My Tips For The AFL - Round 1

As all Aussies know, The 2006 AFL premiership season is now on us. Everyweek I'm going to be putting my tips here on who I think is going to win. I'm interested in hearing peoples comments

Ok, heres my tips for Round 1 for the Footy, My tips are in [Brackets]

[Westcoast Eagles] V St Kilda at Subiaco
Western Bulldogs V [Richmond] at Telstra Dome
[Geelong] V Brisbane Lions at Skilled Stadium
[Essendon] V Sydney Swans Telstra Dome
[Port Adelaide] V Kangaroos at AAMI Stadium
Hawthorn V [Fremantle] at Aurora Stadium
[Melbourne] V Carlton at Telstra Dome
Collingwood V [Adelaide] at Telstra Dome

Note: I probably won't be throwing votes Collingwoods way anyway throughout the year because I don't like them.

This is a great chance to thank everyone for their overwhelming response to my Footy Tipping Competition, you all rock! Join my Comp by clicking here. Goodluck to everyone who has joined and especially good luck to Richmond and Nathan Brown - Go get them!

The 'Whats The Deal With This Guy?' Comp

Here's the deal. A while ago some weirdo started chatting with me on the net. I have no idea who he was and what he does. He was a weirdo. I thought he was so weird that I decided to post the whole transcript from Hello to Goodbye.

This is where you my readers come in:
Here's a chance to win some more credits. Infact how does 20 big ones sound?

All you have to do is go to this entry on my blog and tell me in the comments below in this post the following:

1. What kind of resources you think that this guy was exporting

2. To where

I'm looking for the most original answer. Use your imagination. Don't forget to include your B.E username if you want a chance to win the credits. Even leaving a normal comment may win you some credits.

Entry will be announced on my blog sometime April 7 Australian Time.

Good luck

Nerds 'R' Us

| 3 Comment(s)

When I'm chatting on the net I'm sick of people asking me for my photo. I've decided to have a little fun. I found my nerd glasses, I put them on and *poof* instant nerd, just add glasses. Now if anyone asks me for my photo and I don't want to talk to them I'll just give them this photo. These sick demented people can add this to their stash of photos that they have collected from people in chatrooms and I'll let Yahoo know that this person is spamming me..

The worst thought I had 2 minutes ago was that there maybe, just maybe someone in this world that actually goes around looking like this - a nerdish me. If this is you, leave a comment below. And take off those glasses for goodness sake and get yourself some snazzy coloured contact lenses.

Why is it racism when you talk about the colour of someone's skin, but not with nerds. Is there such a thing as nerd racism? Who knows.
If people really knew me in the chatrooms they would know that I'm not serious at all. They will know that if they checked my profile at least because I can't make it anymore clearer than saying "I don't take chat seriously". If people are still offended because I'm not serious then they need to see Dr Phil or something because its beyond a joke. I'm sure people actually 'camp' in chatrooms. The same nerds are in there all the time. Don't you people have a life? Don't you have a wife, husband, kids, or a mother in law to go home to? If you haven't got time to talk to your spouse or kids, you haven't got time FULL STOP. Get your lazy butt off the computer and go do something, and I don't mean the TV.

While I'm at it, what the heck is wrong with people that are married for 15 years and meet someone online and leave their spouse for some moron they have never met? What is wrong with you people? You really are a nerd because you spend your time getting involved with someone when you are already involved!

I better get some work done,
Well that's my 2 cents,
have your 2 cents worth below
Your pal,

This is Post 300!!!

Woohoo, I can't believe it! I've written 300 posts!

To celebrate 300 posts I will be giving away 30 Blog Explosion Credits. Cool huh?

For those readers who keep coming back here and have been waiting for my 300th post, you know what to do!!

Click here for the question that you need to put below in the comments... The first person wins 30 big ones!

Where Have I Been?

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Where have I been? My computer is playing up. I haven't been able to connect to the internet for 2 weeks. Thank God for system restore. I restored it back to the date before all this happened and I now can get on the net... I don't know what the problem is. The last thing I want to do is totally re-install XP. Hate doing that.

Incase you've been wondering, YEP I'm OK, thanks to everyone who e-mailed me. Incase you have no idea what I'm talking about - I'm talking about Cyclone Larry that hit in Queensland. I'm in Victoria. Queensland is north-east Australia, Victoria is south-east. We were no where near it. Australia's sugar industry AND the Banana industry has been totally ruined. This morning Banana's were about $6 a kg and are looking to increase in price. About 90% of the banana industry has gone. They say it will take a good 12-18 months for these two industries to fully recover.

If you want to find out more about what's going on click here

Commonwealth Games Tribute

Even though this blog is about my experiences about being Aussie, most people would know the Commonwealth Games is on as I write this. I'm not going to waste my time explaining who's winning, the medal tally or anything like that. If you want that information, go Google it. The purpose of this post is to bring a tribute to one of Australia's favourite Commonwealth Games volunteer, Sharon Stryzlecky.

You may know Sharon from the TV show "Kath & Kim" as that sports nut. Sharon tried out to be an official 2006 Melbourne Commonwealth Games Official Volunteer. Unsuccessfully she didn't make it.

"I'm an Official Commonwealth Games Volunteer"

"Cheer up Kimmy, Remember: Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi"

"I will sing the national anthem:
Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free
With golden soil and... la la la
dee laa laa dee dee dee....
... For the Land of the free
And the Home of the Brave"

Big Band Version of the Australian National Anthem

The 'Special Guest' Competition Winner is....

Ok, we have a winner.... I have pulled a name out of my hat and the winner is....... *Drumroll Please*......

By the time you read this, you would have recieved an email notifying you of the 30 Crikey Credits deposited into your Blog Explosion Account


Due to popular demand, I will be running this competition again for next week's special guest so Watch This Space!

Look What I Got

| 2 Comment(s)

My friend came back from holidays and look what he got me. It's a DVD rewinder. Pretty neat huh? Now I don't have to worry about rewinding my DVD's. Thank God, about time I was sick of sitting there waiting for them to rewind now I can be doing other stuff.

I've tried rewinding CD's and it works just as well.

Post #295: Competition Reminders

Want to win some Crikey Credits from yours truly? Well you've come to the right place. I run regular competitions here on my blog. Just see below how to win.

Celebrate and Win:
Wow can you believe it? This is post 295. I have 5 more posts to go until I reach 300! This also means while I'm out partying, you have the chance to win 30 Crikey Credits fanks to Blog Explosion. All you have to do is on Post #300 be the first to put the answer to my question along with your B.E username. Click here and find out how to enter.

The Quiz:
You can win 30 credits from me for simply trying my quiz. Just be the first to get all 10 questions worth 10 points each right, and the 30 big ones is yours. The top score is currently 80 points = 8 Right. To make it easier you can cheat all you like. Click here to find out more.

The Special Guest Comp:
Time is running out to enter my Special Guest Comp. This Competition closes tomorrow Aussie time so hurry up and enter. The winner will be randomly selected from all the entries. All you have to do is take a trip over to this weeks special guest ROB IN CHINA's Blog. Click here to enter the comp.

The 'Am I Nice or What' Comp:
Because I'm a nice guy I am giving away my credits to anyone I want at any time just for leaving a comment. Isn't that nice of me? Yep, you can enter as many times as you want. Click here for full details.

For the latest competitions, visit the "Win Crikey Credits" section on the right

Good Luck!

The Commonwealth Games is here

Wow, The Commonwealth Games are here. I'm looking outside as I write this and its kind of raining and its not. I don't think the clouds can make up its mind. Honestly I don't care if it rains or not on their parade because I'm not there at the opening ceremony.

The games are here in Melbourne this year. Being in Australia has given me time to think of a bunch of ideas for real Aussie events.

  • Carrying a grand piano down 15 flights of stairs by themselves
  • Wrestle an elephant to the ground with your bare hands
  • Pull a concrete truck by themselves
  • Do what spiderman done and become part of a rail and let a train drive over you.
  • Fight with your identical twin brother who weighs the same and looks the same as you(AKA Bizaro Superman)
  • Pick up a frozen lake iceblock and throw it onto a fire (AKA Superman)
  • Smash 200 coconuts with your head.
  • Demolish a 2 story house with your hands
  • Give 10 500 pound people a piggy back ride at the same time
  • Swim in a pond with Croc's
  • Swim with a crown of thorns down the spedo's
  • Skulling cans of drink
  • Burping competitions

I might aproach the commonwealth games organising commitee

Whats your ideas?

The Special Guest Comp.

How would you like to win 30 credits? Pretty good huh?

I thought I'd run a competition.

All you have to do is take a trip over to this weeks special guest ROB IN CHINA's Blog, copy and sentence from anywhere on his blog paste it below in the comments along with your Blog Explosion Username and you're automatically entered into the draw to win 30 big ones.

On Friday sometime (Yep, Australian Time - We're about 16 hours infront of the U.S), I will randomly draw the winner and announce it on this Blog and the winner will recieve an email notifying that the credits have been given to their account. Make sure you get your entries in early. Make sure that the sentence you copy and paste here is not the same as anyone elses.


South Africa Wins The Greatest Game - And beats Australia

49.5 overs South Africa 438 for 9 (Gibbs 175, Smith 90, Boucher 50*) beat Australia 434 for 4 (Ponting 164, Hussey 81, Katich 79) by one wicket

Herschelle Gibbs, arms aloft, celebrates his hundred. He was finally dismissed for 175

Seven years ago, in the semi-final of the 1999 World Cup, South Africa and Australia contested what has widely come to be regarded as the definitive one-day international. A total of 426 runs in two innings, twenty wickets in the day and world-class performances across the board - a match that built to a pulsating finale in which South Africa threw away their place in the World Cup final with what also came to be regarded as the definitive one-day choke.

Today, however, South Africa can be called chokers no longer, after burying the ghosts of 1999 with victory in a match even more extraordinary and nail-shredding than its illustrious forebear. Never mind 426 runs in a day, Australia had just posted a world-record 434 for 4 in a single innings - the first 400-plus total in the history of the game - with Ricky Ponting leading the line with an innings of cultured slogging that realised 164 runs of the highest class from just 105 balls. And yet they still lost - by one wicket, with one ball to spare, and with the Wanderers stadium reverting to the sort of Bullring atmosphere on which it forged its intimidating reputation.

At the halfway mark of the day, South Africa had been reduced to a near laughing stock. Ponting had been the kingpin as he reprised his World Cup-winning innings on this very ground in 2003, but every one of Australia's batsmen had taken their pound of flesh as well. Adam Gilchrist lit the blue touchpaper with an open-shouldered onslaught that realised 55 runs from 44 balls; Simon Katich provided a sheet-anchor with a difference as he creamed nine fours and a six in a 90-ball 79, and Mike Hussey - in theory Ponting's second fiddle in their 158-run stand for the third wicket - hurtled to a 51-ball 81. Australia's dominance seemed so complete that Andrew Symonds, the most notorious one-day wrecker in their ranks, was not even called upon until the scoreboard read a somewhat surreal 374 for 3.

Unsurprisingly, South Africa's bowlers took a universal pounding. Jacques Kallis disappeared for 70 runs in six overs and as the innings reached its crescendo, a flustered Roger Telemachus conceded 19 runs from four consecutive no-balls. The team had squandered a 2-0 series lead and were staring at a 3-2 defeat, and not for the first time this year, Graeme Smith's penchant for speaking his mind was looking like backfiring. With the Test series getting underway in four days' time, the need for a performance of pride had never been more urgent.

And so Smith took it upon himself to deliver, responding to his team's indignity with a brutal innings laced with fury. He made light of the early loss of Boeta Dippenaar, whose anchorman approach would not have been suited to the chase at any rate, and instead found the perfect ally in his former opening partner, Herschelle Gibbs. On a pitch that might have been sent from the Gods, the pair launched South Africa's response with a scathing stand of 187 from 121 balls, to send the first frissons of anxiety through the Australian dressing-room.

Smith made 90 from just 55 balls, and seemed set to trump Ponting's 71-ball century when he swatted the spinner, Michael Clarke, to Mike Hussey on the midwicket boundary. But Hussey's celebrations were manic and betrayed the creeping sense of foreboding that had taken hold of Australia's players. Just as South Africa had suffered for the absence of Shaun Pollock, so too was Glenn McGrath's constricting influence being missed. His understudies were simply not up to the task, with Mick Lewis earning an unwanted place in history as his ten overs were spanked for 113 runs - the most expensive analysis in any form of one-day international cricket.

Now it was Gibbs who took centre stage. The man who, memorably, dropped the World Cup at Headingley in that 1999 campaign has redeemed himself a hundred times over in the intervening years. But this was to be his crowning glory. With AB de Villiers providing a sparky sidekick, Gibbs carved great chunks out of the asking-rate, bringing up his century from 79 balls and rattling along so briskly that, by the 25-over mark, South Africa had 229 for 2 on the board, and needed a mere 206 to win.

Only one contest could compare - the extraordinary C&G Trophy contest between Surrey and Glamorgan in 2002, when Alistair Brown scored 268 out of a total of 438 for 5, only for Glamorgan to track his side all the way with a reply of 429. In both instances, the sheer impossibility of the task galvanised the batting and turned the fielders' legs to jelly, and with Gibbs on 130, Nathan Bracken at mid-off dropped a sitter off a Lewis full-toss, and could only contemplate his navel as the Bullring roared its approval.

It was undeniably the decisive moment of the match. Bracken finished with a creditable 5 for 67, but this faux pas was written all across his features at the post-match presentations. Cashing in superbly, Gibbs hurtled to his 150 from exactly 100 balls, bringing up the landmark with his fifth six of the innings and the 21st of a bedlamic contest. He had reached a glorious 175 from 111 when Lee held onto a scuffed drive at mid-off. The stadium stood in acclaim, but with 136 runs still required and their main source of momentum gone, South Africa had plenty still to do.

Kallis and Mark Boucher regrouped with a steady partnership of 28 in six overs, but when the big-hitting Justin Kemp went cheaply, it took a blistering intervention from Johan van der Wath to reignite the chase. He drilled Lewis over long-off for two sixes in an over then added a six and a four in Bracken's eighth, as the requirement dropped from a tricky 77 from 42 balls to a gettable 36 from 22. He perished as he had lived, holing out to extra cover, and Telemachus followed soon afterwards, but not before he had clubbed an invaluable 12 from six balls.

And so it all came down to the final over, just as it had done at Edgbaston all those years ago. Brett Lee had seven runs to defend, and South Africa had two wickets in hand. A blazed four from Andrew Hall seemed to have settled the issue, but in a moment reminiscent of Lance Klusener's famous aberration, he smeared the very next delivery into the hands of Clarke at mid-on. Two runs needed then, and the No. 11, Makhaya Ntini, on strike. Lee's best effort was deflected to third man to tie the scores, and it was left to Boucher - with visions of Edgbaston swirling through his head - to seal the deal with a lofted four over mid-on.

The most breathtaking game in one-day history had come to a grandstand finish, and all that remained was for the participants to pinch themselves.

How they were out

Adam Gilchrist c Hall b Telemachus 55 (97 for 1)Incredible tumbling catch, scooped one-handed off turf at mid-on
Simon Katich c Telemachus b Ntini 79 (216 for 2)Uppercut to third man
Mike Hussey c Ntini b Hall 81 (374 for 3)Full toss swatted to long-on
Ricky Ponting c Dippenaar b Telemachus 164 (407 for 4)Blazing cover-drive plucked above head on boundary

South Africa
Boeta Dippenaar b Bracken 1 (3 for 1)Dragged onto off stump
Graeme Smith c Hussey b Clarke 90 (190 for 2)Swatted to deep midwicket
AB de Villiers c Clarke b Bracken 14 (284 for 3)Heaved to cow corner
Herschelle Gibbs c Lee b Symonds 175 (299 for 4)Chipped drive to long-off
Jacques Kallis c&b Symonds 20 (327 for 5)Diving return catch off firm drive
Justin Kemp c Martyn b Bracken 13 (355 for 6)Toe-ended wide delivery to backward point
Johan van der Wath c Ponting b Bracken 35 (399 for 7)Holed out to extra cover
Roger Telemachus c Hussey b Bracken 12 (423 for 8)Spooned drive, brilliant sprawling catch
Andrew Hall c Clarke b Lee 7 (433 for 9)Slap to mid-on

To rig or not to rig

Ok, lets get one thing straight. Plusultra and I didn't rig each others games. Just because I visited his blog, tried the game and got 100 perfect points don't mean it was rigged. All I done was put myself in his shoes and I thought "What would plusultra do?". Actually the toughest question was the one about the shoutbox and what he done. I just went for the most craziest answer. Thats all, the rest of the answers were obviously on his blog anyway.

But here's the deal, with the quiz here on my blog there's no catch. When I launched the comp I did say you could cheat. Cheat means cheat, you know that thing that the teachers wouldn't let you do in school? Infact if you're still not clear what I mean by cheat let me go to and show you what it means

  1. To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
  2. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: was accused of cheating at cards.

I'm not going to tell you how because thats crazy. Use your imagination!

There you go, you can violate the rules delierately. The 2 rules I had was: that you couldn't enter more than once, and that you had to put your username where you enter your name with an astericks next to it, eg: planetmike*. The star actually shows me that you're a B.E member and I need your B.E username so I know who to give the credits to - thats if you value 30 credits.

Remember, the first person to score a perfect 100 by getting all 10 questions correct wins 30 crikey blog explosion credits.


Celebrate 300 posts with me and win!

This is exciting, wouldn't you believe it, I'm almost at 300 posts. This is post #289.

To celebrate 300 posts I will be giving away 30 Blog Explosion Credits. Cool huh?

But there's a catch! All you have to do is be the first to leave the answer to this following question along with your B.E username on post #300!

Q: On March 29, 2005 what instrument did Mike play??

The answer is somewhere on this blog. Keep coming back here to see when I reach post #300.


Only 1 rule: I won't accept the answer before post #300.

Labour Day or Bogan Day

I came home from church just now thinking that I've got work tomorrow but then I remembered that tomorrow is Labour Day - A long weekend. What is that? Is this a day where women celebrate the day when they went in labour? Is it celebrating the Labour Party? Why do we need to celebrate a long weekend when we don't know what we're celebrating? If it was really important, wouldn't they have a parade and atleast some fireworks or sparklers.

I think Aussies just find an excuse to have a long weekend. I would love to celebrate my own long weekend with a public holiday by celebrating "Bogan Day". This would consist of a parade with guys with Attire with Shirt that is usually flannel in nature or promoting bands such as MetallicA, PanterA, AC/DC, Sepultura, Iron Maiden or Megadeth. WIth their hair grown long cut into a mullet. In this parade early-model Holden or Ford cars would drive behind their owners.

The day could be spent watching AFL Football with a BBQ lunch. They could also give out free tickets to the football for anyone with any of these names:

  • gazza
  • wayne
  • kevins
  • hazza
  • shez
  • barry/bazza

Anyone reading this that wants to actually help me get this idea off the ground, please get in contact with me by leaving a comment below.

Aussie Word of the Moment: 'Bogan'

Bogan (pronounced BOE-gn, to rhyme with 'slogan') is a derogatory and slang term in Australia and New Zealand for a white working-class person, particularly a young male. Female adherents of the stereotype do exist, albeit with somewhat different, gender-specific characteristics.

Any discussion of the meaning of the term is likely to be controversial. Australians tend to have an image of their country as culturally egalitarian; by contrast, Britain and the United States are often stereotyped in Australia as obsessed with cultural and economic class respectively. The presence of an insulting stereotype for poor people is obviously in conflict with this self-image.
Like the British term chav and the American term white trash, the term is supposedly based on behaviour rather than class alone. It may be contrasted to the term 'povvo', which assumes that poverty as such is worthy of insult.

A person who uses the insult may draw a distinction between bogans, and more 'respectable' working class people.

However, only people who are perceived to be working class are called bogans. A person from a comfortable background who is violent, anti-social and unintelligent may well be derided and insulted, but not by being called a bogan. They may be told they are acting like a bogan, but not that they actually are one.

Further, the stereotype assumes a correlation between subcultural practices of particular working-class people (eg style of dress, accent, and musical tastes), and anti-social behaviour. It should thus be considered a slur.

The term, and the attendant stereotype, are far more acceptable in Australian culture than equivalent slurs. A person who used the term in the media, for example, would be unlikely to face similar consequences to if they had used a term such as nigger or kike. The popular Australian TV comedy Kath and Kim derived much of its humour from this stereotype. A TV comedy based on equivalent stereotypes of Aboriginal people, for example, would have been highly unlikely to be aired.


The use of the word "bogan" as an insult originated in Melbourne, to describe people of the working class. Then the character Kylie Mole on the famed Australian television program The Comedy Company popularised the term as an insult for any friend she didn't like, and by 1991, the word was in the national dictionary project.

There are actually places in Western New South Wales that have "Bogan" in their name, including Bogan Shire, the Bogan River and the rural village of Bogan Gate. Despite the fact that their remote location fits some of the aspects of the stereotype, these places are not regarded as the source of the term. It is more likely that the sound of the word fits the humourous aspects of the stereotype rather than the people of this area being the epitome of bogans.

Elements of the Stereotype

The stereotype of a bogan is essentially the same as the British stereotype of a chav or the American white trash, with some specific Australian cultural features.

  • The stereotype may be summarised as follows:
  • white poor, particularly on the dole and/or living in public housing.
  • driving an old, Australian car such as a Commodore, particulary the highly prized artefact the VK or VL model.- or Falcon, and highly interested in cars. The term 'hoon' is similar to bogan, but particularly applies to young men who are interested in cars and drive in an anti-social manner.
  • interested in sport, particularly Australian Rules or Rugby League football, depending on which code is dominant in their area.
  • violent, anti-social, possibly criminal.
  • unintelligent, uneducated, anti-intellectual - more specifically, racist and homophobic.
  • culturally blue-collar: having the 'broad' Australian accent associated with poorer and rural white people.
  • Uses traditionally working class dialect terms. For example, a person may be derided for using 'youse' (plural form of 'you'), the distinctive pronunciation of 'nothing', 'something', and 'anything' ending with a hard 'k' sound, and pronouncing the name of the letter 'h' as 'haitch'. An excellent example of this being satirised is by the Melbourne-based comedian, Greg Fleet:"Is there sumpfink wrong wiff you mate?"
  • sexually immoral. This stereotype is particularly applied to women and girls, and is particularly associated with being a single mother.
  • a heavy drinker of pre-mixed bourbon and cola cans such as Woodstock & Cougar. A typical drink at a public bar would be a bourbon and coke, or bundy and coke ("bogan juice").
  • pretentious, vain, materialistic, ignorant, tasteless. The basic idea of this aspect of the stereotype is that the bogan attempts to imitate desirable characteristics of 'normal', wealthier people and fails due to their own ignorance. For example: giving their children supposedly 'classy' but actually ridiculous non-standard names such as Dakota or Mercedes; wearing designer labels yet still appearing ludicrous; having a comically fake tan in an effort to resemble a member of the jet-set.

There is a detailed stereotype of what bogans wear, which includes Moccasin-style slippers, ugg boots, tight black jeans, singlets, flannelette shirts (or black jerseys and jeans in Waitakere/West Auckland) and prominent tattoos, short, tight 'footy shorts', blue singlets and thongs/jandals (the footwear Americans call 'flip-flops', not the underwear) and sunnies. This can also include tracksuit pants in the case of younger male bogans, primarily due to their cheap price.

There is a similarly detailed stereotype related to music, based around metal and Australian 'pub rock' - for example Cold Chisel, particularly their song Khe Sanh, and AC/DC. The drunk young man who loudly demands that a band 'play some Barnesy', or 'play Khe Sanh', regardless of the band's style, is a recognisable element of the stereotype.

The clothing and music elements of the stereotype were genuinely associated with a particular stratum of working class people at one time. However, the stereotype has lingered far longer than the reality which inspired it, as young working class people tend more towards an interest in hip-hop influenced fashion and music, and as metal and hard rock become associated with more the affluent 'alternative' subculture.
The bogan stereotype has no implication of religious fundamentalism, unlike the American equivalent white trash.


The stereotype of a bogan is closely associated with location as the perception is that bogans live in the outer suburbs of metropolitan areas or in rural areas.
The term 'westie', referring to the generally poorer western suburbs of Melbourne and Sydney, and to West Auckland in New Zealand, is an equivalent term to bogan. This term was even used in Canberra, where there is no distinction between poorer western and more affluent eastern suburbs.

Applied to Celebrities

Some celebrities have been associated with the stereotype: essentially white males who are seen as working-class, particularly if they are accused of anti-social behaviour.
Examples include

Foreign celebrities with a similar public image are often associated with the equivalent stereotypes in their countries - for example

Renter of the week

| 1 Comment(s)

The Crikey Files has a new renter. Say G'day to Rob In China. Rob will be with me for a week so be nice everyone. Do me a favour and check out his wacky weblog: WEIRD NEWS FROM CHINA.

He says:

I report those weird, wacky, odd, and strange news stories that don't get much mainstream coverage and then I add my own special photos to them
I write this blog as an American Entrepreneur that is on the ground in China, making contacts, making mistakes and hopefully soon, making some money!
I update this site throughout the day, everyday, with the latest odd stories from the Chinese News Press from Beijing to Shanghai to Hong Kong and all across Mainland China. Make sure you bookmark this page and try not to fall behind, lol!
Doing business in China is the future!
Oh man, it's like the wild, wild, west out here, it's like the old gold rush days! and I'm gonna get me some!

Crikey Credits Winner #3: kathiemt

WOOOHOOO, We got winner #3 of Mike's Crikey credits from Blog Explosion *Drum roll* Congratulations to: kathiemt She wins 10 Credits.... Am I nice or what?

Here's her comment:

Recently my husband and I were overseas with a daughter. We've lived in
Melbourne for 15 years now but it wasn't until we returned home from overseas
that I saw Melbourne again with tourist's eyes - I haven't seen it that way for
many years. It was good to see your photos of my home town - again with
tourist's eyes. Good to see a fellow Aussie and Christian at BE.


You can be a winner like kathiemt, Just leave a comment along with your B.E username - its that easy!! Click Here for the full rules! If you don't win, don't take it to heart, keep trying!

Try My Quiz and Win Credits

Ok, I'm feeling generous.
How would you like to win 30 Crikey Credits from Blog Explosion? It's easy. All you have to do is have a go at my "Planet Mike Genius Test". The winner of the credits is the person with the highest score!

This is a quiz to see how much you know about me. What I like, what I don't, etc. Some of the answers are already on this site and other links related to me so study up. Yep you can even cheat anyway you can to get it. There are 10 multiple choice questions.

Click your mouse (Or touchpad for laptop users like yours trully) HERE
The first person to score a perfect 100 points wins the 30 credits

Now For The Rules:

  1. You can only enter once, if there are multiple entries by the same username then I take the lowest score.
  2. Where it says "ENTER YOUR NAME:" Followed by an asterix ( * ) after it. This must be your B.E Username otherwise I can't forward the credits to you. The asterix shows me that this is B.E Members. e.g: planetmike* and not just regular people.
  3. Cheating is allowed - yes thats right!! You can get your answers anyway you want.
  4. The first person to score 100 points wins

Did you forget something?

I wish I didn't have to write this but its serves as a reminder to everyone who wants "Crikey Credits" from Blog Explosion. The most important thing to remember is DON'T FORGET YOUR B.E USER NAME!

You got to read the fine print - Click here for the fine print

Crikey Credits Winner #2: ubiestLuka

We got winner #2 of Mike's Crikey credits from Blog Explosion *Drum roll* Congratulations to: ubiestLuka He wins 15 Credits.... Am I nice or what? Here's herhis comment:

saw your post on the BE forums - you know the one - the one about commenting for
credits. i'm ubiestLuka.:-)dude. this picture is too funny. they're still all
dorks though. even with all the money :-) it's great!

You can be a winner like ubiestLuka, Just leave a comment along with your B.E username - its that easy!! Click Here for the full rules! If you don't win, don't take it to heart, keep trying!

Caption This...

Here is a photo of Microsoft back in 1978. It looks like Dooby Brothers album cover or a ZZ Top album cover. I can't believe all these guys became billionaires. An unknown guy by the name of Bill Gates is at the bottom left corner - I don't know who that is.

Put a Caption for photo in the comments box below.

For God So Loved

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I will never forget the first time I saw The Passion of the Christ. It was the most horrific account I have seen of Jesus death and suffering. But through it all I still can't help but think it would've still been more worse even though it looked real.

Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane and He knew that His time had come. Jesus would've done anything ANYTHING at all to escape what was about to happen. But Jesus looked down the corridor of time and saw you and me without a future and hope that's why He went to the cross. No words and no movie could accurately portrait the agony and suffering Jesus was feeling in the garden. His closest friends: the disciples who had been with Him for 3 years had fallen asleep. There was no one, no one at all there to comfort Him except the Father. But the thing that amazes me the most is what Jesus said minutes before the soldiers came to arrest Him. "Yet not my will, but Yours". Jesus had just submitted to the father His will and ultimately His destiny. He saw what was to come. He saw that all sickness and pain and ultimately death would be destroyed forever. And after all this, Jesus so Loved you and I.

Then the soldiers came. Its about to happen, everything that was prophesied about Jesus death and resurrection was about to come to pass. Judas the thief, but still one of Jesus friends betrayed Him with a kiss. Judas had see all the miracles that Jesus had done. He saw compassion ooze out of Him. He had heard Jesus speak about loving one another. He knew Jesus was different from everyone else. So why did He betray him with a kiss? didn'tit didn't stop there. Petedidn'till didn't understand what was about to take place and how this event would change humanity forever. He grabbed a sword and cut the ear off a soldier. How can Jesus still love Judas after being betrayed? How can he go over to the soldier and restore His ear? What was going on in that soldiers mind? But after all this Jesus so loved you and I.

Lets fast forward to a courtyard. Here is the place where Jesus was about to take mine and your sicknesses. Isaiah prophesied this time was coming and now it was here. He said "By your stripes You were healed. What were the stripes? The stripes came when Jesus was whipped for you and I. He could've opened His mouth. He could've been released. Everything inside of Him was saying to not go through with it. The whips were not just normal whips. These were specially made to punish criminals. They had bits of metal and other sharp objects interwoven into them. Jesus was given the death of a criminal and the highest number of whips was 39. Some Christian theologians say that each strip represents a sickness or disease ever created by the enemy. The soldier who was whipping was well trained and did not hold back one bit and proceeded to tear to shredÂ’s our saviours back. Why? Because Jesus so loved you and I.

After the torture, the soldiers humiliated and mocked Jesus by placing a crown of thorns on his head. Yes He was the King of Kings. But there's nothing more worse and humiliating than being stripped naked and then having a purple cloak around you and a crown of thorns pushed into your skull while being mocked. Why did it happen? Because He so loved you and I.

Now Jesus was sentenced to death, He was to carry a wooden coarse cross up to the mountain of Golgotha. Golgotha means "The place of the skull". Where is all our trials taken place? Where are we tempted most? In our minds. So why was Jesus crucified at Golgotha? To give us victory over our minds! As he was walking up the mountain exhausted and half dead, He looked up and saw the cross in the distance, the final place of victory. This was the place that He had dreaded. But it began.

Jesus thought "This is how much I love the worl". And His left hand was nailed into the cross. "Do you see how much I love You?" He thought, and with the belt of the hammer Jesus hands was nailed to the cross. But there was more. "I want you to walk with me" He thought "I will hold you, I will help you, I am your comforter, your shield, I am your everything, so walk with me" and with the last blow of the hammer, Jesus feet were nailed into the wood. The crowd began to mock and laugh as the cross was raised up. The weight of His body was crushing his lungs, Most of his bones in his arms and shoulders were broken. The only way he could breathe was to pull himself up and take a deep breath and allow His bloody back to scrape the cross. And with a breath He cried "Forgive them father, they don't know what they are doing". Why? Because Jesus so Loved you and I.

All of a sudden the sky turned black. What was happening? All the sin of the world from past, to present, to future generations had now been placed on the cross and the worst thing that could ever happen was now taking place. The father turned His back on His only precious son. Jesus was now forsaken and all alone. He cried to His heavenly Dad "My God, My God, Why have You forsaken me?" There was no-one. God the father had turned away his back on His Son and separated Himself from Jesus. The full effects of sin was now taking place. There was no-one there. There was no-one to tell Jesus that they were sorry. There was no-one to tell Jesus that it was going to be alright. He was alone. Why did Jesus let it happen? Because He so Loved you and I.

One final thing had to be done. With one last breath Jesus said "Into Your hands, I commit my Spirit" and died. Early Sunday morning in a lowly cave, there was a loud noise. It was the sound of a boulder supernaturally being moved from the entrance of the cave where Jesus was. But He was no longer dead, He was alive. He had conquered death and sin. All things were now under his feet. Why did Jesus go through all of this? Because He so Loved you and I.

Why did I write this account? Its because God hates sin. Our sin has put Jesus on the cross. Our sin forced Him to have his back scourged. Our sin caused the nails to go into his hands and his feet. Our sin have caused Jesus to hang on the cross. Without Jesus death we couldn't have life more abundant (John 10:10).

Put your faith and hope in Jesus. Whatever you are going through trust in Him! (John 3:16).

*The cross painting is Copyright by our Pastor, Judith Davis... click here to visit my church

Mike's Tour of Melbourne

Here is my Tour of Melbourne. Check out some sights and sounds. Melbourne is the capital of Victoria Australia.
This guy playing the slide guitar I thought was aussie because he was playing "Waltzing Matilda" and wearing the acubra hat and He looked up and I realised he was asian. This old guy was dancing (Sort of).

This dude was playing an old honky tonk piano with a cigarette in his mouth. He took requests but I couldn't resist to get a photo with this guy after I threw 10 cents in the bucket.

We headed into a department store called Myers and we I decided to get and try out as a model. I think Mr Bean on my T-shirt was too.

This was taken as we crossed the bridge to go into Melbourne. That building in the middle with all the patterns and stuff is Federation Square. Its sort of like the Art Precinct of Melbourne.

Here is a photo of one of the Yarra River half way between the Vodaphone arena and Federation Square

Well I hope you enjoyed my tour of Melbourne

Fake Mike is back

I got some great news!
I've brought back "The Fake Mike Reality Blog". If you don't know what this is, here is a blog of stuff that would be real if I actually did it. Stuff like meeting the president and hanging out with Steve Urkel.
Click here for The Fake Mike Reality Blog

I've also started another blog called "Blog it like its Hoff" which is all related to The Hoff!
Click here to Blog it like its Hoff

Let me know what you think!

Where have I been?

I have no idea what happened.... As you can tell there has been a huge break between entries. I've just woken up, I missed Christmas, New Years, and My Birthday. I don't even know what day it is, I thought it was still September until I switched on the news... Why didn't someone wake me up?

Stop! Blogging Time!

Guess what? (What Mike?)
Mc Hammer has his own Weblog
Check it out

Extreme Mike

Hey its a video staring Mike, X-Treme Mike

Thorpedo out of Commonwealth Games

I can't believe that The "Thorpedo" is out of the Commonwealth Games. Ian Thorpe is a champion and legend but is crook as a dog. I guess just the Uncle Toby's ads are right "Thorpey says they're fully sick!!" Hopefully this won't ruin our chances of making a clean sweep in the pool. If you don't know who Thorpedo is, where have you been? I could probably accept it if you were overseas but if you are from Australia then shame, shame, shame - you need serious help because you don't know your own Aussie Legends. Thats like Obi-Wan Kenobi not knowing who Yoda is...

Here's a news article

Ian Thorpe will not compete in the next week's Commonwealth Games in Melbourne due to illness, Swimming Australia head coach Alan Thompson announced today.

Thompson said Thorpe, 23, had succumbed to the bronchitis and viral infection that had been plaguing him for the past three weeks.

Craig Stevens has accepted Thorpe's position in the team, swimming the 400 metre freestyle and 1500 metre freestyle events.

"As everyone is aware now, I've struggled for the last three weeks to overcome my illness," Thorpe said.

"It has been a very trying time, a very difficult time."

"I hoped there would be a light at the end of the tunnel that would allow me to compete."

"It was difficult in terms of deciding not to compete but it was the only decision I could make, I had been struggling, I wanted to compete."

"As of yesterday, I realised the position I have on the team, that I will be of very little benefit to the team because I would be so far off my best."

Thorpe said in his current state he would not make the finals in any of the events in which he was scheduled to compete.

"I was so far off it, I was struggling to swim up and down, it was a natural conclusion that I am not with it. After training I spoke to Tracey and we made the decision."

Thorpe said he had started taking anti-biotics recently for bronchitis which he claimed was "too little too late".

"I have just been too run down."

Thorpe said he would look forward to watching the Australian team, and his replacement Craig Stevens, swim.

With Grant Hackett also out, Thorpe's expected withdrawal is a blow for the Australian swim team's chances at the meet.

This week, Thorpe has only been able to spend about half an hour in the pool at a time.

Thorpe said he was aiming to compete in the World Championships in December.

Stevens said he was grateful for the position in the team.

"I've been doing a lot of endurance training," Stevens said.

"You never can tell how things will work out."

Thorpe, Australia's most decorated Olympian, has been hit by a bout of bronchitis which has affected his training regime.

The five-time Olympic gold medallist was planning on the Commonwealth Games being his first major international meet since the 2004 Athens Olympics.

Thorpe was aiming to become Australia's most successful Commonwealth Games athlete.

Thorpe has won 10 Commonwealth Games medals, equal with Susie O'Neill, with the five-time Olympic gold medallist having won four gold medals at the 1998 Kuala Lumpur Games and six gold medals at the 2002 Manchester Games.

Thompson denied that Swimming Australia had selected Stevens to repay him for giving up his position to Thorpe in the Athens Olympics team after Australia's most decorated swimmer was disqualified during qualfying.

Thompson said the decision on who will replace Thorpe in the 100 metre and 200 metre freestyle events would be made in the next 48 hours.

Copyright © 2006 Seven Network (Operations) Ltd

First Winner of Crikey Credits

We got our first winner of Blog Explosion credits from Blog Explosion *Drum roll* Congratulations to:


He wins 10 Credits.... Aren't I nice or what?

Here's his comment:

By Crykey Mike giving away credits is like stickin your hand in a crocodiles mouth! Crazy. I would bribe you with M + M's or even Reeses Pieces. How about some Lucky Charms Cereal? Whatever it takes. I think you should give me credits because I am the first to comment on this post and If you do I will tell everybody about what a great guy you are on my site! Thanks Mate Your site is like shrimp on the barbie,and a glass of Foster's Beer! MMMM.... beer...
You can be a winner like Plusultra, Just leave a comment!!
Click Here for the full rules!

If you don't win, don't take it to heart, keep trying!

Am I nice or what?

Getting traffic can be a pain in the butt. I understand that. I am a part of Blog Explosion. If you want to boost your traffic click here

If that's not enough, because I'm a nice guy I am giving away my credits to anyone I want at any time. Isn't that nice of me? But there's a catch. There's 2 ways of getting credits from me.
  1. Leave a comment on my blog at any of the posts I make (Don't forget to leave your Blog Explosion username or you won't be getting anything).
  2. Leave a comment below and plea your case about why you deserve credits (Go on, be creative). I can understand that there is going to be some serious sucking up here and that's ok. Any threats of violence will guarantee that you won't ever get credits from me from now or in the near future. Yep, you can even enter as many times as you want

Winners maybe notified with a special comment from me in their weblog.

Ok, that's all you have to do.

Now the fine print:

1. Any threats of violence don't work

2. Bribes may work, even with M&M's

3. I choose who I give the credits to, when, where, and how much.

4. Just because you leave a comment doesn't automatically entitle you to my credits (See #3)

5. Credits are transferred with Blog Explosion's Transfer credit feature. I don't sell them through sites such as Paypal or E-bay as this will see my account suspended.

6. Sucking up to me is allowed.

7. The amount of credits given will be anywhere between 10 and 500. Just because I give you 10 and not 100 don't mean I don't like you or anything. It just means that I probably don't have any credits left to give.

8. I can change these rules at anytime without notice.

9. My decision is final.

10. You can enter as many times as you want

11. Be thankful that I'm actually giving my credits away

12. Don't take it to heart that you don't get any

13. I don't have to explain why I gave that amount or why I didn't give you credits

14. MOST IMPORTANTLY: You MUST include your Blog Explosion username so I know who to transfer my credits to. Make sure it's correct before publishing your comments or you won't be getting anything - hey as I said before, I need your username. Put something like "MY B.E USERNAME: name" at the end of your post is prefered (where it says name is where you put your username). My B.E username is 'planetmike'. You will be notified via email that you've won credits as Blog Explosion notifies people when they have recieved credits.

The Popularity of Planet Mike

Have you visited Planet Mike yet? You don't know what you're missing
Check out the popularity of my website!

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The Amazing Race 9: Teams Unveiled

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The Amazing Race teams have been unveiled... Here they are!
From left to right:
BJ & Tyler (age 26/25) - Best Friends
Quick bio: BJ is a Harvard grad, Tyler fell in love with a Japanese woman and tried to impress her by walking the entire length of Japan.
Who they remind me of / look like: A couple of bogans
John & Scott (41/38) - Life-long Friends
Quick bio: John has a (eek!) fear of flying... take road trips to... hmmm... Provincetown?
Who they remind me of / look like: Part of a two part boy band
Ray & Yolanda (31/27) - Dating
Quick bio: Yolanda ran track for Univ. of Florida, Ray is an attorney, self-described as stubborn and opinionated
Who they remind me of / look like: OJ Simpson and his wife
Joseph & Monica (23/23) - Dating
Quick bio: Ummm, not a lot.. They're Southerners
Who they remind me of / look like: Barbie & Ken

From left to right:
Wanda & Desiree (44/24) - Mother/Daughter
Quick bio: Wanda is fluent in Spanish, Desiree says mom tends to be overprotective
Who they remind me of / look like: They are the stereotypical psychotic mother and daughter team they have on every season
Lake & Michelle (37/36) - Married Parents
Quick bio: Laid-back Michelle notes Lake is a classic "Type A" personality and hopes he won't cause friction during the Race
Who they remind me of / look like: Your typical groovy youth pastors
Fran & Barry (61/63) - Retirees/Married 40 Years
Quick bio: Enjoy "adventure travel" though Fran once refused to bungee jump in New Zealand... tho she has sky-dived.
Who they remind me of / look like: Any of the older couples, but they sound like the edgiest/fittest senior set yet!
Eric & Jeremy (27/26) - Friends
Quick bio: Met while running college track, self-described as cocky, competitive, and strong athletes
Who they remind me of / look like: These are the the pretty boys of the show
Left, Up, & Down (sorry the individual team page wasn't working for these last 2 teams... so squint):
David & Lori (30/25) - Dating
Quick bio: Lori would like to get married, David would like to get his career off the ground
Who they remind me of / look like: A Couple of Nerds
Danielle & Dani (22/22) - Childhood Friends
Quick bio: Outgoing/Talkative, not much travel experience, big boobs
Who they remind me of / look like: If Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson were on the Simple Life together, this would be it
Lisa & Joni (48/44) - Sisters
Quick bio: Loud & rambunctious, they are both over 6 feet tall... would use their winnings for some plastic surgery
Who they remind me of / look like: Those anoying infomercial ladies on late night TV
And yes, the show is back to being a "race around the world"... contestants will hit all 5 continents this season!
Watch 'The Crikey Files' for my reviews of each episode

Bad Taste

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Our Youth program is running a Bad Taste night on April 8. As the name suggests that is our theme. All things bad taste, this includes what we wear. Last time we ran the night I was dressed in what I'm sure belonged to my dad when he was dating my mum back in the early 70's as I was wearing a purple/pink suit. To give you an idea of how bad this suit was, I kind of looked like The Joker's (on Batman) half gay cousin - Just check the photo out and you'll see what I mean. No I'm not using this as a platform for me to come out of the closet, I don't even own a closet!

Keeping with the theme of bad taste all the tunes playing was all 80's stuff - you know the music that you would never get caught listening to but in secret you actually like it? Stuff like Vanilla Ice and New Kids On The Block. We also had a 'walk off', like what they done on Zoolander. The scariest part about this is that most of the kids will now have no idea who Vanilla Ice or New Kids on the Block.

About this photo. The other guy here is a friend of mine who for security purposes I will call 'Steve' (Because that's his real name). See that facial hair? 'Steve' sacrificed his sons teddy bear and used the lining to make sideburns, the moustache, goatee, and mono-brow. Sort of looks like that loud, alcoholic uncle that everyone has that always turns up to special events and seems to know everything.

Ok here's the deal... I have no idea what to go dressed as. If you've got an idea then I'd like to hear your response. Leave your idea in the comments below. I'm pretty much open to anything, so go ahead and make my day.

(Actually I am thinking of going as Napoleon Dynamite and get a couple of the youth to be other characters from the movie)

Lame Videos

If you look on the right you'll see a video clip playing. Here's your chance to see your favourite lame video to be played. Every week I will show a new clip

Leave Your Request in the comments below!

Tom Cruise is a Moron and a Half of Cadbury Dairy Milk

Tom Cruise is still a moron. If 'normal' person acted like he does then someone would open a can of woop ass on him including most Hells Angels. The problem is that just because he's a celebrity, somehow in the back of our minds we have to have respect for him.

Think about it, if you took away his fame and fortune and everything else and put him in an average neighbourhood - like yours, gave him an average car - like yours, and gave him an average job or no job - like yours, what would you have? Some complete moron and raving lunatic. If you have all these character traits and this guy actually moved next door to you wouldn't it be time to call the cops? Does society need more of these complete drop kicks?

There should be some community in the middle of the outback or the desert somewhere where moronic celebrities like our friend here stay permanently - sort of like Woomera detention centre.

That's my 2 cents for now.
Leave a comment!

V8 Stuff

I ended up buying the new V8 Supercar 3 for Xbox on Thursday and all I can say is that I'm really impressed with it. The graphics kick but and the game play is phenomonal coz its actually more realistic than I had hoped for. Heres a screen shot of Marcos Ambrose's car in the game

Secondly I just saw the photo of Russell Ingalls new weapon for 2006. The number 1 could have been placed more strategically like right across the bonnet but I guess you can't win them all. How cool does it look?

My Question is if every other team can atleast make an effort to make some changes for the 2006 season how come HRT can't? Here's 2 photos of Skaife's car. The one on the top is the 2005 livery, the one underneath that is the 2006 livery.

What the hells the difference? Wait, if you look carefully you can see some new Dodo signage on the car. Doesn't that telecomunications company already sponsor someone else? Maybe Skaifey is trying to tell us something! Honestly, do you think that this is going to help their chances?

Here is a photo I sometimes put on the desktop of my computer. It reminds me of the stupid move at Sandown how skaifey waited till the 2nd last lap to refuel.

This photo is the photo I took of Skaifey's car when I was at Sandown 2004, he clipped the wall and had to do a lap of shame before pitting in and getting some tape.

Well thats me for now.... Bring on Adelaide Clipsal 2006

Prove yourself worthy

Take the Planet Mike Intellegence Test now and prove yourself worthy!! 'Worthy of what?' I hear you ask. Who knows? The whole idea of a quiz is an awesome way to see if my friends really do actually know me anyway...

With 10 questions worth 10 points each, and your name goes on the scoreboard..

Click here to begin