A Bit About Me

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I thought I would show my friends and family a bit of what I do and where I grew up as a kid so that they could understand my deeper side.

MY BUSINESS:
When I started my business this is a photo of my first office. I provide computer training, tech support, graphic design and other IT services


Here is our graphic design department



MY HOME:


This is the house of Elliott when I was growing up.We lived on Durey Lane. Our house is a small one. It used to be my folks house, but I'm the only one living there now.

Every morning there would be a fight over who got the bathroom first.

I certainly do like my bubble baths!

MY DAD:
This is my dad about 20 years ago


MY NEXT CAR:

Isn't it a swell looking car? I know it needs a bit of work but nothing that a little spit shine can't fix. I can hardly wait to drive it.

Well thats my tour. Hope you enjoyed it!

THAT Christmas Play

I was thinking about when I was about 18. We were asked to write a Christmas play. Yep it was a great play. My 2 friends and I who for the purpose of telling my story I will call "Nathan" and "John" (Because that was their real names). We started off by meeting each week at a place called Raunchy Rooster - I kid you not, its a real place!

'Raunchies', as we liked to call it was a great place. Considering we didn't have KFC or McDonald's in my town, this was the closest you could get to real chicken. That was the life, 3 friends digging into their greasy chicken, hanging out and talking. Yep, what more could you ask for. It took us 3 months to write a script.

What the end product was something that was almost a bit like Monty Python - Ok, a lot like Monty Python. Our budget was really bad, we ended up buying everything ourselves... We decided that instead of building some sets that everything would be made out of Cardboard... yep, the same stuff as boxes.... Open a box all the way and tape a few of them together and you got a wall or house. We cast ourselves as the Wise men. But we ran into a few problems about where to get some camels from. We didn't live in the Sahara so we didn't have Camels. We decided to do the only thing we could do and that was to cut them out of cardboard boxes and paint them up - So we did only to realize that the camels were too small. Not only that, but we were running out of time and it looked like we would only get 2 camels done. I came up with the idea that I would use a pair of Flip Flops (Ok we call them thongs but I know what everyone else calls them so I'll speak your language) and slap them together to make the walking sound of the other 2 camels considering we don't get coconuts here.

Yep, it went off... It was hilarious too. We weren't making fun of the Christmas story. This is just the way our minds worked. We came up with another idea in our brainstorming sessions that the Wise men should have different personalities... One serious, one funny, and one that speaks in rhyme, all the time.

We wrote a rhyme so when the Wise men went from door to door asking where Baby Jesus he could explain... Sort of like Dr Seuss stories... It went like this

that's right my man
I'm proud to say
that's why we've come this way
You see my friends, they and I
One bright eve were searching the sky
To low and behold a star appeared
My friends and I were greatly cheered
We've come to search for the king of the Jews
that's why we bring you this good news!

At the last house that the Wise men go to they were suppose to ask where Baby Jesus was and go on their way. Little did I know was that my friend Nathan changed the script on me. There was this Welsh guy that was playing the owner of that place. The conversation went like this:
"Do you know where the baby king is?"
"Why as me, I'm not a Jew, I'm an ARAB"
"I could've sworn that was a Welsh accent" We totally lost it on stage because it was the funniest thing I had heard.

Yep, that's about it. I don't even know why the heck I'm typing this, but it sticks out in my mind.

Until next time....
Stay cool

Lets Celebrate Next Week's DVD release of Starwars 3

To celebrate Starwars Episode 3 coming out on DVD next week, I thought I'd put my own tribute to Starwars.



Time for me to go and rent Spaceballs... May the 'schwartz' be with you!

Stupid IM chat Of The Week

Here is a recent conversation of some guy who was chatting to me....
(I have changed his name to protect him (Actually thats probably a stupid move considering he probably deserves it).

some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:38 PM): helloooo
some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:39 PM): how are u?????
some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:39 PM): where u been?
some moron (10/24/2005 4:21:45 PM): are u there????
Me (10/24/2005 4:21:51 PM): I'm not here all the time
some moron (10/24/2005 4:22:08 PM): yes i know...where are u???
some moron (10/24/2005 4:22:24 PM): for a long time cant hear ur news.
Me (10/24/2005 4:22:36 PM): its only been 2 days
some moron (10/24/2005 4:22:48 PM): no....u lie
Me (10/24/2005 4:22:53 PM): how long?
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:07 PM): 2 weeks maybe
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:20 PM): so tell me what u do?
Me (10/24/2005 4:23:24 PM): I only added you on my list last week
Me (10/24/2005 4:23:38 PM): I'm in computers
Me (10/24/2005 4:23:41 PM): I told you
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:47 PM): yes
some moron (10/24/2005 4:23:55 PM): okey...sorryy
Me (10/24/2005 4:24:00 PM): its ok
some moron (10/24/2005 4:24:28 PM): have u g.f?
Me (10/24/2005 4:24:36 PM): yes
some moron (10/24/2005 4:24:47 PM): nice too hear.
some moron (10/24/2005 4:24:56 PM): when u want treat me???
Me (10/24/2005 4:25:08 PM): what do you mean?
some moron (10/24/2005 4:25:39 PM): u know like someone will pay for eat.
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:11 PM): know im really alittle be upset
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:27 PM): but nevermind okey
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:42 PM): see you
some moron (10/24/2005 4:26:44 PM): bye
Me (10/24/2005 4:26:46 PM): bye

I don't know what this guy expects me to do. Firstly I got better things to do than sit here waiting for people to chat to me. Secondly, this guy wasn't even displayed as online but he was invisible, so even if I had added him to my list, there's no way for me to know if he was on or not. Lastly, if I knew where this guy lived, it would give me an oportunity to throw stones on his roof. You are probably asking "Why don't you just block him?" Yeah I tried, but it wasn't available to me, I think simply because he was invisible.

Anyway thats enough from me.
Get back to work!

My 201st Post

WOO HOO, What can I say? I've made 200 blog entries!! This is my 201st post.

Here's a speech I just prepared for such an occasion as this:

*Clears Throat and puts on a fake American accent*

First of all I'd like to thank the academy, my manager, my friends, my family, my dog, you all rock... I'd like to thank the Natural confectionery Company for the lollies they sell at IGA, Coles, and Safeway. I'd also like to thank Coke for just being there on the shelf when I walk past (Especially Vanilla Coke)...... I'd also like to thank the Milkbar around the corner for selling the best Chips & Gravy in Australia, Collingwood for coming second-last in the AFL premiership. My thanks also go to the dudes who make Milo, Tim Tams, and anything else that makes Australia great. Also I'd like to thank anyone else I've forgotten - You know who you are (If you have just arrived here, here's your chance to take some credit for something you didn't do). I want to thank the one I love (If you can't love the one you love, love the one you're with - Ok its a song.) And finally, most of all I'd like to thank Gud. Without Gud none of this would be possible.

Thankyou, you've been a great audience. Don't forget to tip your waiter and waitress on the way out. I'll be here till Sunday, try the veil

The Craziest Thing I've Done

I've just done the craziest thing. Part of it is curiosity, part of it is just out of boredom. I decided to go into a chatroom as a girl. Within 5 mins of being in there I had 5 guys trying to hit on me. Yes it was weird. I can't believe girls put up with this crap.

I'm convinced stupid pick up lines and trying to act like Fabio is no way into a girls heart because girls aren't stupid, they can tell a mile away. Even in Christian chatrooms of all places there were wolves in sheep clothing and people who were full of it.

Without a doubt, there would be only about 10% of the room total who are real. It makes me ashamed to be a guy sometimes when I see girls being treated like that. Some guys need a good kick up the butt. For goodness sake, get a life you maniac!

National Sarcasm Society

I'm part of the National Sarcasm Society

Save The Date

Save The Date for 3rd Feb, 2007...

Can't say what for yet but watch this space

Caption This

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Place a witty Caption in the comments below

Whats wrong with this comp?

You may be looking at this photo and wondering "So what, its a competition that Microsoft is running" yeah it is - very observant of you. Here's the problem... look right there and you'll see that they are giving away an ipod too. Who makes ipods? APPLE!!! Since when did Microsoft get on Apple computers side?

Just a competition that was sent to me that I find amusing - thats all, now go back to work!

Things That Bug Me

Here is a useless post. I don't care if anyone reads this. If I cared I would have became a freelance writer and had it published in Readers Digest or something.

here's a list of things that annoy the crap out of me:

  • Old people who try to act cool and use jargon that teenagers use just so they can fit in and try to be acceptable to them - Give it up, young people can see through it
  • People who use the word 'Like' about 10 million times in one sentence. For example: "Like, the other day, Like I saw Bobby and like I was like 'Oh my gosh'". Give it a break and stop pretending you live in Beverly Dills 90210.
  • Control freaks and people that don't know how to work in a team but try to do everything themselves because they think that they are God's gift to whatever the heck the are doing and that the thing they are involved with will fall apart without them. Hey Bozo, if you want to play Gandhi, do it in your own time!
  • People who are too cheap to pay me for a job I've done for them, instead they think that they can buy me off with food. Hey cheapskate, pay people what they are worth and stop trying to scam your way out of things
  • People who continuously over use the word 'Whatever' and combine it with a sing song voice.
  • Movies that have excessive swearing and sex scenes. For the love of Pete, get some Psychiatric help. And do us all a favour and get a room - unless you're a pervert no one wants to see that crap.
  • People who are too darn serious. Do us all a favour and cheer up ya loser. Dang, the world is going down the crapper and all you are worried about is if you're going to be embarassed or look like a moron. No one likes grumpy farts. Get a life!

When I think of more things I will add it.

What am I thinking at the moment

What's the deal with Braille on the keypad of an ATM. I went to the ATM and looked at the keypad and I wonder why on Earth anyone would put Braille on there. When was the last time you've stood in a que behind a blind person waiting for him/her to use it?

And why is it that every word has another meaning except for thesaurus? I don't get it.

I went to my fridge and done some cleaning up to make sure that there was nothing left past its expiry date. There was only one problem - I found a container of sour cream but it hadn't passed its expiration date. Does it really matter how long you keep sour cream for? I mean isn't it going to be always sour?

Ok, I've got too much time on my hands, I'm out of here...

God is real, here's proof

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This happened in my family.

My Mum went to see a specialist and got an MRI scan because the doctors believed that she could've had a tumour. Our family was freaking out, I went out for prayer that sunday I heard and just totally cried out for God to do a miracle.

She got the results back and the doctor said that he and his associate had been looking at the results for a week confused (they were late getting back to her because of this). They wanted to know if mum had any brain surgery and she told the dr's that she hadn't. The doctor asked this because all he could find was a scar on the brain and no evidence of the tumour left. God totally left the scar there to prove that the tumour was removed (yep he could of removed that too but its all good).

So you think that God is stupid, dead, and doesn't heal huh? Well this is 110% real and happened in my family. Jesus is in the healing business so put your trust and hope in Him!

Marcos Ambrose Nascar Update

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Have a look at this quick update about Marcos' progress for the United States...

"Marcos Ambrose will be part of our NASCAR mix in 2006 and beyond," said Dan Davis, Director Ford Racing Technology. "He tested extremely well and our Ford Racing NASCAR Program Manager, Ben Leslie, who oversaw the test, was very impressed with Marcos' ability behind the wheel, his understanding of the vehicle and his technical feedback.

His lap times were right on the money and Ben feels Marcos is ready to go right now. We are evaluating a number of options for Marcos in NASCAR and will only commit him to one of our tier one, top level programs."John Szymanski, Manager, Sponsor & Team Development added,

"Right now our collective focus is ensuring that Marcos completes his mission of winning his third straight V8 Supercar Championship for Ford Australia and Stone Brothers Racing."

Stay tuned for more information coming soon!

That Crash

Ok, so I'm watching the V8 Supercars and I can't believe what happened at Bathurst. Greg Murphy (A Kiwi of all people) hit Marcos Ambrose (Legend and Aussie) from behind. Ambrose hit a wall, and Murph crashed into him which caused a pile up of at least 10 cars from behind and the road up to the top of the mountain. The road was blocked the total of the damage would be close to $1.5 million. I was literally up off my seat as Ambrose and Murph got out of their cars and exchanged words.

The cool thing out of this is that my hero Russell Ingall is finally at the top of the Championship. With 3 rounds to go, I think we can expect a #1 on his door. He totally deserves it. One of my other heroes Craig Lowndes had a Wheel from the car in front hit his car and smash his windscreen. He had to drop into the pits to remove the front and back windscreens turning it into a mobile freezer. His car until this time was totally flawless and would have won the race if it wasn't for the wheel. Another thing that is stupid is that Ambrose was told that he wasn't wearing a balaclava (it protects his head In case of a fire). Why did they stop him and no one else? I have never seen my dad so fired up and he said at dinner time when that report was on TV "RIGHT WE'RE GOING TO THE FINALE" (The last round). The morons officials at the V8's need to pull their head out of their backsides and have a close look. What's good for one person is good for all.

What do you reckon?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What do you think?

X-box Live

This is the longest I've gone without a post. Some of you probably don't care, while some of you are wondering what I've been up to well I'll tell you.

I've just signed up for X-box Live. Yep and its awesome. I totally love playing V8 Supercars Online. That game is actually called TOCA 2 anywhere else except for Australia they slapped a V8 label on it. Yep its awesome... And you can voice chat to other competitors while driving at the same time. Just incase anyone is wondering what my name is on there I'm Enforca.

Well thats a short update. C-ya around!