements.

As Christians, the goal of any relationship should be to cause the people in our lives to love and know the Lord better. Living together is shameful and selfish as the parties do not care what others think or how they might affect their families and others. They are living to please their own lust and selfish desires. This type of life style is destructive and especially so for children whose parents are living a bad example before them. No wonder our children are confused about right and wrong when parents degrade the sanctity of marriage by living together out of wedlock. How can living together cause children to love and honor God when their parents break the laws of God before them because they are lustful?

Young people today need to be taught to abstain from sexual intercourse and remain pure virgins before marriage. So many problems in marriages today stem from the fact that they are not virgins when they marry. Young people are bringing wounded emotions and diseased bodies into their marriages because of prior promiscuous affairs. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) are so widespread that the statistics are shocking. There are 12 million new cases of STDs annually in the United states and 67% of these occur among persons under the age of 25. In fact, every year one out of six teens contracts an STD. 100,000 to 150,000 women become infertile each year as a result of STDs.¹ Others endure years of pain as some of these diseases are incurable. What a tragic price to pay for sexual sins. The Bible is right when it says fornication is a sin against one's own body.

The sin of fornication is not only defined as illicit sexual intercourse between those who are not married but also is an umbrella for other sexual sins as well. The Bible also speaks of the sin of incest as fornication in 1 Corinthians 5:1:

"It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife."

The Bible also lists whoremongers as fornicators in Revelation 21:8:
But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

All prostitutes and pimps are fornicators. Couples who just "live together" according to the Bible, are committing the same sin that whores commit. Singles who "make love" fall into the same category. Just because society has accepted this type of living does not make it right. The Bible must be our standard of what is right and wrong. We must change our standards if we do not want the wrath of God to fall on us. God hates sin but He loves the sinner. If anyone repents and calls on Jesus today He will help them to come out of any illicit relationship and heal them of all past hurts and even heal any disease that they may have contracted.

God gave us the laws in the Bible for our good. They are not meant to deny us any good thing but they are given so we can enjoy the proper sexual relationship in the proper time. If we obey the words of the Bible and "flee fornication" and glorify God in our bodies, the Lord will bless us beyond what we could believe.

Psalm 145:17-21: "The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever."

¹ Statistics from the April 1, 1993 issue of the San Francisco Chronicle.

Ingall: No longer the V8 Supercar Championship Series bridesmaid

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It was a double celebration for Stone Brothers Racing with defending champion Marcos Ambrose winning the final round of the V8 Supercar Championship at his swansong and his team-mate Russell Ingall grabbing his first Series title at Phillip Island today.

Ambrose won both races today in a dominant display for his Ford team, finishing ahead of the HSV Holden pair of Garth Tander and Rick Kelly at the event, who enjoyed their second straight podium finish.But all the glory was for the 41-year-old Ingall, who finally achieved the breakthrough to win his first championship after nine years in the series.

He finished fifth overall for the final round to claim the championship on 1922 points, 57 points clear of Craig Lowndes with a further nine points to Ambrose, to complete a Ford trifecta in the series.

“I’m waiting for it to sink in. I’m very happy for the team and glad I can give one to them,” Ingall said.“I’ve tried every which way to win this Championship and this was the last resort. You don’t win by just one thing. You have to be quick, you have to be smart, you have to know when to go and when not. Being good at one thing won’t win this championship.”Ingall said he would have enjoyed racing more aggressively this season but with the current points system, consistency was the key to overall triumph.

“I had to change my strategy with this point system. After 10 years I will take what ever I can get,’’ he said in terms of his victory.He paid tribute to his crew, Stone Brothers Racing and his team-mate Ambrose, who was lavish in his praise for Ingall.

It was also an emotional time for Ambrose, the two-time champion, in his final race before heading to the United States to further his racing career.“This is an era in my life that I won’t forget. I would have never have dreamed that I would win two championships. I am a lucky, lucky guy. I owe a lot to Ford, my crew and Stone Brothers Racing.”

After a close early battle, Ambrose jumped both Lowndes and Tander in the pits to win the second race ahead of Rick Kelly and Ingall. While light rain fell at the start, the weather cleared to produce superb conditions.Lowndes was the only driver with a faint chance of beating Ingall, needing 19 places between him and his Ford compatriot in the final race. Ingall gave some early flutters when he was forced on to the grass attempting to pass Steven Ellery on the main straight on the second lap.

He re-gathered and from that point was always near the front of the field. The pressure went on Lowndes, who was controversially given a stop-go penalty for a pit lane infringement by his crew. The Betta Electrical Ford driver had to force his way from the back of the field for 15th place to ensure he finished runner-up in the championship.

It proved total domination for the Blue Oval team who took out the Manufacturers Award with their seventh win of the series while Stone Brothers Racing emphatically won the Teams Points honours.

It was also a successful return to Phillip Island for the V8 Supercar series, with an official three-day attendance of 66,363, the largest ever at the circuit for any form of car racing.Leading placings,

round 13 Phillip Island:
1. Marcos Ambrose Stone Brothers Racing Ford 188 points
2. Garth Tander HSV Dealer Holden 182
3. Rick Kelly HSV Dealer Holden 176
4. Greg Murphy Super Cheap Auto Holden 168
5. Russell Ingall Caltex Racing Ford 168
6. Craig Lowndes Betta Electrical Ford 160
7. Steve Ellery Betta Electrical Ford 150
8. Paul Weel Super Cheap Auto Holden 142
9. Paul Radisich Team Kiwi Racing Holden 140
10. Mark Skaife Holden Racing Team 132

Top 10 Championship Placings:
Russell Ingall 1922, Craig Lowndes 1865, Marcos Ambrose 1856, Todd Kelly 1760, Mark Skaife 1754, Garth Tander 1734, Steven Richards 1669, Rick Kelly 1630, Jason Bright 1566, Cameron McConville 1501.

The 1st "I Gave My Brain To Goodwill" Award goes to.... (Part 2)

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Well I got a response,
Here is the email I recieved


You seem to want to miss the point.If you travel, you are not at your local church. If you are posted in the army, you are not at a local church. You may still want to be taught.I'll throw out some scripture on your other questions, but I suggest you visit our main site if you have real questions. will not argue with you, read your Bible and pray.

O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. - Psalm 34:8
Then one of them, a lawyer, asked tempting him and saying "Master which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus said unto him "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself, On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." Matthew 22:35-40 ( KJV), see also Luke 10: 25-37
Thou wilt show me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. - Psalms 16: 11"For I spake not unto your fathers, nor commanded them in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, concerning burnt offerings or sacrifices; but this thing I commanded them saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you." - Jer 7: 22,23

Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. - Romans 5: 1,2

But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil. - II Thessalonians 3: 3 (KJV)

And finally since you seem centered on sin, yes repentance is required; Love is required; balance is required.
And of some have compassion, making a difference:
And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire;
hating even the garment spotted by the flesh. - Jude 23

You spoke of the Holy Spirit, I would suggest a great deal of prayer and searching of the scripture before you respond.

If you look over the either site you will find a great deal about sin, just not every message. You judge me and our ministry off an introduction and one post. Try not to be so hasty, it is better to say nothing than say something hurtful and in error."Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye." Luke 6:42There are many sinners to reach. God is not limited to our frail understandings. Avoid the quick proud pronouncements. Pray! Then pray some more. To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. I Corinthians 9: 21, 22

May God direct us both.


The 1st "I Gave My Brain To Goodwill" Award goes to....

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I came across this blog at aparently they got some online church happening. Now I was curious to see how this can work out. All looked great, until I found a couple of things that burdened me. I felt it necessary to reply to one of the comments and email the head honcho.

Here is my letter

just came across your blog... interesting concept.. When you say about people joining here because they do not have a regular place of worship. I've never met anyone who has never had a regular place of worship.... look around you, churches everywhere!! How many churches do we need?? People can't find a place of worship simply because they are offended with what the minister has said. Sometimes for a good reason because they don't hold fast to the truths of God, sometimes its because they have unconfessed sin in their life so everything they hear will be an offense. Even people reading this are gonna be offended at my comments. Offenses are everywhere, running away and joining another church isn't the answer.

If this is a church, how can the shephard do his job? its really impossible to... I'm being realistic here! The concept of the virtual church is interesting, but I can't see how it will really work... If this is really God, then it will be a GOD idea, not a GOOD idea.

Where is the covering from the church?

One final thing that is worrying, its the basic doctrine of salvation. At the top of the blog it says ACCEPT THE LOVE OF JESUS, this maybe valid, but it really distorts the reason why we need saving to start off with... We don't get saved because we need love. We get saved because we realise we've broken Gods commandments.... this helps us realise what we've done wrong AKA We've commited adultery, stolen something, and murdered.... Once we realise what we've done, we ask God to forgive us, repent and turn away from those things and embrace Gods love and grace.... You're missing the repentance part!!!

If you don't mention that because you're too scared you're gonna offend someone, then you're ripping people off and cheating them and they will backslide because their reason for getting saved: Love, is the wrong reason, all because when something goes wrong, people think that God is angry with them and doesn't love them..... Can you see where I'm coming from????

If you water down the conviction of the word and become seeker friendly, you're online ministry thingy won't last.....

Well thats it for me, if you wanna discuss this with me, my details are on my weblog....Bless you all

Now, if that isn't bad enough, I checked the School of Theology page on the blog.... Yep, its an online Bible College... I was curious to see what subjects they are teaching... check these out

[ T201 ] Atheists & Humanists vs. Theists
[ T205 ] Billy Graham on the Holy Spirit
[ T102 ] C.S. Lewis, A1
[ T108 ] C.S. Lewis, A2
[ T104 ] Christian Fantasy
[ T204 ] elements of powerful prayer
[ T301 ] Foundation Stones: Faith
[ T306 ] Foundation Stones: Grace
[ T305 ] Foundation Stones: Healing
[ T303 ] Foundation Stones: Prayer
[ T302 ] Foundation Stones: The Blood of Jesus
[ T304 ] Foundation Stones: The Cross
[ T307 ] Foundation Stones: The Trinity
[ T106 ] looking for (secular) truth
[ T103 ] New wine
[ T203 ] Pursuit of God
[ T101 ] Sound Doctrine, A1
[ T109 ] Sound Doctrine, A2
[ T110 ] Sound Doctrine, A3
[ T401 ] Start a Blog
[ T105 ] Tough Faith
[ T107 ] Why am I here?
[ T202 ] Wigglesworth on Faith

What the heck does Blogging have to do with anything or including the worlds of C.S Lewis??? is it just me or are these guys nuts??? They haven't made it clear what the outcome is... They don't say what qualifications it will leave you with..... It would be nice to know that I'm actually going to get some qualification out of this, apart from being a cyber nerd that thinks that God has called them to be "Lord of the Blogs" - One blog to rule them all. I don't agree with any of these subjects... especially the second last one 'why am I here'... That pretty much sums up the blog. If you don't know why you've signed up for this to begin with, you're mad. And again, they in the foundation stones they left out the whole repentance thing.... the foundation for Christianity is found in Hebrews 6

I don't care if the people from this organisation are reading my blog... all I can say is that this is the biggest joke on the internet.

Australian Idol

Yah Kate Won... incase you didn't realise, I'm being sarcastic.....

Australian Idol is Crap

Well I just watched the crap called Australian Idol. Yep Kate won. She's from my town. I guess I should be happy for her. Basically I don't care who won... They could have got Steady Eddy doing a duet with Stevie Wonder for all I care. Anyway, I'd like to set the record straight: Everyone in Bendigo knows that her daddy owns a car yard and paid his employees $10k to vote for Kate - so she cheated.

You are probably reading this and saying "Mike, you're too harsh on her"... Well how much manufactured reality TV show crap do we have to put up with? Stupid wannabes being on stupid shows about..... well crap. As if you didn't realise, I overuse the word CRAP. Yes I do, and its a mighty fine word indeed. You don't like it? its not my problem. I guess some religious fruitcake would go "Well if Jesus was here, would you say it to His face?" well firstly lets see....

Picture this: (the scene is set, Jesus standing infront of me).
MIKE: Jesus, what do you think of the devil?
JESUS: He's pretty crap.

Hey I'm being real peoples. If you wanna get offended because I say crap, because its un christian then you need to get saved again. The unchristian thing to do is to lie to yourself or pretend to be hollier than thou.

Did Moses pick his nose? I guess wandering the wilderness for 40 years you'd wanna 'clear house' now and then.

Well thats my rant....
Drop it like its Hoff....

Speak Like An Aussie

Have you ever wanted to know what an Aussie is saying? Can't tell the difference between an barney and a bluey? Well I've got the perfect answer for you

Click here to visit the Aussie Glossie

Can you die from Laughing?

FINALLY, Ask Yahoo answered my question!!!
Dear Yahoo!:
Can you die from laughing?

Victoria, Australia

Dear Mike:
It's certainly possible to die while laughing -- probably by choking on something. But we were unable to find any documented evidence of someone literally "laughing to death."

In fact, recent research suggests laughing is actually very good for you. According to the Indiana University School of Medicine, laughing helps relax tense muscles, lowers blood pressure, and even burns calories. Humor and laughter is also becoming increasingly popular as a form of psychiatric therapy. Look out, Carrot Top.

Cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center found that people with heart disease are 40% less likely to laugh in a given situation than people without heart disease. The key here seems to be stress reduction; stress impairs the production of endothelial cells, which form a protective lining in our blood vessels. A weak endothelium can lead to hardened arteries and, quite literally, a hardened heart.

What exactly is laughter? As HowStuffWorks explains, laughter is a physiological response that's triggered by the limbic system, or the part of the brain that governs motivation and emotional behaviors. During laughter, the epiglottis constricts the larynx, restricting our ability to breathe. That's why a really good joke can sometimes seem pretty dangerous -- but thankfully the breathing instinct always wins in the end.

Redeeming The Time

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Ecclesiastes 3:1 says “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven”.

Time is God’s way of not letting everything happen at once. God has given everyone different seasons or different sets of time. There’s a time for being single and a time to be married. Use your single years to make an impact in the world with confidence that God hasn’t forgotten you. I hear some of my married friends say “Enjoy being single because once you are married you won’t be able to go back”. That’s what I’m aiming for. Getting every little skill, talent, and ability under my belt so I can take them into my relationship and reap what I’ve sown.

Ok, you probably think that I’m being superficial. But what I’m saying is the truth. There are only two superficial things in this world are the TV shows Brady Bunch and Full House.
I can imagine the biggest blessing for my future wife is when she realizes that I haven’t wasted my single years but say to her “See, this is what I was doing while you were away”. This is very similar to The Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30).

The other thing to remember is that God is the one who gave us our giftings and ability and is on loan. Its like renting a car. I sign the papers, they hand over the keys so I can get myself around, I am responsible to look after the car because it’s not mine. When I take it back the first thing they will do is check to see the distance I’ve traveled and any signs of scratches or damage to the car. This is what God will do, check to see our fruit and to see what we’ve done with what He’s given us. Our giftings give us vision and hope because when we realize what God has given us we get to work using them we are doing what God has called us to do. But it comes with a price.

God knows what’s best for me, He knows where I am best used. He hasn’t called everyone to stand up on stage and worship lead. He hasn’t called everyone to build stuff.

God is more interested in what you are doing with your giftings when no one is looking. It’s really the foundation or the “Supporting Act” before the show that matters. I’m a musician, singer, worship leader, youth leader, and youth band director so I know what I’m talking about. If everyone was at the front they could be seen, who would be driving kids home from youth, stacking chairs after a meeting, or cleaning up the supper. When God sees these, it’s like He’s saying “If they can serve a good cream cake in supper time, he can serve a good prophesy”.

God always uses people who are busy working and showing initiative, not waiting around for something to happen and waiting to be called as an evangelist to India. I love dropping kids home from Youth. What does it cost me? Fuel, 30 minutes traveling to the other side of town, a McDonalds super sundae, my friendship, some late nights and some other things too.

When kids aren’t pressured and you take them for McDonalds its amazing what happens. I’m sure this is what God appreciates and touches his heart more only because you are taking a genuine interest in what young people are going through, and they can pick a fake from a mile away.

These are the times kids are going to remember when I’m not there or the have left the church. Not how good I sang a song or how many times I said Praise God or the times I sang a worship song with the voice of Jar Jar Binks or Kermit the Frog.

Ok I know everyone’s not a youth leader but my point is saying is if we have a genuine passion for God it should over flow in everything we do and should equip us to go the extra mile for the one who went all the way to the cross for us.

Drop It Like Its Hoff

Here is my tribute to the great man himself: David Hasselhoff, AKA The Hoff

Don't Hassel The Hoff

Nerds R Us

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When I'm chatting on the net I'm sick of people asking me for my photo. I've decided to have a little fun. I found my nerd glasses, I put them on and *poof* instant nerd, just add glasses. Now if anyone asks me for my photo and I don't want to talk to them I'll just give them this photo. These sick demented people can add this to their stash of photos that they have collected from people in chatrooms and I'll let Yahoo know that this person is spamming me..

The worst thought I had 2 minutes ago was that there maybe, just maybe someone in this world that actually goes around looking like this - a nerdish me. If this is you, leave a comment below. And take off those glasses for goodness sake and get yourself some snazzy coloured contact lenses.

Why is it racism when you talk about the colour of someone's skin, but not with nerds. Is there such a thing as nerd racism? Who knows.
If people really knew me in the chatrooms they would know that I'm not serious at all. They will know that if they checked my profile at least because I can't make it anymore clearer than saying "I don't take chat seriously". If people are still offended because I'm not serious then they need to see Dr Phil or something because its beyond a joke. I'm sure people actually 'camp' in chatrooms. The same nerds are in there all the time. Don't you people have a life? Don't you have a wife, husband, kids, or a mother in law to go home to? If you haven't got time to talk to your spouse or kids, you haven't got time FULL STOP. Get your lazy butt off the computer and go do something, and I don't mean the TV.

While I'm at it, what the heck is wrong with people that are married for 15 years and meet someone online and leave their spouse for some moron they have never met? What is wrong with you people? You really are a nerd because you spend your time getting involved with someone when you are already involved!

I better get some work done,
Well that's my 2 cents,
have your 2 cents worth below
Your pal,

Victorious Socceroos through to World Cup

I'll be honest, I'm not a soccer fan. A good game is a fast game. I don't like the idea of sitting down and waiting for 90 mins for someone to kick a goal and I don't care if everyone is losing their voice around me. I did however get caught up in the excitement of Australia challenging Uruguay for a place in the soccer World Cup next year in Germany. When the pride of your country is at stake, I'm there to support them.
When Australia plays another country at anything, all of Australia is your best friend including your ex-boss who fired you coz you took a dump in the deep fryer as a practical joke. Don't ask me why everyone is your friend, they just are! And the next day, they hate your guts again.
In case you've been asleep and you've just woken up and you have no idea what I'm talking about then you better take a gander at this:
Australia has qualified for next year's soccer World Cup in Germany after beating Uruguay 4-2 on penalties in a heart-stopping qualifying match at Sydney's Telstra Stadium.
Australia was ahead 1-0 after the end of regulation time thanks to a Marco Bresciano goal in the first half.

But the qualifying match remained all square after Australia lost the first leg 1-0 in the Uruguayan capital of Montevideo on the weekend.The match went into two 15-minute periods of extra time but the deadlock could not be broken.

Successful penalties were taken by Harry Kewell, Lucas Neil, Tony Vidmar and Jon Aloisi.
Australian goal keeper Mark Schwarzer was the hero with two brilliant saves in the shootout.
Earlier Bresciano netted in the 34th minute after a delightful move involving Tim Cahill, Mark Viduka and Harry Kewell, who had been introduced just four minutes earlier as a substitute, to send a noisy crowd of more than 80,000 into raptures.

I'm Not A Photographer, But I Have A Camera

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These are some photos I took for one of our youth activities. In the Photo Hunt, they had to identify the place in the photo which shows them where to get the next photo from. Just thought I'd share them for no particular reason at all.

Rent My Blog

Need traffic, then for an affordable price, rent my blog! You won't be disappointed!

Lame Observations About Dogs

Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? Coz they have no pockets!

They have a hard time. They stand up, they sit down, they can't handle the turn either way. No matter which way you turn, he's not ready. They don't know what to do. And then comes the great moment of frustration. You stop someplace and get something to eat. This kills him. You get a hamburger, this blows his mind. INSTANT FOOD WHENEVER YOU WANT IT? You know what this means to him? You ever see the look on his face? He looks over at you. HOW'D YOU GET THAT? ARE THEY GIVING IT TO EVERYBODY NOW? YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE? They can't get anything.

It Rained.... In My Car

I can't believe it!
Last night I forgot to wind the window up on my car and the worst thing is IT RAINED. I mean not just a little sprinkle - IT RAINED! I heard thunder and thought "Wow this is a cool storm" I went to the kitchen to make some breakfast half asleep and I looked out the window and saw that my car window was down. My eye caught the wet ground and I was thinking "Did it rain? The ground looks a bit wet". I looked at my car and my mind went back to the storm last night. I dropped everything and checked the damage on my car. Everything was fine except for my car seat. Nothing a towel can't fix - well, for the time being.

I'm sick as

Today I'm sick as... Today is my busiest day but I can't do jack. Last night I was up all night chucking my brains out and I lost count after the 5th time... I've never felt so sick in my whole entire life - well actually there was a time when I ate pizza before going on a ride but thats another story.

Hopefully I'll be over this soon....

How M&M's Are Made

I found an article that explains where M&M's come from and how they are made and how the 'M' gets stamped onto it

It's no great mystery that M&Ms are hugely popular. But the methods behind their crunchy candy shells are less well-known.

First, the milk-chocolate centers are formed in a machine and tumbled into a rounded shape. The various flavored M&Ms get a nut or other center with chocolate added around it. Then, the centers are coated in a process known as "panning," where they're rotated in a revolving pan while a coating made of sugar and corn syrup is added.

Finally, the delicate "m" imprinting happens. According to Mars Inc., maker of M&Ms, a specially designed machine stamps the "m" on each piece of candy. The machine is carefully calibrated so it won't crack the thin candy shells. The company calls the procedure "similar to offset printing."

The ink used for the "m" is made of food-grade ingredients. You can even get M&Ms custom printed with your own text, although the "m" will appear on the other side. In 1940, the original M&Ms didn't have any printing on them. The "m" was introduced a decade later, in honor of creator Forrest Mars Sr.. Originally, the "m" was in black ink, but it switched to white in 1954.

I Met The President

Last night I had dinner with the president of the USA. He is the coolest guy around. He showed me around the white house. The meal was amazing and I felt really blessed that I was treated like royalty. I gave president a copy of my latest book "Get smart, stupid". And he gave me a reference for a job I was applying for. It even had his signature. I figured that I could sell it on E-bay for a bucket load of money because it had the official presidential letter-head.

After dinner, we sat around watching some of his old home movies. Because George Bush found out that his son was Steve Urkel (Check out the the truth here on this link), Steve I was staying in Urkel's room in bunks. We decided to make a midnight snack of Cheese Whiz and coke.

We stayed up till 4am talking about fungus.

That was my day!

The New Blog About Nothing

Hi guys,
Hope you enjoy the new look of my blog... this is more personalised... This setup is more as a trial to see what people think, leave a message in the guestbook

They Were All Happy Days

Today my good friend Richie Cunningham and I decided to stop at a fantastic restaurant called Arnolds. It was old fashion service with an old fashion smile.

While I was in there you won't believe what happened. Immigration came and took the Asian owner called Arnold away. His Visa had expired aparently. I think Arnolds is going to shut down and me, Richie, Ralph Mouth, Potsi, and Fonzi will have to go some where else. I heard that McDonalds will be taking over Arnolds joint. I can't work out why - theres enough of them around.

That was my day

There's A New Kid On The Block

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I'm so excited. One of the managers from New Kids On The Block ran into me in the street. He dropped his suitcase and there were some photos of New Kids On The Block in them. I said "Hey, do you know New Kids On The Block?" and He replied "Yeah, I'm their manager and they're getting back together and are looking for a 6th member of the band".
He continues and tells me this story how I'm the kind of guy he was looking for. And I was invited to audition which I passed.
I am now the 6th member of the group.
I will be known as MIKEY E!
Here is some of the stuff that will be coming out soon. With the 6 of us! We will be remaking a greatest hits album as a launch. I have to grow a pony tail and change my wardrobe now. Some of the stuff I have to get is a funky hat with a hole at the top. Also they advised me to cut all my shirts that will make it fashionable.

A Bit About Me

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I thought I would show my friends and family a bit of what I do and where I grew up as a kid so that they could understand my deeper side.

When I started my business this is a photo of my first office. I provide computer training, tech support, graphic design and other IT services

Here is our graphic design department


This is the house of Elliott when I was growing up.We lived on Durey Lane. Our house is a small one. It used to be my folks house, but I'm the only one living there now.

Every morning there would be a fight over who got the bathroom first.

I certainly do like my bubble baths!

This is my dad about 20 years ago


Isn't it a swell looking car? I know it needs a bit of work but nothing that a little spit shine can't fix. I can hardly wait to drive it.

Well thats my tour. Hope you enjoyed it!

THAT Christmas Play

I was thinking about when I was about 18. We were asked to write a Christmas play. Yep it was a great play. My 2 friends and I who for the purpose of telling my story I will call "Nathan" and "John" (Because that was their real names). We started off by meeting each week at a place called Raunchy Rooster - I kid you not, its a real place!

'Raunchies', as we liked to call it was a great place. Considering we didn't have KFC or McDonald's in my town, this was the closest you could get to real chicken. That was the life, 3 friends digging into their greasy chicken, hanging out and talking. Yep, what more could you ask for. It took us 3 months to write a script.

What the end product was something that was almost a bit like Monty Python - Ok, a lot like Monty Python. Our budget was really bad, we ended up buying everything ourselves... We decided that instead of building some sets that everything would be made out of Cardboard... yep, the same stuff as boxes.... Open a box all the way and tape a few of them together and you got a wall or house. We cast ourselves as the Wise men. But we ran into a few problems about where to get some camels from. We didn't live in the Sahara so we didn't have Camels. We decided to do the only thing we could do and that was to cut them out of cardboard boxes and paint them up - So we did only to realize that the camels were too small. Not only that, but we were running out of time and it looked like we would only get 2 camels done. I came up with the idea that I would use a pair of Flip Flops (Ok we call them thongs but I know what everyone else calls them so I'll speak your language) and slap them together to make the walking sound of the other 2 camels considering we don't get coconuts here.

Yep, it went off... It was hilarious too. We weren't making fun of the Christmas story. This is just the way our minds worked. We came up with another idea in our brainstorming sessions that the Wise men should have different personalities... One serious, one funny, and one that speaks in rhyme, all the time.

We wrote a rhyme so when the Wise men went from door to door asking where Baby Jesus he could explain... Sort of like Dr Seuss stories... It went like this

that's right my man
I'm proud to say
that's why we've come this way
You see my friends, they and I
One bright eve were searching the sky
To low and behold a star appeared
My friends and I were greatly cheered
We've come to search for the king of the Jews
that's why we bring you this good news!

At the last house that the Wise men go to they were suppose to ask where Baby Jesus was and go on their way. Little did I know was that my friend Nathan changed the script on me. There was this Welsh guy that was playing the owner of that place. The conversation went like this:
"Do you know where the baby king is?"
"Why as me, I'm not a Jew, I'm an ARAB"
"I could've sworn that was a Welsh accent" We totally lost it on stage because it was the funniest thing I had heard.

Yep, that's about it. I don't even know why the heck I'm typing this, but it sticks out in my mind.

Until next time....
Stay cool

Lets Celebrate Next Week's DVD release of Starwars 3

To celebrate Starwars Episode 3 coming out on DVD next week, I thought I'd put my own tribute to Starwars.

Time for me to go and rent Spaceballs... May the 'schwartz' be with you!

Stupid IM chat Of The Week

Here is a recent conversation of some guy who was chatting to me....
(I have changed his name to protect him (Actually thats probably a stupid move considering he probably deserves it).

some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:38 PM): helloooo
some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:39 PM): how are u?????
some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:39 PM): where u been?
some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:45 PM): are u there????
Me (10/24/2005 4:21:51 PM): I'm not here all the time
some moron (10/24/2005 4:22:08 PM): yes i know...where are u???
some moron (10/24/2005 4:22:24 PM): for a long time cant hear ur news.
Me (10/24/2005 4:22:36 PM): its only been 2 days
some moron (10/24/2005 4:22:48 PM): no....u lie
Me (10/24/2005 4:22:53 PM): how long?
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:07 PM): 2 weeks maybe
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:20 PM): so tell me what u do?
Me (10/24/2005 4:23:24 PM): I only added you on my list last week
Me (10/24/2005 4:23:38 PM): I'm in computers
Me (10/24/2005 4:23:41 PM): I told you
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:47 PM): yes
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:55 PM): okey...sorryy
Me (10/24/2005 4:24:00 PM): its ok
some moron (10/24/2005 4:24:28 PM): have u g.f?
Me (10/24/2005 4:24:36 PM): yes
some moron (10/24/2005 4:24:47 PM): nice too hear.
some moron (10/24/2005 4:24:56 PM): when u want treat me???
Me (10/24/2005 4:25:08 PM): what do you mean?
some moron (10/24/2005 4:25:39 PM): u know like someone will pay for eat.
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:11 PM): know im really alittle be upset
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:27 PM): but nevermind okey
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:42 PM): see you
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:44 PM): bye
Me (10/24/2005 4:26:46 PM): bye

I don't know what this guy expects me to do. Firstly I got better things to do than sit here waiting for people to chat to me. Secondly, this guy wasn't even displayed as online but he was invisible, so even if I had added him to my list, there's no way for me to know if he was on or not. Lastly, if I knew where this guy lived, it would give me an oportunity to throw stones on his roof. You are probably asking "Why don't you just block him?" Yeah I tried, but it wasn't available to me, I think simply because he was invisible.

Anyway thats enough from me.
Get back to work!

My 201st Post

WOO HOO, What can I say? I've made 200 blog entries!! This is my 201st post.

Here's a speech I just prepared for such an occasion as this:

*Clears Throat and puts on a fake American accent*

First of all I'd like to thank the academy, my manager, my friends, my family, my dog, you all rock... I'd like to thank the Natural confectionery Company for the lollies they sell at IGA, Coles, and Safeway. I'd also like to thank Coke for just being there on the shelf when I walk past (Especially Vanilla Coke)...... I'd also like to thank the Milkbar around the corner for selling the best Chips & Gravy in Australia, Collingwood for coming second-last in the AFL premiership. My thanks also go to the dudes who make Milo, Tim Tams, and anything else that makes Australia great. Also I'd like to thank anyone else I've forgotten - You know who you are (If you have just arrived here, here's your chance to take some credit for something you didn't do). I want to thank the one I love (If you can't love the one you love, love the one you're with - Ok its a song.) And finally, most of all I'd like to thank Gud. Without Gud none of this would be possible.

Thankyou, you've been a great audience. Don't forget to tip your waiter and waitress on the way out. I'll be here till Sunday, try the veil

The Craziest Thing I've Done

I've just done the craziest thing. Part of it is curiosity, part of it is just out of boredom. I decided to go into a chatroom as a girl. Within 5 mins of being in there I had 5 guys trying to hit on me. Yes it was weird. I can't believe girls put up with this crap.

I'm convinced stupid pick up lines and trying to act like Fabio is no way into a girls heart because girls aren't stupid, they can tell a mile away. Even in Christian chatrooms of all places there were wolves in sheep clothing and people who were full of it.

Without a doubt, there would be only about 10% of the room total who are real. It makes me ashamed to be a guy sometimes when I see girls being treated like that. Some guys need a good kick up the butt. For goodness sake, get a life you maniac!

National Sarcasm Society

I'm part of the National Sarcasm Society

Save The Date

Save The Date for 3rd Feb, 2007...

Can't say what for yet but watch this space

Caption This

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Place a witty Caption in the comments below

Whats wrong with this comp?

You may be looking at this photo and wondering "So what, its a competition that Microsoft is running" yeah it is - very observant of you. Here's the problem... look right there and you'll see that they are giving away an ipod too. Who makes ipods? APPLE!!! Since when did Microsoft get on Apple computers side?

Just a competition that was sent to me that I find amusing - thats all, now go back to work!

Things That Bug Me

Here is a useless post. I don't care if anyone reads this. If I cared I would have became a freelance writer and had it published in Readers Digest or something.

here's a list of things that annoy the crap out of me:

  • Old people who try to act cool and use jargon that teenagers use just so they can fit in and try to be acceptable to them - Give it up, young people can see through it
  • People who use the word 'Like' about 10 million times in one sentence. For example: "Like, the other day, Like I saw Bobby and like I was like 'Oh my gosh'". Give it a break and stop pretending you live in Beverly Dills 90210.
  • Control freaks and people that don't know how to work in a team but try to do everything themselves because they think that they are God's gift to whatever the heck the are doing and that the thing they are involved with will fall apart without them. Hey Bozo, if you want to play Gandhi, do it in your own time!
  • People who are too cheap to pay me for a job I've done for them, instead they think that they can buy me off with food. Hey cheapskate, pay people what they are worth and stop trying to scam your way out of things
  • People who continuously over use the word 'Whatever' and combine it with a sing song voice.
  • Movies that have excessive swearing and sex scenes. For the love of Pete, get some Psychiatric help. And do us all a favour and get a room - unless you're a pervert no one wants to see that crap.
  • People who are too darn serious. Do us all a favour and cheer up ya loser. Dang, the world is going down the crapper and all you are worried about is if you're going to be embarassed or look like a moron. No one likes grumpy farts. Get a life!

When I think of more things I will add it.

What am I thinking at the moment

What's the deal with Braille on the keypad of an ATM. I went to the ATM and looked at the keypad and I wonder why on Earth anyone would put Braille on there. When was the last time you've stood in a que behind a blind person waiting for him/her to use it?

And why is it that every word has another meaning except for thesaurus? I don't get it.

I went to my fridge and done some cleaning up to make sure that there was nothing left past its expiry date. There was only one problem - I found a container of sour cream but it hadn't passed its expiration date. Does it really matter how long you keep sour cream for? I mean isn't it going to be always sour?

Ok, I've got too much time on my hands, I'm out of here...

God is real, here's proof

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This happened in my family.

My Mum went to see a specialist and got an MRI scan because the doctors believed that she could've had a tumour. Our family was freaking out, I went out for prayer that sunday I heard and just totally cried out for God to do a miracle.

She got the results back and the doctor said that he and his associate had been looking at the results for a week confused (they were late getting back to her because of this). They wanted to know if mum had any brain surgery and she told the dr's that she hadn't. The doctor asked this because all he could find was a scar on the brain and no evidence of the tumour left. God totally left the scar there to prove that the tumour was removed (yep he could of removed that too but its all good).

So you think that God is stupid, dead, and doesn't heal huh? Well this is 110% real and happened in my family. Jesus is in the healing business so put your trust and hope in Him!

Marcos Ambrose Nascar Update

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Have a look at this quick update about Marcos' progress for the United States...

"Marcos Ambrose will be part of our NASCAR mix in 2006 and beyond," said Dan Davis, Director Ford Racing Technology. "He tested extremely well and our Ford Racing NASCAR Program Manager, Ben Leslie, who oversaw the test, was very impressed with Marcos' ability behind the wheel, his understanding of the vehicle and his technical feedback.

His lap times were right on the money and Ben feels Marcos is ready to go right now. We are evaluating a number of options for Marcos in NASCAR and will only commit him to one of our tier one, top level programs."John Szymanski, Manager, Sponsor & Team Development added,

"Right now our collective focus is ensuring that Marcos completes his mission of winning his third straight V8 Supercar Championship for Ford Australia and Stone Brothers Racing."

Stay tuned for more information coming soon!

That Crash

Ok, so I'm watching the V8 Supercars and I can't believe what happened at Bathurst. Greg Murphy (A Kiwi of all people) hit Marcos Ambrose (Legend and Aussie) from behind. Ambrose hit a wall, and Murph crashed into him which caused a pile up of at least 10 cars from behind and the road up to the top of the mountain. The road was blocked the total of the damage would be close to $1.5 million. I was literally up off my seat as Ambrose and Murph got out of their cars and exchanged words.

The cool thing out of this is that my hero Russell Ingall is finally at the top of the Championship. With 3 rounds to go, I think we can expect a #1 on his door. He totally deserves it. One of my other heroes Craig Lowndes had a Wheel from the car in front hit his car and smash his windscreen. He had to drop into the pits to remove the front and back windscreens turning it into a mobile freezer. His car until this time was totally flawless and would have won the race if it wasn't for the wheel. Another thing that is stupid is that Ambrose was told that he wasn't wearing a balaclava (it protects his head In case of a fire). Why did they stop him and no one else? I have never seen my dad so fired up and he said at dinner time when that report was on TV "RIGHT WE'RE GOING TO THE FINALE" (The last round). The morons officials at the V8's need to pull their head out of their backsides and have a close look. What's good for one person is good for all.

What do you reckon?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What do you think?

X-box Live

This is the longest I've gone without a post. Some of you probably don't care, while some of you are wondering what I've been up to well I'll tell you.

I've just signed up for X-box Live. Yep and its awesome. I totally love playing V8 Supercars Online. That game is actually called TOCA 2 anywhere else except for Australia they slapped a V8 label on it. Yep its awesome... And you can voice chat to other competitors while driving at the same time. Just incase anyone is wondering what my name is on there I'm Enforca.

Well thats a short update. C-ya around!


Is it feminine for a guy to use a 'His or Hers' Hers towel or is it just me?

I'm Here Somewhere

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What's the deal with this photo that I bothered to put it here?
This photo was taken in New Zealand at Parachute Festival during Jeff Deyo's sessinon. I am somewhere in the crowd, see if you can find me. Don't scroll down until you find me.

Give up??
(Scroll down)

If you guessed right well done!
And for an extra $200 do you know where my 3 friends are?
Scroll down for the answer when you think you found them

There they are! Good to know that friends stick together!
Sorry, Cheques will not be honoured.

The V8 Road Trip

The V8 Supercars rolled into town today. I went and checked it out and I took my V8 Supercar Yearbook from 2004 (Basically it has a lot of pictures and a detail review of every race from that year). I got a photo with Jason Bargwanna. And Todd Kelly and his brother Rick Kelly were there also and they signed the page with Marcos Ambrose standing as champion (The first 2 photos).

Chick Flicks & Flick Chicks

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My sister is watching a chick flick. What is with that?

I made a comment about you know that its going to be a bad movie when all you hear is annoying girl bands in the sound track. My sister was really angry (What did I say?) and she said the stupidest thing: "If you don't stop it I'll switch it off!" What does one say or do in this situation? Basically I saw a door that was wide open and basically anything I said or done as a reply would have been perfect or would have got an thundering applause with fits of laughter.

Why is it that guys know that chick flicks are bad but will still sit through them? Guys believe that if they don't watch it then their girlfriend will automatically dump them - I'm still waiting to see if this is true or just an old wives tale.

Sport to guys is about as exciting as shopping and handbags is to girls.

Caption This

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Place a witty caption in the comments below

Dear Future Mike

I got a email today from my past self:

(this message was composed on Tue, Jul 5, 2005)

Dear FutureMe,
Hey dude, whos in this years AFL Grand Final. Please don't tell me that Collingwood is going to make it! Please tell me that Richmond are in!

Today is Tuesday.
On Saturday I'm going with the Youth to the football then Planet Shakers. I think Richmond winning in Melbourne will shake the planet enough.

(Visit to send an email to your future self)

I Think I Died, Why Am I The Last To Know?

I found the perfect way to fake my own death. Just confuse me with someone else. This is weird seeing my name here. I saw my life flash before my eyes - it was only 2 seconds.... I would actually love to go to the funeral of a Mike Elliott to actually hear what people will actually say and to hear them over use my name there.

Here's the real official press release:

St. Paul, MN, August 21, 2005 Mike Elliott, a versatile and highly accomplished guitarist revered for his work in jazz and country music, passed away at his home in St. Paul, Minnesota on September 14, 2005 at the age of 65.

Elliott had been seriously ill since suffering a heart attack in January 2005. Mike is survived by his wife Francena Elliott, who was by his side at the time of his passing, and step-children Stephanie Noel and Natalie Page of Dallas, Texas.

Born May 18, 1940 in Chicago, Mike studied guitar as a teenager in Colorado under the legendary Johnny Smith. His long career included extended periods in the Twin Cities, where he played and recorded with the influential jazz group Natural Life, and Nashville, where he was a studio musician, producer/engineer andcongruityr on hit country recordings. During his Nashville years (1982 – 1997) his many accomplishments included serving as music director for the great Nashville producer Jack Clement, contributing a song to John Anderson's triple platinum album “Seminole Wind,” working on staff for Gibson Guitars and writing instructional jazz books for the Hal Leonard publishing company.

As a jazz guitarist, renowned critic Leonard Feather considered Mike to be one of the very best. His versatility on guitar led to performances with the Toronto Symphony, road work with Victor Borge, recordings with Johnny Cash and much more. A devoted and brilliant educator, Mike presented guitar clinics with people like Les Paul and taught countless students from beginners to Bela Fleck. Although Mike had some health insurance, he had spent most of 2005 in the hospital and his family is left with staggering medical bills and other expenses.

Donations to help cover expenses can be sent to The Elliott Family, P.O. Box 211256, Eagan, MN 55121-9998. A benefit and celebration of Mike Elliott's life will be held on Sunday, October 16 at 3:00 p.m. at the Artists' Quarter, 408 St. Peter St. in downtown St. Paul..

Never Again

Usually each of us have a life time opportunity to do something that we would do in a flash. I guess yesterday was one of those days.

I promised my two nephews that I would take them to see Wallace and Gromit at the cinema. They are a 4 and 6 years old. We caught the early session. For the past 24 hours up to the time we decided to go the kids kept asking me "Are you taking me to see Grandma & Vomit?". If you didn't think that was funny enough then what the oldest asked will shock you. Please don't see this as sick or obscene, I'm only saying it in the innocence of the kids. I was asked "When we go to see Grandma & Vomit, can we get some copporn?"
"Some popcorn?"
My biggest worry was that as we were going to walk past the popcorn machine that he was going to say it like that. But that was the only time he didn't.

Before we left the kids were given a fruit bar and a little water. They had to have a "Pit Stop" (Toilet stop) so there wasn't the notorious 'I need to go to the toilet' half way through.

We got a bit of the way through the movie and they had finished their fruit bar and water and they wanted what I had. I didn't eat anything!! I still got what I took. Every 5 minutes I heard "I'm hungry, can I have some copporn? I'm Hungry!!" Then I heard the phrase that no person wants to hear: "I need to go to toiwet". Thanks a lot!!

After the movie we went to Hungry Jacks (equivalent to Burger King - just the name has changed). I headed for the cash machine. As I'm making my transaction there was a familiar question "HEY, CAN YOU DO ELMO?" I looked around and here was some guys from our school outreach. They know I do voices so I didn't want to disappoint my fans so I said "Elmo needs money, because Elmo loves Hungry Jacks."

I didn't even know why the heck I was in Hungry Jacks. I didn't even know what the point was.

After that it was home time for the kids because I had work.

Well that's about it.

I should go and return the kids to their owner.

That was my day seeing Grandma & Vomit

Video Proof Of Ghost For You Non-Believers

This is by far the best video footage I have seen of a ghost.

** Read BEFORE Opening Video Clip**

Strange - but very interesting was intended to be an automobile commercial to air in Great Britain. However, when they finished shooting the video footage, they noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a white mist. The ad never ran on TV because of the unexplained ghostly phenomenon.

Watch (closely) the front end of the car as it clears the trees in thee middle of the screen and you'll see the white mist crossing the car and then, following it along the road Spooky! Is it a ghost, or is it simply mist? You decide.

If you listen to the audio feed, even hear commentators talking about it near the very end of the commercial. It's creepy but pretty cool.

Ghost Car video

Nursery Rhymes are Stupid

There is something that just occurred to me. That is the way nursery rhymes don't make sense. Look at what I'm talking about:

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are

Read that last line again! This doesn't make sense YOU'RE A STAR!!!!!
First of all it acknowledges that its a star, secondly its wondering what it is. What, is the star suddenly going to boom "I'm a Fireman you idiot!?" I can't understand for the life of me why parents, teachers, and anyone else would teach kids such utter dribble to begin with.

Ok, here's another one:
Baa Baa Black sheep have you any wool
"Yes sir, yes sir 3 Bags full."

Hello, doesn't sheep have wool but the moron that is asking the sheep a question has to state the obvious. Its like asking someone if they have any skin. SHEEP HAVE WOOL! "No I don't, I've just been genetically modified to be a walking garden, I grow carrots." Another thing about that is that the sheep goes on to talk about who the wool has been given to. The last time I saw a talking sheep was on the movie BABE. Heck, kids are going to believe that sheep actually talk! Sheep have a brain the size of a ping pong ball, so I don't think that its got enough brains to know where its wool's going and to know where the little girl who lives down the lane lives.

Well that's about it, when I think of more stupid nursery rhymes I will put it here...

Donald Trumps Dog

My Brothers Manky Finger

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Ok, here's a gross photo of my brother's finger... He sliced it on an industrial pumpkin cutter at work - DOH!!!.
So I don't give little kiddies nightmares, I've taken the liberty of linking the photo in my photo album instead of someone opening this page and being confronted with something from a horror movie.
P.S - Any comments received will be passed onto my brother.

Question For The Viewers

Ok Viewers, I have a question for you.

Which one of the following would you prefer:
A. To have a national holiday named after you?
B. To have an Island named after you?
C. To have a Sundae named after you?

Place your response in the comments below and give some details and include the name of it and describe what it would be like.

I'm Gonna Be The President

My first duty as President will be to bring back Seinfeld

Millenium, Here We Come

Im booking my house out for the next millenium... anyone want to be here to be the first to see the sun rise on the next millenium?

My Friends

Today my good friend Ritchie Cunningham and I decided to stop at a fantastic restaurant called Arnold's. It was old fashion service with an old fashion smile.

While I was in there you won't believe what happened. Immigration came and took the Asian owner called Arnold away. His Visa had expired apparently. I think Arnold's is going to shut down and me, Ritchie, Ralph Mouth, Potsi, and Fonzi will have to go some where else.

I heard that McDonald's will be taking over Arnold's joint. I can't work out why - there's enough of them around.That was my day

What A Trooper

Last night I found my old Storm Trooper outfit from when I was in Starwars episode 4. The first Starwars. You are probably wondering which Storm Trooper I was. I was the one that bumped his head as he came through the door into the room where C3PO and R2-D2 was. It hurt like hell.

What you will never see or hear is that it knocked me out and I got a bad concussion. I was rushed to hospital and they released me later on in the afternoon. Unfortunately it kept production on hold that they got a replacement storm trooper. It was my clone. Remember Starwars Episode 2 - Attack of the clones? (this is the one before the first Starwars). You have no idea how far fact separates itself from fiction. You see I was one of those clones. George Lucas wanted the authenticity of real clones and I nominated myself for the cloning program.

My other clone lives in America and works for Donald Trump. He got his break after Donald Trump saw him as one of the rejects in the crowd on American Idol. Unlike my other clone counterpart, I can sing.

alright, so I don't have any proof of any of this. I don't have proof that I was the guy under the helmet. But I did end up getting this photo of me on the can. This was taken like over 20 years ago. I was at one of the secret scene locations for starwars. I was taking a toilet break for goodness sake and they found out where I was and walked right in and took this photo. I chased after the guy and proceeded to bash the crap out of him and I took his camera and got this photo developed.


I'm Bored

For the past month, I have been making a toilet out of lego. I have just put the last brick on my lego toilet today. I guess I was bored. Its life like. Now I gotta incorporate some plumbing.


One of my clients who I've been working with for over a year has a friend on the net. His friend knows how much I like Seinfeld....

Anyway about a month ago I was around there and he says to me "Mike I got a suprise for you and its in the box." Here was a box of Jujubes. Yep just like on Seinfeld - It was on the episode where Elaine stopped for a box on her way to the hospital to see her boyfriend. And there was another one where Elaine was talking with her mouth full and trying to tell her boss something on "The Opposite" (Season 5 - Ep 22). This made my day that a packet of Jujubes would come all the way from America to Australia.

My Pet Peeves

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Here are my pet peeves in no particular order

  • That stupid crazy frog
  • That there was only 9 Seasons of Seinfeld when they should've hung around for 10.
  • Simpson repeats
  • The fact that no matter how big a bag of M&M's you get, its not enough
  • Know alls
  • Being put on hold on the phone
  • Aussie Soap Opera's
  • Big Brother
  • People that don't use initative and just rely on God to do it and say "If its God's will..."
  • The fact that everytime a TV show is moved forward an hour its always on at a special time
  • That there are no decent comedies on TV anymore
  • That the Goodies are no more
  • That they are so darn slow to bring out the rest of the Seasons of Seinfeld on DVD.
  • The sound of finger nails across the blackboard

All I want is some clean underwear

HOUSTON (Reuters) - Whether it's boxers or briefs, two Houston women are working to give Hurricane Katrina survivors a fresh start with new, clean underwear.

"You can wear someone else's blue jeans or shirt, but you need your own underwear," said Kay Barbour who, along with Robin Nichols has organized a drive to collect the items for thousands of people who fled Louisiana or were evacuated to Houston.

The women set up collection boxes at a chain of fast food outlets, rallied their friends to the cause and dropped off 1,944 pairs of new underwear at the Salvation Army distribution center in Pasadena, a suburb of Houston.
They were all gone within two or three hours.

For the many who have lost everything, "a new pair of underwear is symbolic of a new start," said Dee Smith, the center's operations director.

Barbour and Nichols hope to encourage others to join their drive which they have dubbed "Drop Yer Drawers" for Katrina Survivors. The Buffalo Wild Wings restaurants in Pasadena, Pearland, and Clear Lake will take donations through September 18.

"It's been incredible," Nichols said. "People have made it personal, wanting to know what sizes are most needed or bringing in sizes similar to what they wear. Kids are coming in with bags of children's underwear."

Smith said the Salvation Army center had helped more than 600 families with clothing, shoes, food, personal hygiene items, baby needs, toys, household goods and more.
"But the one thing that has proven the most wanted is the one thing that is the least in supply -- new, clean underwear," she said.

My Dog Is Stupid

My dog is stupid. Her name is Katie. I think I've talked about her.

This photo on the right is her next to my mum.
Katie doesn't like me. It might have something to do with the fact that about 3 years ago I was going to take her for a walk. Katie loved her walks except for some unknown reason 200 metres was too far to walk so she decided to limp. Yep, she lifted her right rear leg and started limping. Actually a good thing came out of this, at the same time a girl about my age walked past and gave a sigh and said "Oh look at the dog, she's hurt her leg." I thought "Dang the dog is setting me up with this girl" but for some unknown reason I said "No she pretending and she wants me to carry her." and the girl gave a laugh as she walked off. I picked her up and started carrying her and it dawned on me: "Why the heck am I feeling sorry for the dog? Its an attention seeker!" so I put her down and she didn't want to walk any further but just sat there on the path until I picked her up and walked home.
Now fast forward to 3 years later:
I got the leash out and she got excited coz she knew she was going for a walk. The problem is that she didn't want me to take her, she wanted mum to. This is what was going on in her mind:
"Oh boy, that loser has brought Mum the leash so she can take me for a walk."
I put the leash on her and she just sat there because there was no way she was coming with me. So I handed the leesh to Mum and straight away Katie went into 'Walkies Mode'.
Another thing is that the dog only comes to me if it wants a drink or go outside for Number 1's or 2's. How stupid is that?