What Would You Do?

Who loves the weekend fair! When driving to the fair my talkative cousin spoke for 3 hours on the way to the fair! The ticket to the fair was only $15.00 and since the hot air balloon ride was cheap we dropped off my talkative cousin to go on the balloon ride by her self. We could hear her from like 100 feet up loud and clear that this was too fun, she did not want it to end, and that she wanted to come back to the fair everyday during the month that it was in town......and she even placed an order for what she wanted for lunch! The balloon never came back.

Fake Mike

Here's a shameless plug: visit the Fake Mike Reality Tour... you see the link at the top. You can click it and it will magically take you there. So what is it? Its a fake blog of stuff that would happen to me if it was true. Check it out!

Who Farted?

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I've got a friend who has a bad gas problem. He was arrested after 50 people were knocked out. I got a photo of the security footage here:

Fill in the made up story!

Mike & Elena would like to see how creative you all are! Please complete the fake story in the most creative way you know!

Who loves the weekend fair! When driving to the fair my talkative cousin spoke for 3 hours on the way to the fair! The ticket to the fair was only $15.00 and since the hot air balloon ride was cheap we dropped off my talkative cousin to go on the balloon ride by her self. We could hear her from like 100 feet up loud and clear that this was too fun, she did not want it to end, and that she wanted to come back to the fair everyday during the month that it was in town......and she even placed an order for what she wanted for lunch! The balloon never came back so I.......

Who would win?

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This is Katie. Isn't she the cutest dog in the world? These photos was taken after she had a bath. I think she's pretending to be a Jedi. She is a pomeranian with no teeth.

Here is a news article I found:

The owner of a 10-pound "toy" dog was cited over the weekend when her dog attacked an 80-pound pit bull. Garry Laffredi was walking his 2-year-old pit bull Capone near his apartment complex Thursday when a neighbor's Pomeranian came running at them and attacked the dog. "[Capone's] not a bad guy. He's real friendly. He's people-friendly,'' Laffredi said. "He loves other dogs. [But] this little Pomeranian ran out and starts biting him on the foot." Pomeranians, which are classified as toy dogs by the American Kennel Club, can be as small as 3 pounds and resemble a fox in appearance, generally having a bushy orange coat and pointed ears.

Laffredi said the Pomeranian bit Capone's foot hard enough "to draw blood" and also managed to nick Capone on the top of the head as Laffredi tried to pull the pit bull away on a leash. 'They stand their ground' Eventually, Laffredi said, Capone "grabbed the dog and more or less set him off to the side" before the two dogs were separated. It was not the first time Laffredi had a run-in with the 10-pound dog. He was bit in the hand two weeks ago by the Pomeranian but chose not to report it, he said. Waukegan animal warden Tina Fragassi said she was not surprised when her office fielded the report about Thursday's attack. "They stand their ground, those little dogs," she said. The Pomeranian's owner described the incident as an unfortunate episode that she wanted to put behind her. She was cited with failure to prevent a dog bite, owning a dog running at large, not possessing a dog license and not having updated rabies shots. Each citation comes with a $25 fine, Fragassi said.

Ok, my question is. Out of my dog Katie and Capone, who would win a fight? My dog has no teeth but Capone is a woose.


Ok you decide!

This Weeks Special Guest Comp

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A big hola and greetings to this weeks special guest... Say hello to "Miss Weird One". She'll be here for the next week so be nice to her peoples! She has a twisted sense of humour like yours trully. There you'll find some weird, wacky and wonderful entries and photos. CHECK IT OUT!

How would you like to win 30 Blog Explosion Credits? All you have to do is visit this week's special guest, copy a sentence anywhere from her blog and paste it into the comments below. The winner will be randomly selected next week. 3 things to remember:

1. You can't copy and paste the same sentence as someone else.
2. You must leave your B.E username so I know who to give the credits to.
3. There must be no less than 30 entries or otherwise the comp will be null and void.

The winner will be announced next Wednesday night Melbourne time!

Good luck!

No Soup For You

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Yesterday I got screwed over. I guess everyone knows what its like once in a life time. This is probably the mother of them all. To protect them and myself I won't give any names but they know who they are. This post I wish I didn't have to write but I don't care if one of my clients see this as they deserve a post dedicated to them.

I sent off a purchase order to be paid for a job I had done for a client. Here's where it gets stupid. My client is disputing the amount of hours I have done. I don't lie when it comes to my job, I have my integrity. I do what I can for my clients to make sure that I get the job done and that everyone is happy. My client gets funding from a government organization. About 6 months ago it got cut back from weekly to monthly. The problem is that my client didn't tell me but decided for me to still turn up to help him with the computer stuff on a weekly basis. The weekly times kicked in September last year after he came out of hospital. I found out yesterday that it was suppose to be July. I sent a purchase order in February and wondered why I hadn't received $865. Now I am told that it will only be about $200. They have done nothing about trying to rectify the situation with me except letting my purchase order sit on their desk. Why give me a photo copy of my own purchase order???

I have nothing to stand on, everything has been right. And they are doubting my integrity. I have been thinking of some things I should do:

1. Tell them to stick the job because I'm not working with them anymore.
2. Fight for what I should be paid by taking them to court or getting a debt collector.
3. Continue to work with them and raise my price.

Anyone got any ideas??

If anyone is actually comparing my idea of integrity with a previous entry on impressing people, I draw the line between what I do socially and for my work.

Hello Everyone!

Thank you so much for the great welcome! Mike has really made a wonderful combination blog for both of us! I Love Him so very much!

I would like to say hello to all and pose the three questions of the day:
1. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
3. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Please let us know your thoughts on this, perhaps Mike will give B.E. points to the most creative answer!...Let us wait and see......and stay tuned for tomorrow's impossible questions!

New Format

Hi Peoples, I thought that I'd let everyone know that this blog has now got a new member! Introducing my girlfriend Elena. She will be posting here so be nice to her! There will be some small changes happening in the next couple of weeks ago on this blog so watch this space!

Leave a message in the comments below for her!

What Am I Thinking Right Now?

I was just looking at some of my previous posts I have written and I realised that most of them have something in common, they have the word 'crap' mentioned in it. Actually its my favourite word. It replaces pretty much every swear word ever created and you don't get into trouble. I don't even know why I'm writing a post about me saying crap.

Its 1:13am Saturday morning. I'm lucky that I don't have to work tomorrow. Night guy has just decided to do party. Why? Becuase he's Night Guy! Night Guy has no job, no worries, no cares, no life.... no nothing. The problem is that Day Guy does. Night Guy don't care if Day Guy has to work and pay bills, why? Coz he's Night Guy. Night Guy will actually make day guy do nothing all day - not even work. Night Guy couldn't care a less if Day Guy was fired because he slept in. Day guy and Night Guy are arch enemies - just like Lex Luthor is to Superman and Tom Cruise is to the rest of the world. Day guy is the guy that has a life. If Day Guy gets fired then he will kill Night Guy.

Baby Cruise

You know by now that Tom and Katie are happy little parents. Their new baby was delivered by L. Ron Hubbard, who returned from the grave for this special moment.

Special Guest Blogger

I'm on the lookout for a special guest blogger. If this is something that you would like to be involved with then leave your reason below in the comments.


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Last Thursday I saw the Newsboys in concert. About time they came back to Australia. All I can say is it was awesome! Here are some photos I took, the rest are in my photo album. The highlight was when Paul Colman, the guitarist on the left sang the Men At Work song "Down Under". Classic stuff! Hope we don't have to wait so long for them to return to Melbourne.

How To Impress People

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Here is my guide on how to impress people. Usually what I do is make up things. What things you may ask. Anything. For example, if people I know ask if I've been to a city I say YES. Or if they need to know if I have seen a particular movie I tell them YES. How do I get away with it? Easy, I rely on information I may have read or seen somewhere.

Here's a really good example. If someone asks me if I've seen the new King Kong movie and what I thought of it, I got 2 choices to make: Be with the other 6 Billion or so people on the planet and say It was Ok, or be in the 1% group who haven't seen it. Unfortunately I haven't seen it. Don't ask me why, I just haven't. Who wants to waste $15 and 3 hours of their life seeing the movie when they can be doing something better with their time? I've seen previews and previews and heard review after review of this movie. I can get an idea about what its like. Once I arm myself with this knowledge I'm ready next time someone asks me "Hey, have you seen King Kong on DVD?" I just go "Yeah its awesome, love the special effects, the acting was alright but they should have got someone else to take Jack Blacks part because he's better in comedies, apart from that you can tell it's Peter Jackson's favourite movie because of the amount of detail".

Ok sound's convincing, huh? Pretty much I think this is how compulsive liars start. Who knows? This can actually work in other settings like when people ask you if you've been to a certain country. I don't have to spend $2000 on a holiday when I can make it up.

I actually used this technique when I went for my first web design job. I was asked if I use Dreamweaver - A web design program. At that time I had only used Frontpage - an inferior web design program, infact now being a Dreamweaver fan I understand why it was asked. Anyway, I had no idea how to do a webpage using Dreamweaver that I bluffed my way through, got paid for the job, and got a great result at the end. Checkout this page I done by clicking here. Actually I don't care if any of my clients read this. I can do the work you want me to do! Thats what you're paying me to do! Another time I remember getting paid for a job I didn't know how to do, actually it was so easy that I couldn't believe I was getting paid for it.

The only thing I don't do is do is make up crap to my closest friends. Only people who I want off my back. But on the other hand, if you ask a stupid question you can expect a stupid answer!

Have you ever lied to get a job? Leave your response in the comments below!

Visit the Fake Mike Reality Tour, its a blog devoted to stuff that would be real if it actually happened to me.

Thats it for me
- Stay Cool

Britney may sue... WOOPY DOO

According to MSNBC Britney Spears’ baby boy recently fell and bonked his head, but the singer reportedly thinks a high chair might be to blame.

A nanny was taking the seven-month-old tot from his high chair earlier this month when “something snapped,” according to a report in People magazine.
Baby Sean Preston was taken to the hospital, where he was deemed okay, but now Spears is looking into suing the maker of the chair, according to In Touch Weekly. “The chair’s back broke,” a “family insider” explained to the mag. “She’s going to see if there was a fault in the chair.”

Meanwhile, Shar Jackson — the mother of two children by Spears’ hubby, Kevin Federline — reportedly doesn’t have great faith in Spears’ mothering abilities.
“Shar told Kevin that Britney can’t be alone with their kids,” a source told the mag. “Shar said that if Kevin wants to see their kids, he and Britney must do it at a hotel. “She doesn’t know what goes on at their house and there are too many strangers hanging around.”

Ok, even after so many years of seeing spear britney in the limelight she still anoys the crap out of me. I can't believe how some celebrities act like complete idiots. If you take away their fame and money what would they have? They'd be those anoying people and family members that come around your house un-invited. They could also be stupid people you know. If they had fame and fortune they'd be like Spear Britney and Tom Cruise.

Crap Video

Theres nothing worse than a crap video. I mean you have to sit 3/4 of the way through it before it dawns on you that its crap and you start to fill uncomfortable and you have to make the tea - thats how you know its crap. You sit there and you go "Does anyone want a cup of tea?" And you go and make the tea - thats your first indication that its a shocker.

Then it will creep on you and then there will be the one scene thats just ridiculous and everyone goes "Who got this one out?" And slowly but surely everyone looks around at the person who got the video out and he's just sitting there going "oooh I didn't know, how was I to know? It said recommended viewing on the cover". Of course its going to say Recommended viewing. Its not going to have a big sticker saying 'This is a crap video'.
Review on the back: I wanted to make a cup of tea

Youth Ministry Photos

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Some want to know what stuff we do for our youth program. Here's some photos. No I don't put photos of our youth here or even email those photos to protect them. There are too many fruitcakes in Cyberspace.

Here is a photo of a Yabby that one of our youth caught at 'Yabby Dabba Doo".....

Here's a photo of me sitting on the toilet at 'ELEVATE' (our schools ministry program) yesterday. Don't ask...

I Hate Computers - Part 2

The way I see it, there are 4 essential services. Police, Fire, Ambulance and Internet Help Desk. See my clients want to get on the internet. They don't even know what the internet is. All they know is that they want to be on it. So they go down to Harvey Norman or some other over-priced place, hand over their hard earned cash and take it home, connect it up and *BOOM* they're stuck in a cyber space with only me as their guide. Air traffic controllers think they have the hardest job - Yeah Right. When customers can't access their e-mail or tell can't start up Internet Explorer they're going to be venting all over you my friend.

Part of my job is being a computer help desk. You see people call me when they have problems with their computer and because my clients think that I was around in the 70's when the first personal computer came out I have to know EVERYTHING there is to know about computers, right? Wrong, thats a misconception. It's impossible to know everything. There's too much. Everything isn't EVERYTHING, its actually something! My clients are great, don't get me wrong but there are somethings you don't need to ask. These things are:

  1. Where the power switch is for your monitor? Its one of those button looking things on the front of the monitor
  2. What a monitor is? It's the TV
  3. Where the 'any key' is? They removed it because people didn't use it because it was wasting space
  4. Why your computer won't work? Because you didn't turn it on
  5. Why you didn't have computers back in your day? Well they did but they were the size of the M.C.G
  6. Why kids know more about computers than you do? Ask a kid
  7. Why your computer won't work? Because you didn't switch it on
  8. Why your computer won't work? Because you're trying to play a CD Rom on an old 486 computer, that looks brand new. You thought that your 'new' computer that your neighbour gave you would actually play that CD Rom. As a matter of fact you've got ripped off because your neighbour was too lazy to pay $5 to get rid of it at the scrap metal yard and decided to give it to you because you were too cheap to buy a brand new one that won't give you problems. It will now cost you more to upgrade your old dinosaur than to get a new one. And let me guess, you want me to charge you next to nothing to fix it for you?

Did I mention the question about Why your computer won't work?

I can write this stuff because I don't give my clients my weblog address anyway. Woopy doo. That's my rant at the moment. If you're an I.T guy and you've had a similar experience or totally relate to what I'm talking about I'd love to hear your stories below, leave a comment!

I Hate Computers

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I hate computers. I re-installed Win XP on my laptop here because it was previously not being able to connect to the internet and having problems downloading Flash Player 8 (I couldn't see anything used with Flash Player 8) and a whole bunch of other stuff. Now everything is fine! Thank God. About time. So if you've been wondering why theres a lack of Blog Entries and why I've been quiet, now you know! Why am I even involved in the I.T industry? I'm sick of looking at peoples computers when they stuff them up. People tell me that theres something wrong with their computer but its totally different when I get there. The haven't correctly told me what the problem is.

Well thats my rant... Thanks for caring

Special Guest of the Week Comp

Do you want to win 30 B.E Credits? all you have to do is go visit this weeks special guest, copy a sentence from their blog and paste it below in the comments... the winner will be randomly selected! Good luck