I Hate Computers - Part 2

|

The way I see it, there are 4 essential services. Police, Fire, Ambulance and Internet Help Desk. See my clients want to get on the internet. They don't even know what the internet is. All they know is that they want to be on it. So they go down to Harvey Norman or some other over-priced place, hand over their hard earned cash and take it home, connect it up and *BOOM* they're stuck in a cyber space with only me as their guide. Air traffic controllers think they have the hardest job - Yeah Right. When customers can't access their e-mail or tell can't start up Internet Explorer they're going to be venting all over you my friend.


Part of my job is being a computer help desk. You see people call me when they have problems with their computer and because my clients think that I was around in the 70's when the first personal computer came out I have to know EVERYTHING there is to know about computers, right? Wrong, thats a misconception. It's impossible to know everything. There's too much. Everything isn't EVERYTHING, its actually something! My clients are great, don't get me wrong but there are somethings you don't need to ask. These things are:

  1. Where the power switch is for your monitor? Its one of those button looking things on the front of the monitor
  2. What a monitor is? It's the TV
  3. Where the 'any key' is? They removed it because people didn't use it because it was wasting space
  4. Why your computer won't work? Because you didn't turn it on
  5. Why you didn't have computers back in your day? Well they did but they were the size of the M.C.G
  6. Why kids know more about computers than you do? Ask a kid
  7. Why your computer won't work? Because you didn't switch it on
  8. Why your computer won't work? Because you're trying to play a CD Rom on an old 486 computer, that looks brand new. You thought that your 'new' computer that your neighbour gave you would actually play that CD Rom. As a matter of fact you've got ripped off because your neighbour was too lazy to pay $5 to get rid of it at the scrap metal yard and decided to give it to you because you were too cheap to buy a brand new one that won't give you problems. It will now cost you more to upgrade your old dinosaur than to get a new one. And let me guess, you want me to charge you next to nothing to fix it for you?

Did I mention the question about Why your computer won't work?

I can write this stuff because I don't give my clients my weblog address anyway. Woopy doo. That's my rant at the moment. If you're an I.T guy and you've had a similar experience or totally relate to what I'm talking about I'd love to hear your stories below, leave a comment!

6 Comment(s):

Raivyn said...

While attempting to fix a friend's computer, he asked me the infamous question- "Why doesn't it work?" He lost nearly everything because of the stupidest virus imaginable. I'm like, "Dude, you have a virus." And he replied in a serious manner with, "I feel fine." A few seconds later he was asking why I was on the floor laughing. Gee, I wonder..

Marie said...

Ok, fellow brother in Christ, I'll take free credits if you are handing them out. I could use them 'cause I keep losing blog wars 8-7. I don't know what's worse, being blown out 10-2 or losing by just. . .that. . .one. . .vote.

Tigersan said...

Over 6,000 viruses, 5 antispy/ad/virus installations, and 3 hours later helping a friend "fix" his computer, I find out he is trying to become a computer teacher! Well, there is the saying, those that can't do it teach it ;)

Tigersan said...

Over 6,000 viruses, 5 antispy/ad/virus installations, and 3 hours later helping a friend "fix" his computer, I find out he is trying to become a computer teacher! Well, there is the saying, those that can't do it teach it ;)

plusultra said...

I'm sure you are tired of this question also Mike, but do you know why my computer works? That nerd picture of you deserves some kind of reward dude!

Elena said...

An age old question does the monitor hold any valuable information?