More Wedding Photos, Enjoy

More Christmas Cheer

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) --here is the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas

Festivus For The Restivus

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Many Christmas's ago, Frank Costanza went to buy a doll for George. There was only one doll left and when he reached for it, so did another man. After struggling for the doll, he thought there could be another way. The doll was destroyed, but out of that, a new holiday was born. It was called Festivus. A Festivus for the rest-iv-us..

Festivus Information:

Celebrated December 23rd each year.

The Meal:
Whatever you want

During the last few weeks in December when Festivus takes place, families and friends get together at the dinner table and have something called "the Airing of Grievances". Durning this time, we share with family and friends all the ways they had disappointed over the past year.

After the Airing
of Grievances, we get together right in the same night to do something called "Feats of Strength". This is where the head of the household tests his/her strength with another friend or family member. The great honour is given out to a different person each year. In Seinfeld, Cosmo Kramer was given the honor but turned it down to George Costanza as he had an appointment.

Now for the pole. No it is not a tree. A pole, no decorations. Frank Costanza believes that tinsel is very distracting so there are no decorations. The pole is tall, silver, hollow, long, skinny, and heavy.

Our Wedding Day - The Photos

Hey Everyone!! Our wedding day was incredible. We are still overwhelmed and blessed with the amount of support on the day. As You can see, Elena's dress was amazing. The food was incredible. We can't ask for anything more.

The day was more than we could ever hope or dream it could be. Without further left to do we present you with the first lot of photos from the day. More to follow. Enjoy heaps!

1 Day To Go.... Tomorrows The Big Day!

Well Tomorrows the Big Day... Everything is set... Elena and I are excited... About this time tomorrow we will be husband and wife....

Thanks to everyone who has been leaving fantastic messages of support. You are the best! Thanks Everyone!

God Bless you all

Mike and Elena!

2 Days To Go... Its Time!

Here we go! the time is counting down. There is less than 40 hours left until the wedding!

This is possibly the last post that you will read from yours truly as a bachelor before Elena and I tie the knot on Saturday. The next entry will most likely be after we get married. All the preparation is done, the practice is tomorrow night and then the guys go out for my bachelor party until midnight.... Where's my time gone? I want it back - ha ha.

People keep asking me if I'm nervous about getting married. The answer is a big fat satisfying 'NO!' My question is: What am I suppose to be nervous about? If I was then they would be good nerves.

I'm thankful to my folks. They are the best! They have been so supportive and totally embraced Elena since day 1 since she touched down on Australian soil. Since Elena's folks won't be able to make it to the wedding my dad is walking Elena down. Elena and I totally understand the circumstances and the reason why you both can't make it and I thank you both for embracing me and counting me as part of your family.... It is such an awesome blessing and I look forward to meeting you both in person!!!

Well thats me for now...... see you all around...

Keep the messages coming, they're great!!

4 Days To Go - Way to Go

Hey everyone.... not much time now... for our family and friends in the U.S.A here is a link to our church to show you what the auditorium and reception area is like for the wedding. Oh yeah, I designed the church website.
CLICK HERE to visit the church site.
CLICK HERE to view photos.

Have a great day/night/morning/evening everyone.

Leave a comment below by clicking the comments link.

5 Days To Go

G'day Everyone...
The countdown is on... theres 5 days to go until our wedding! woo hoo... We orginally thought that we would be able to a satelite link for the wedding so our Elena's family and friends could watch it online... unfortunately this won't be happening. The good news is we are putting our wedding on DVD and posting it out after the big day. 95% of the preparation has been done. Elena and I are just tidying up the loose ends. If everything goes according to plan, it all should be done by Wednesday night.

Anywho, thats all for now... watch this space. Oh yeah, leave a comment below... PPPPLLLEAASAASSSSEEEE!!!