More Wedding Photos, Enjoy

More Christmas Cheer

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) --here is the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas

Festivus For The Restivus

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Many Christmas's ago, Frank Costanza went to buy a doll for George. There was only one doll left and when he reached for it, so did another man. After struggling for the doll, he thought there could be another way. The doll was destroyed, but out of that, a new holiday was born. It was called Festivus. A Festivus for the rest-iv-us..

Festivus Information:

Celebrated December 23rd each year.

The Meal:
Whatever you want

During the last few weeks in December when Festivus takes place, families and friends get together at the dinner table and have something called "the Airing of Grievances". Durning this time, we share with family and friends all the ways they had disappointed over the past year.

After the Airing
of Grievances, we get together right in the same night to do something called "Feats of Strength". This is where the head of the household tests his/her strength with another friend or family member. The great honour is given out to a different person each year. In Seinfeld, Cosmo Kramer was given the honor but turned it down to George Costanza as he had an appointment.

Now for the pole. No it is not a tree. A pole, no decorations. Frank Costanza believes that tinsel is very distracting so there are no decorations. The pole is tall, silver, hollow, long, skinny, and heavy.

Our Wedding Day - The Photos

Hey Everyone!! Our wedding day was incredible. We are still overwhelmed and blessed with the amount of support on the day. As You can see, Elena's dress was amazing. The food was incredible. We can't ask for anything more.

The day was more than we could ever hope or dream it could be. Without further left to do we present you with the first lot of photos from the day. More to follow. Enjoy heaps!

1 Day To Go.... Tomorrows The Big Day!

Well Tomorrows the Big Day... Everything is set... Elena and I are excited... About this time tomorrow we will be husband and wife....

Thanks to everyone who has been leaving fantastic messages of support. You are the best! Thanks Everyone!

God Bless you all

Mike and Elena!

2 Days To Go... Its Time!

Here we go! the time is counting down. There is less than 40 hours left until the wedding!

This is possibly the last post that you will read from yours truly as a bachelor before Elena and I tie the knot on Saturday. The next entry will most likely be after we get married. All the preparation is done, the practice is tomorrow night and then the guys go out for my bachelor party until midnight.... Where's my time gone? I want it back - ha ha.

People keep asking me if I'm nervous about getting married. The answer is a big fat satisfying 'NO!' My question is: What am I suppose to be nervous about? If I was then they would be good nerves.

I'm thankful to my folks. They are the best! They have been so supportive and totally embraced Elena since day 1 since she touched down on Australian soil. Since Elena's folks won't be able to make it to the wedding my dad is walking Elena down. Elena and I totally understand the circumstances and the reason why you both can't make it and I thank you both for embracing me and counting me as part of your family.... It is such an awesome blessing and I look forward to meeting you both in person!!!

Well thats me for now...... see you all around...

Keep the messages coming, they're great!!

4 Days To Go - Way to Go

Hey everyone.... not much time now... for our family and friends in the U.S.A here is a link to our church to show you what the auditorium and reception area is like for the wedding. Oh yeah, I designed the church website.
CLICK HERE to visit the church site.
CLICK HERE to view photos.

Have a great day/night/morning/evening everyone.

Leave a comment below by clicking the comments link.

5 Days To Go

G'day Everyone...
The countdown is on... theres 5 days to go until our wedding! woo hoo... We orginally thought that we would be able to a satelite link for the wedding so our Elena's family and friends could watch it online... unfortunately this won't be happening. The good news is we are putting our wedding on DVD and posting it out after the big day. 95% of the preparation has been done. Elena and I are just tidying up the loose ends. If everything goes according to plan, it all should be done by Wednesday night.

Anywho, thats all for now... watch this space. Oh yeah, leave a comment below... PPPPLLLEAASAASSSSEEEE!!!

FAQ - Ask Mike & Elena

We've added a new feature to our blog: The ability to ask us questions on our FAQ page. All you do is ask any question or for some advice and we will respond.

Click Here to Begin.

15 Days Till We Get Married - Crikey!

Well its counting down! 15 days until Elena and I officially tie the knot. Most of the preparation has been done.... woohoo... we got this weekend and next weekend to tidy up any loose ends with the preparation.

To fit in with the theme of this entry I have included one of my favourite conversations on Seinfeld. Check it out.

Caption This....

Come up with an amusing caption for this photo and paste it in the comments below

Photos, Photos, Photos... Did we mention photos?

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Elena and I decided to go to the Grampians for the weekend
"Crikey what's that?"
"Something very sheepish ahead"

Look what the Grampians fires done!

These two photos were taken out at the Grampians (Halls Gap).

We didn't see any Kangaroos but Elena and I found did find an Echidna (A porchipine for you Americans).

This was taken at our engagement party last Saturday Night
If you liked these, you'll like the rest found in my photo album in flickr. Click Here to enter!

The What A Waste Of Time Dept.

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The Only Survivor After A Nuclear War

I Shouldn't have had that extra large coke

The "Stupid Joke" Dept.

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.

Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"

The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."

The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.

Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."

The 'Here Comes The Bride' Dept.

Its Official! Mike & Elena are getting married on Dec 9, 2006.

Yep, you read it first. This is not a joke! We are tying the knot at our home church 'Abundant Life Christian Fellowship'. Invitations will be sent out to family and friends this week. We will also be doing a webcast online possibly through skype or yahoo messenger for those guests unable to attend this way you won't miss it! (Just bring your confetti to throw at the screen).

Details for this awesome online webcast will follow shortly.

Have a great day from the land down under!
Mike & Elena.

The "New Home" Dept

You've probably just realised that we've changed the address. We're encorporating both of our names in the address simply because some people don't know how to spell Elliott and spell it like Elliot or even Eliott or Eliot. So all you have to do now is go to from now on.

If you're one of the millions of people who happen to bookmark our weblog then you'll need to update your links - sorry.

This is just a friendly note... thats all.

The "It's my birthday and I'll party if I want to" Dept.

Its awesome here in Australia. I'm having an awesome birthday with Michael. We're partying like it's on sale for $19.99. Michael got me a mobile phone for my birthday. Thanks to all my family for all your great cards. Michael is taking me bowling tonight for my birthday. Michael's family gave me silk pajamas.

Yep, thats all for now!

The 'Engagement Party' Dept.

Bonjour dudes!
Long time no hear from Elena or I. We are busily preparing our engagement party as we speak. The engagement party date is set for October 14th at a restaurant called the White Horse. Nope its not the White House but close enough I guess. We'll keep everyone informed even though we're getting busy making plans. Thanks for your emails and kind words of encouragement. Please send money.... ha ha - wait we're being serious.

I took Elena to the Grampians last weekend. If you've never been, you don't know what you're missing Click here for a website with info, photos, and other stuff. Yep, we took some photos, we'll post them within the next couple of days.

On the subject of engagements:
What did the big phone say to the little phone? 'You're too young to be engaged'.

Watch this space.

Caption This

Fancy yourself as a caption writer. Come up with a caption for this photo!
Leave your caption below in the comments!

The "What We've Been Up To" Dept.

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Hey there everyone. Elena and I are shocked and in unbelief on the passing of Steve Irwin The Croc Hunter. It is very surreal to think that someone we admire had gone the way he did. We think it's uncanny that name of this blog has been inspired from Steve Irwin. I thought at one stage to change the name but we've decided to keep the name.

On Monday my boss took 6 guys from my work to do some defensive driving with Craig Lowndes. What an awesome day this was! This is a picture of Craig Lowndes and me....Craig Lowndes is a V8 Supercar Superstar. I drove around this test track with Lowndsey as my passenger... He just jumped in my car ..... I work for Domino's Pizza - they sponsor him and we headed down to Melbourne after lunch for a signing and for Lowndsey to deliver a pizza to one lucky customer. We were in a convoy of about 10 Domino's delivery cars. This was one of the best days ever. I said ONE. Proposing to Elena is still tops the list as the best day ever.

Stay tuned for more updates!

The "Earth's a Hole, Dig It" Dept.

This is Australia. Elena and I live in a town called Bendigo.

I was thinking that if I dug a hole in Lake Weeroona in Bendigo to the other side of the world come out.....


The 'Cloud 9.5' Dept.

Click here to make this pic bigger! Thanks to everyone who has been supportive of Elena and I. Thanks for your prayers and e-mails. Everything is greater than we could ever dream it would be. God is amazing. Check it out on the left! See the bling?

We haven't set the date yet but keep an eye out on this blog for details soon. What we can tell you is that we're going to be married in our church. Click here and check out the church website. If you want to see what the inside of the church looks like then Click Here. Oh yeah, I designed the website.
We are interested to know if any of Elena's family or friends are going to be flying over from the states. Our friends here have already offered their places. So accomodation won't be too hard to come by.

We still haven't got off cloud 9.5 yet - and why should we? The whole idea that Elena is my fiance is kind of surreal. It still hasn't sunk in yet. We feel so blessed!
There are some photos in our photo album link on the right-hand side that you won't see in these posts. Click here to view it.

Oh yeah, I know some have been trying to send comments but for one reason or another they haven't gone through. This has something to do with Blogger and not us - Sorry. The good news is this has been fixed. So post your comments!

The 'We Are Engaged' Dept.

Hey Peoples!
We just want to let everyone know that we are now Engaged!!!

Last night we gave our testimony in church then I proposed and when Elena said Yes the whole church went nuts and popped party poppers and blew the party whistles.

Everyone has been amazing and supportive! Thanks to all our family and friends.... You all rock!!

The 'Aussie Awesome' Dept.

Okay.....Let me begin by explaining to all those in the U.S. how amazingly awesome Australia is amazingly awesome! Infact breathtaking! Michael is so handsome and I love him so very much...I am so curious and stoked to find out when he will propose.....Australia has numerous perks such as supreb foods! Australian chocolate is very creamy and rich. Another difference is that Aussie's put tomato sauce (ketchup) on mashed potatoes and veggies....Aussie don't dip foods into ketchup they drizzle it on top of their food. There are numerous cultural, environmental differences compared to the U.S. It is winter time here and during the day the temperature ranges from 10-25 degrees celicius. The air is a bit dryer here. The Aussie people are so very accomodating and nice! The telly (television) is a bit different than the U.S. there are fewer comericals on T.V. Also, the grass is brown...there is some green grass it is pretty scarce though. Well that the news for now in the 'Aussie Awesome' Dept. I will write a entry every week. Hello and Crikey to all the mates in the U.S. and in Australia as well.

The 'Random Happenings' Dept.

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Click here to enlarge this photo Here is something cool. Elena pulled this $10 australian note out of her purse on the first day she was here and there was a Use By / Expiration date sticker stuck to it. I had my camera on me and took a photo of this... pretty funny huh?
I wonder what date we have to use this by?
Oh yeah, another thing.... this is a cool feature... it would be really cool if people would post comments on this site. At the bottom of every post theres a link to click where you can put your comments. Elena and I value these so do us a favour and say leave your thoughts or even a greeting. This is another alternative to actually emailing us if you don't know what to say. Go ahead, make our day.

Click here to enlarge this groovy photo Elena and I played a round of mini golf on Wednesday and she bet me by 1 stroke. The bet was if I lost I would tell her the date I intend to propose to her but still I didn't say when as soon as I lost. I can't believe I was laid that on the line as the wager. HEY, I want it to be a surprise alright?

There is only a handful of people who know the date and Elena's mum (or mom for you americans) Debbie knows this so if you really want to know when I'm gonna pop the question then ask her.

Click here to enlarge this cool as photo

Thank God for an 8 stroke limit or other wise I would have lost by more. No, I'm not a 'Golf Nerd'. And that's why I pretty much suck at the game. I don't like golf, don't own clubs, and nor will I ever. Mini golf is as far as I go with the game. The course is actually based on all different Australian tourist sites and stuff like that. So imagine hitting the ball over The Sydney Harbour Bridge and through Ayres Rock.

Oh yeah, Just for those playing along at home: on Elena's right is the 12 Apostles.

That's what we've been up to.... Leave a comment peoples!

The 'what you ask for is not what you get' Dept.

Elena and I are having a ball here in Australia being together. Last Saturday night we went to a pizza restaurant for dinner (Tea/Supper for you Americans playing along at home). After spending 10 mins deciding what pizza to order we decided to do something extra special and go half - half of a large pizza. I ordered my favourite pizza which was an Aussie pizza that consists of egg, ham, and cheese. Usually I ask for extra pineapple on my pizza. Elena decided to go with the American pizza consisting of Pepperoni, Tomato, Sauce, and some other stuff. Ok, that sounds easy huh? The waitress grinned as we ordered and she heard Elena asking for an american pizza with an american accent.

15 mins later the pizza arrived but not the pizza we ordered. It was a Aussie pizza but my question was 'Where was the American side?' According to the waitress this is what what we ordered but for them to fix it up there was going to be a 30 min wait. We decided to take that pizza and we discussed how we weren't going to pay for something we didn't get, or atleast pay for the Aussie part.

We went to 'pay' and told the guy behind the counter our problem and to make a long story even longer, we only paid $5 for our dinner coz we ate the 'half' a pizza. Bargain huh? This followed by hot chocolate and coffee at the Mc Donalds cafe who, may I add, make the best hot chocolate in town.

We bought a new car on Tuesday. Its a Mazda 626 hatchback with Power Steering, Power Windows, and Cruise Control. The interior is a dark red and we decided to call the car "Elmo".

Thats what we've been up to....
More to follow...


The Stuff Dept.

You're now looking at the new improved weblog with a new heading.... think of it like giving an old weblog a facelift or botox and making it look 50 years younger. That reminds me, my grandpa got a wig that makes him look 20 years sillier.

We've changed the heading because Elena and I have been taking stacks of photos together to make up for the time we've been apart. And knowing that alot of Elena's family and friends will be checking this out to find out what we're up to is great.

Everything is beautiful. Crikey we're having a blast! Everything is better than expected. Thanks for your support and prayers!

Michael & Elena are doing super. Elena is adjusting to the new cultures, new food, and new environments. Elena has seen kangaroos, cockatoos, magpies, and other Australian Wildlife. We're going to church together and Elena is loving the people there. Her jet-lag only lasted 5 minutes after a 25 hour flight from the U.S.

Australian weather is very different from U.S weather along with Australian food. Aussie food like Chips and Gravy, vegemite, sausage rolls, jelly slices, Tim Tams, Milo, and Dim Sims which are superb according to Michael & Elena. We are keeping updates here on this blog.

The Another Happy Snap Dept

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This photo says it all....

The Happy Snap Dept.

What a cute couple!

The Checkout The Photo Dept.

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Wow I can't believe it! 14 months later we're together at last! Check out the photo!

The Call Someone Who Cares Dept.

Just thought since Elena is on her way here to the land down under as I speak that I would take this oportunity to thank Superbuzz for their awesome phone cards.... you can't complain with .9c per min... basically on a $10 phone card I can spend 17h 37m talking to her.... cool huh? I'd also like to than the guy at the post office for giving me a complimentary $2 card this morning....

Checkout the Superbuzz site...

The Just Random Dribblings Dept.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Just thought I'd say that coz I'm bored but don't worry because right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

I had a job that lasted a week and a half because the director at the Next Core Group was the biggest rip off artist. I wish I could have some more happier news since this was job #350 that I had applied for in the past 7 years. The interview was a joke as how the marketing job wasn't even described as going to businesses and homes and selling their stuff. Infact I wish I could say something like:

I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't want your job."

Infact, take that story instead of real one because it sounds more interesting. At the moment I'm in a chatroom, not only that its a christian chatroom. That reminds me theres actually a suburb in heaven for all the grumpy farts, they sit around all day in chatrooms and whinge - as if. I feel like saying "Want some cheese with your whine?" Heck if they got anger management classes... they can have "cheer up you grumpy old bugger" classes. It should be illegal!

Speaking of illegal: One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

Thats what I'm thinking right now....

The Peas and Carrots Dept.

Wow, its been nearly a month and I guess everyone's been wondering where I've been. Well maybe with the lack of comments people couldn't care. Anyway, I thought I'd let everyone know whats going on.

Firstly, Elena will be touching down on Australian soil July 26th... I can't wait... About Time!!!! Will be talking about that more later...

Other highlights over these past 30 days:

  • I got a job then I quit coz I got ripped off and there was alot of dodgy stuff going on at the "Next Core Group".... (Sooo I mentioned names.... Thats what they get for acting like complete morons)
  • I realised I could play drums and I'm now the new drummer at church even though I've only had 2 hours or so practice.... I catch on pretty quick
  • Saw Superman Returns, Click, Xmen 3
  • Got kicked out of Pirates of the Caribean coz the only available seats where on the floor (Apparently if theres a fire the people up in the back row would make it out quicker than us). So we got our money back - Tip for cinemas: Don't sell tickets for seats you haven't got, it makes you look like a complete twit or people will walk out and bad mouth you.

well thats about it for now.... see you around.... stay tuned

Thank Hoff Its Thursday #6

What ever happened to the funny creatures?

If you are a person who grew up in the 80' may have encountered or even had a popple. They were cute, soft, and fuzzy...and as a child you could take them anywhere-vacations, down the shore, or even hug them as you fell asleep. They came in different colors and sizes. It was pretty much a unisex toy...I even think that there were boy popples and girl popples. I am wondering if the popple is there such a thing as an Aussie popple?....I am thinking that if it did exist in Australia that the popple might come with a crocodile attached...boy wouldn't that be cool......Or if you squeezed it that it might be automated and say Crikey...get your hand out of that crocodile's mouth! Who would admit that they even had a popple...I did have one-although for the life of me I have no idea where it is?

Thank Hoff Its Thursday #5

Family Recipe-Taste of the Crikey Files

Here is a family recipe which is a great and fun way to make Cinnamon Buns. I am looking forward to trying this recipe out on Mike and for us to try and make this together....Yes ladies this is a great recipe to make with boyfriend and have fun....please let Mike & Elena know how it goes!

Cinnamon Bun

1 bag frozen Rich’s dinner rolls
1 – 3 oz. Box butterscotch pudding (not instant)
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1 stick butter or margarine
Raisins Walnuts (optional)

Grease and flour (or spray) a bundt or ring pan. Sprinkle bottom pf pan with raisins and walnuts. Place frozen rolls in pan making 1 layer around pan. Mix brown sugar and dry pudding together and sprinkle over rolls. Mix sugar and cinnamon together and sprinkle over rolls. Melt butter and pour over top of dry sprinkled mixtures. Cover with dishcloth and cover with towel to keep warm. Let rise over night and bake 350 for approximately 30 minute or until done. Let stand for 3 to 5 minutes and turn over onto plate – Enjoy!!

Someone actually bought my secrets from Ebay

I put for sale on Ebay my secret twice. 2 people won them... I made $2 from one and $3.75 from the other..... Cool as. I can't say what it is. They recieve a certificate with the secret on it!

Question of the day????

On jeopardy the other day they had a Aussie question!

What do Aussie's call bingo?

Looking for some awesome movies to see!

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Hello Everyone.....are you in search for some must see movies? Whether it is a romantic, comedy, drama, or adventure are a couple that Mike & Elena recommend! (Although our list is much bigger than this!) Please let us know what you think!

Never Been Kissed (one of Elena's favorites!)
The Wedding Singer
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
The Three Amigos
The Man
Spiderman 1, 2, and we have not seen 3
The Princess Bride (Mike has not seen....waiting to see this with him!)
Indiana Jones (the entire series)
The Benchwarmers (Elena has not seen...Mike says this one is great)
The Terminal
Back to the Furture Trilogy

In the comments section, please add your favorite movie! Mike & Elena would love to hear your choices!

Thank Hoff Its Thursday #4

I wonder what the 11 herbs and spices are?

Sounds awesome... I think I want to get a credit card

Its the Hoff, the cool wiggle.