I may grow older but I'll never grow up

Crikey, Tomorrow is my birthday! I can't believe that I'm going to hit the big 3-0. I'm actually in denial.

Some highlights of these 29.9 years since I've been on earth so far include:

  • Moving out of my folks place
  • Moving out of my folks place
  • Moving out of my folks place

Did I mention moving out of my folks place?

Some of my regrets:

  • Not finding out what the Colonel's 11 secret herbs & spices are
  • Not trying bungy jumping
  • Not trying sky diving
  • Not watching Seinfeld from Season 1 Episode 1 to Season 9 Season 180 continuously without stopping
  • Not being on the TV show 'The Mole'
  • Not being on The Amazing Race
  • Experiencing an episode of Australian Idol
  • Not moving out of my folks earlier....

The worst thing about that is when people find out that its your birthday its peoples duty to remind you. To everyone: I know its my birthday, everytime I open my wallet theres my drivers licence with my date of birth on it. If I'm in America I would have already missed my 30th birthday since it would read 2/1/08 (January 2) not 1/2/08 (Feburary 1).

Happy Australia Day

Happy Australia Day everyone!

If you don't know what we're talking about its Australia's answer to Independence Day.

To Celebrate this joyous occasion here's the Australian Nation Anthem to the tune of Jimmy Barnes Working Class Man

I can't forget Australia Day without showing some Crowded House

What Makes Australia Great - Aussie Food

Ok, so here’s the deal-e-o: we’re talking food today. Not just any food but Down Under cuisine.

Vegemite is a dark brown savoury food paste made from yeast extract, used mainly as a spread on sandwiches, toast and cracker biscuits, as well as a filling of pastries like Cheesymite scroll, in Australia and New Zealand. It is similar to British Marmite, New Zealand Marmite and Swiss Cenovis. Vegemite is made from leftover brewers' yeast extract, a by-product of beer manufacture, and various vegetable and spice additives. The taste may be described as salty, slightly bitter, and malty - somewhat similar to the taste of beef bouillon. The texture is smooth and sticky, much like peanut butter. It is not as intensely flavoured as Marmite and it is less sweet than the New Zealand version of Marmite. Vegemite is popular with many Australians and New Zealanders, who commonly consider it a "national food."


There are many reasons to come and visit your two favourite Aussie and American in the land of Oz. Although we promise everyone a rockin' good time in the land down under, the real reason you should visit (reefs, architectural icons, a perfect climate and general fabulousness excepted), is a little cookie know as the Tim Tam - "the most irresistible chocolate biscuit." Tim Tams are awesomeness in biscuit form. Chocolaty wafers with a smooth caramel center dipped in chocolate - what's not to like?
Oh wait, there's more ways to get your Tim Tam on. You have your choice of mouth watering centers or you can even get them double dipped in chocolate. If you're into kickin' it old school, the original Tim Tam is filled with a light and fluffy chocolate cream. And better yet, they are healthy. In Australia, there are no calories, just "energy" and the Tim Tams have lots of it. Isn't that wonderful?
Being a creative, inventive and boozey people, the Aussies have even figured out how to incorporate the Tim Tam into a drinking game. It's called the "Tim Tam Slam." You can read about it here . A Tim Tam Slam has been performed by Natalie Imbruglia and host Graham Norton on the So Graham Norton television series in the United Kingdom. American actress Jennifer Love Hewitt also performed one live on Rove McManus's Australian talk show Rove Live after professing her love for the biscuit


This one is a Meat Pie and Coke. I think its Aussie tradition to combine 2 things that health professionals call junk food and label it as a meal. You have these everywhere, the Football, the cricket, everywhere. No you don't pay $3.50 - try $7 for both together. Yep, the sporting events have their own constitution. Most places know as soon as patrons step inside the ground, you lose any sense of their being a life outside of the stadium.

This is the Chips and gravy and Coke..... There's a place around the corner who make the best chips and gravy around. You have not lived until you've tasted them. I don't know how they do it or what they put in it but it tastes perfect. This I'll have at least once a week or once a fortnight, depending on how I'm feeling. I'm very spontaneous and if I'm driving past the shop I will sometimes stop and grab me some.

What Makes Australia Great - Cricket & Yobbo's

Traditionally, cricket fans have been gentlemanly. They watched the game without showing much emotion. They cheered good play from opponents and arrived at the game in respectable attire such as suits and ties

World series cricket attracted a new breed of fan to whom cricket was not always the main attraction. Known as Yobbos, these fans liked making noise, taking the crap out of people and dressing up in silly attire. They brought with them drums, horns and instigated Mexican waves. Cricket games subsequently developed the kind of carnival atmosphere more commonly associated with football.

Yet despite having many distractions to the game, the Yobbo's were far more one eyed in comparison to the gentleman fans of days gone by. Instead of cheering good play by opponents, Yobbos booed like a fan at a football game; and chanting obscenities

For a while, the Yobbos had harmless fun but it was only a matter of time before they became the subject of complaints from the wowsers in the members stand. The members voiced their disapproval of the excessive noise and subsequently, the Yobbo's musical instruments were banned.

The members were also offended by the Mexican wave as whenever it reached them, they remained seated to which the yobbos booed.

Yobbo's also had a habit and breaking into chants. It wasn't long before security began ejecting anyone suspecting of starting the wave or having a good time.With their musical instruments banned and their Mexican wave under attack, the Yobbos searched for new means of entertainment. Throwing items such as plastic cups and half eaten meat pies was the logical solution. This new form of entertainment caused serious problems as occasionally an unsuspecting cricket fan with no interest in food fights found themselves in the lions den of a pack of Yobbos. In such situations, protests to watch cricket in peace were greeted with sadistic laughter or perhaps a meat pie to the back of the head.

Yobbo's also began entertaining themselves by invading the pitch. This was a concern to channel nine commentators as they looked silly when they spoke about the pride of playing for Australia only to then see Australians running onto the field without wearing any trousers!

Authorities initially tried to calm Yobbism by ejecting troublemakers. Unfortunately, no matter how many were ejected, thousands remained to continue the troublemaking. This left the authorities with only one option; sell half strength beer. Many yobbos were outraged and vowed to boycott the cricket.

Other yobbos developed ingenious schemes to smuggle alcohol into the stadium. They discovered that water melons could be injected with vodka. Fruit salad could be soaked in booze over night and port could be placed in coca -cola bottles and look like the real thing.

Yes, If you haven't been to the Cricket you have no idea what you are missing.

By the way, Kudos to all you who have ever been in bay 13.

What Makes Australia Great - Long Weekends

Australia Day is coming soon and this weekend is a long weekend. I think Aussies just find an excuse to have a long weekend.

I would love to celebrate my own long weekend by creating my own public holiday by celebrating "Bogan Day". This would consist of a parade with guys with Attire with Shirt that is usually flannel in nature or promoting bands such as MetallicA, PanterA, AC/DC, Sepultura, Iron Maiden or Megadeth. With their hair grown long cut into a mullet. In this parade early-model Holden or Ford cars would drive behind their owners.

The day could be spent watching AFL Football with a BBQ lunch. They could also give out free tickets to the Footy for anyone with any of these names:

Feel free to add this idea and anyone reading this that wants to actually help me get this idea off the ground, please get in contact with me by leaving a comment below.

What Makes Australia Great - Men At Work

Jan 26th is Australia Day and to celebrate we are going to be looking at different things that make Australia great.

For starters here's the song Down Under by Men At Work.

My Nintendo Collection

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Sorry for the long delay between posts but I have a good excuse.

You see I'm an avid collector of all things Nintendo that I have put my photos up for all the world to see. I started my collection back in 1990 with a life size Super Mario action figure (No I don't use the word doll). So check out my great collection everyone!


As promised here is our first Ultrasound photo of 'Bump' at 13 weeks. 'Bump' is due July 18th. Don't forget to vote on whether we are having a boy or a girl.

Updates On This Blog

Hi everyone! Just thought we'd tell everyone whats happening. At the moment I'm experimenting with a new look for this blog, not too sure what it's going to look like yet but I'm looking for template, the new template should be finalised within a couple of weeks or so. Also the Official Poll has been started again simply because the total was not calculating correctly when it was saying 9 votes when there were actually 12.

We have added a Crikey Friends feature which is a Blogroll, which means that if you add our blog to your site we'll return the favour. Just add your blog address in the comments below.

We would ask everyone to also subscribe to our feeds and everytime this blog is updated you will be notified via email or a feed reader.

We also appreciate any feedback, questions or comments on how to make this site even better. Just leave a note in the comments section and we WILL respond.

Oh yeah, come back here tomorrow for a big surprise as we've got some big news!!

Well thats about it for now.

Have a good one

Caption This: Waterproof Electricity

WATER & ELECTRICITY together at last like Forest & Jenny!!! hmmm? Maybe not!

I took while in New Zealand back in '05 at Parachute Festival. I saw this guy filling up his 600 ml bottle of Mount Franklin spring water. I quickly got out my camera and took this photo. Yes its 100% real and not photo-shoped at all.

Fancy yourself a caption writer? Leave your caption in the comments below.

Inventive Invention of the Moment

What do you get when you cross CSI and the beach? This really cool beach towel!

The Real Reason I Got The Fugitive

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I just brought the Fugitive on DVD. Some may ask why I've done that when you could have just downloaded it. Well I'll let you know.

Being an avid fan of the TV show scrubs I was suprised to find out that the Janitor is actually in it. I thought it may have been the prospect of the Janitor editing his copy of The Fugitive just to screw with his mind but its actually true. I've decided to buy my own copy of Fugitive so I can see this with my own eyes. Besides its a good movie anyway.

What I'm Thinking

If we decide to sponsor a child does that mean someone in Africa will walk around with my name on their shirt?

Inventive Invention of the Moment

Transparent Toaster
Do you love toast, but you always burn it? Then, this invention us for you. This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you just have to take it out when the colour is right. This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology.

Mike & Elena Of The Week

Welcome to Mike & Elena of the week. Each week we pick a couple to be the "Mike & Elena of the week". We search Google images for other Mike & Elena's.

This week's winner is these two:

Found another Mike & Elena worthy of this award? Leave your details in the comments below.

The REAL Citizenship Test

The controversial Citizenship Test introduced by the Howard Government last year has conjured up a fresh wave of political fire after findings revealed that one-fifth of applicants were failing to reach the 60 per cent pass margin.

To begin with, the idea of testing knowledge of Australian culture in an academic environment always reeked of political gorgonzola. It emerged as a slightly desperate attempt by the Howard Government to put the square peg of immigration into the round hole of compliance. The idea was well-intentioned, but its execution was rather ill-conceived and somewhat irrelevant.

For instance, knowing who Don Bradman is, and his contribution to Australian Cricket, doesn’t really strike me as a major indicator of the quality of a person’s Australian-ness. (Just quietly, I think that was Little Johnny’s insistent suggestion when they were drafting the potential exam questions) But anyway, we have the test, and now it’s under question for its apparent difficulty and the rate of failure.

Some may say, “Well if you don’t put the work in to understand the answers to the questions (which are actually made freely available before you take the test), then clearly you don’t have the level of commitment that is required to be part of Australian society”. Which is a decent point. But certainly the intention of the Howard Government was to ascertain the level of cultural digestion potential immigrants had reached, rather than seeing if they could pass an exam they already had the answers to.

In saying that then, the question really has to be asked, if we are testing potential immigrants of their level of Australian cultural knowledge, what happens when we point the focus at Australians themselves? Surely Australian citizens should be able to pass this test with ease?

Being Australian is a feeling, a real feeling that you cannot gauge with bureaucratic nonsense.

As a result, I decided to knock up a bunch of questions that engage the real heart of Australian culture.

Q1 ) What is the correct style of footwear to be used whilst mowing a sloped lawn?
a) Steel Capped work boots with sock protectors
b) Tennis shoes with holes in them
c) Wet rubber thongs.
Answer: C

Q2 ) If you see a funnel-web spider in your garage, what is the correct thing to do?
a) Call “Wires” and a representative will come to safely remove it
b) Squeal like a girl and hide under your bed
c) Poke it with a stick for laughs
Answer: C

Q3 ) The word “Girt” alludes to….
a) A combination of grass and dirt
b) The fungal bacteria that develops on a girl who doesn’t wash that much
c) …the fact that nobody has used this word in an actual sentence, ever.
Answer: C

Q4) What is footy?
a) A foot fungus
b) An african foot disease
c) The best game ever
Answer: C

Q5) How much does a pie & coke cost at the footy?
a) An Arm
b) A Leg
c) Your first born
Answer: C

Q6) Which one of these people is not a famous Australian
a) John Farnham
b) John Howard
c) John Stamos
Answer: C

Q7) Who is Glenn McGrath
a) The Australian Prime Minister
b) Mardi Grath's Brother
c) A legend
Answer: C (I will also accept A)

Senator Chris Evans, if you are desperate for a re-tweak of the test, I’m available.

Feel free to add questions that should be there in the comments below.

Get Down

Hi Everyone,

This year we plan to beat my blog entry record of 240 which was first set back in 2005. This is the 3rd year of The Crikey Files and post #463. With that said we're hoping to post something everyday. Sometimes its difficult coming up with new content and entries to write, that's why there was a lack of entries in 2007. Any idea's about what to blog about are welcome. Just leave your idea or question or whatever in the comments below (Whatever does not mean advertisements for that stupid Crazy Frog ring tone).

Also, you'll find that we have added a poll on the left. We are interested to see what people think our new born baby will be. The poll closes on the due date which is approx July 15th so get voting now because every vote counts (Whatever that means).

Here's Audio Adrenaline's film clip 'Get Down'

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone... Hope the New Year fairy brings you all something awesome.

Here's New Years from Sydney