For All You Collingwood Fans

Aussie Food

These little things we cook up on the barby

Brekkie - breakfast
barby - outdoor cooking hotplate
Chips - crisps
Coffee scroll - sticky bun
Damper - a big scone cooked on a campfire
Flat White - café au lait
Four n Twenty - make of Australian pie (as in Nursery Rhyme)
Hungry Jacks - Burger King
Lollies - sweets
Macca's - Mc Donalds
Pavlova - Australian meringue (after Polish dancer Anna Pavlova)
Sanger - sandwich
Snag - sausage
Tucker - food

Biggest jar of Vegemite Ever Made (3.5kg) 1988. This is the stuff we eat like peanut butter.

What Makes Australia Great: Big Stuff

Big Banana (New South Wales)
In a land full of big things, the Big Banana at Coffs Harbour is one of the biggest, both in fame and stature. And it's only a short drive away from the charming town of Bellingen and the World Heritage Listed Dorrigo National Park.

Big Pineapple (Australia)
The other heavyweight in the Big Thing Universe, the Big Pineapple is located on Queensland's Sunshine Coast. It is also home to one of the finest souvenir shops in Australia. A pineapple in a snowdome, can you imagine anything more beautiful?

Big Merino (New South Wales)
You'd have to travel a very long way before you came across a more innovative use of concrete than the Big Merino at Goulburn. It truly is one of the engineering marvels of the modern world. Go there, and when you leave spread the gospel.

Big Ned Kelly (Australia)
In 1878 Ned Kelly shot 3 policemen and became the most wanted man in Australia. Australians don't like authority so he also became a national hero. After that it was inevitable that a 6m likeness would be erected at Glenrowan, the site of his capture

Big Tasmanian Devil (Australia)
As big things go, the Tassie Devil is somewhat underwhelming but I had to include something from Tasmania and the alternatives, the Big Coffee Pot, the Big Apple and the Big Penguin are too stupid, too cliched and too short respectively.

Big Lobster (Australia)
If the Big Lobster was located on the east coast it would undoubtedly rival the Big Banana and the Big Pineapple as the greatest big thing in the world. Instead it's found down the road from Adelaide and its true grandeur remains largely unrecognised.

Big Potato (Australia)
The Big Potato is in Robertson, the town where the movie Babe was filmed. You might have expected therefore that the local tourism board would opt for a big pig. Instead they've gone for a big brown lump that looks like a giant kangaroo dropping.

Aussie Slang Made Easy

Let's say you’re an American male on a visit to Australia and you meet this dinki-di Aussie sheila.
You click, and she wonders if you can meet her later, say at 5pm, near the lifts by the chemist’s on the first floor of the Oz Building.
"No worries, mate," you say, having already picked up that Aussie expression.
And, yes, you know that lifts are elevators and the chemist’s is the pharmacy or drugstore.
A really good start to what could develop into something great.
And so at 5 o’clock...
Before it’s 5pm you rush into the Oz Building, which you discover to be a shopping centre. You had a map and it was easy to find.
The elevators are there all right but there’s no drugstore. Well, even a true blue Aussie sheila can get her bearings wrong.
So you wait by the elevators, and the minutes tick by.
By 6pm you just know you’ve been stood up...

But what about her?

Well, she was there before 5pm. She was waiting near the lifts by the chemist’s on the first floor but when you didn’t arrive by 6pm, she just knew she’d been stood up.
Unfortunately, the American knows the ground floor of a building as the first floor. Any Australian knows that the first floor of a building is the first floor up from the ground floor, or what the American would know as the second floor.

The moral of this little story is: Know a little bit of the local language.

A recent development is using level instead of floor, hence Level 1, Level 2, and so on, to avoid confusion. (Of course, Level 1 may not be the ground floor either, particularly in buildings with underground levels.)
There are a number of Australian words and phrases, for which Americans, or people influenced by the American language, use different terms.

Here we go:

barrack for. Cheer. as in barrack for the Blues (a sports team). Warning: Don’t use root willy-nilly unless you know what it means in Australian.
battler. Someone who tries hard despite money problems.
bitumen. Paved road, asphalt.
bludger. One who won’t work and usually relies only on Social Security payments.
bonnet. Hood (of a car)
boot. Trunk (of a car)
bottle shop. Liquor store.
bushfire. Forest fire, wildfire.
bushranger. Outlaw, highwayman.
BYO. Bring your own (wine). Said of restaurants without a liquor licence.
cask (of wine). Boxed wine ready to drink from a spigot.
chemist, or chemist’s. Pharmacy or drugstore.
come good. Turn out okay.
cut lunch. Sandwiches.
deli. Milk bar, delicatessen.
esky. Insulated container (usually to keep beer cold).
flake. Shark meat, what you usually get in fish and chips.
give it away. Give up.
grazier. Cattle or sheep farmer.
holidays (sometimes colloguially shortened to hols). Vacation.
knock. Criticise.
lamington. Sponge cake covered in chocolate and coconut.
lift. Elevator.
lolly. Candy.
lay-by. Buy on instalment without taking the goods until fully paid for.
milk bar. Usually a general store.
newsagent. Newspaper shop.
non-smoking area. No smoking area.
offsider. Assistant or partner.
out of pocket. Spent more than was received.
pavlova. Meringue and cream dessert.
perve. Be a peeping Tom, or to look with lust. From pervert.
pictures. The movies, cinema, as in Let's go to the pictures.
ratbag. A weirdo or something like that.
ropable. Extremely angry or bad-tempered.
sealed. Paved, as in sealed road. Not a dirt road.
shellacking. Criticism for a thorough and shameful defeat.
shonky. Dubious, unreliable.
shopstealing. Shoplifting.
sunbake. Sunbathe.
takeaway. Take out, to go.
windscreen. Windshield (of a motor vehicle).

This Doesn't Happen in Australia

Guess The Name of Our Newborn

Everyone has been asking us for the name of our unborn son or daughter so we thought we'd ask everyone to guess what the name is. Leave a boy name or girl name in the comments below. You can leave as many names as you want. We will announce the name of our baby when he or she is born about July 18th.

Jedi attack: Darth Vader spared

A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a black garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of Britain's first Jedi church has been given a suspended sentence.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones - a.k.a. Master Jonba Hehol - with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates Court in Wales. He also whacked Jones's 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones - or Master Mormi Hehol - bruising his thigh, in the March 25 incident.

Unfortunately for Hughes, the incident was recorded on a video camera that the cousins had set up to film themselves in a light saber battle.
"Darth Vader! Jedis!" Hughes shouted as he approached.
Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine beforehand.

"He knows his behaviour was wrong and didn't want it to happen but he has no recollection of it," said Hughes's lawyer, Frances Jones.
District Judge Andrew Shaw sentenced Hughes to two months in jail but suspended the sentence for one year. He also ordered Hughes to pay 100 pounds ($200) to each of his victims and 60 pounds in court costs.

Barney Jones, his brother Daniel and cousin Michael set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. It claims about 30 members.
Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the Star Wars films. In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 - 0.7 per cent of the population - listed Jedi as their religion.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

*_BARACK OBAMA:_*The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
*_JOHN MC CAIN:_*My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized theneed to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on theother side of the road
*_HILLARY CLINTON:_*When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to crossthe road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets thechance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't aboutme.......
*_DR. PHIL:_*The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that hemust first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before itgoes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need todo is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
*_OPRAH:_*Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is whyhe wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chickenlearn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'mgoing to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across theroad and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
*_GEORGE W. BUSH:_*We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just wantto know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chickenis either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
*_COLIN POWELL_*:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satelliteimage of the chicken crossing the road...
*_ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:_*We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yetbeen allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
*_JOHN KERRY:_*Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now againstit! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken'sintentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
*_NANCY GRACE:_*That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it inhis eyes and the way he walks.
*_PAT BUCHANAN_*:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
*_MARTHA STEWART:_*No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had astanding order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the pricedropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation.
*_DR SEUSS_*:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, thechicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
*_ERNEST HEMINGWAY:_*To die in the rain. Alone.
*_JERRY FALWELL:_*Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chickenis gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say weboycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberalmedia whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the otherside.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plainand as simple as that.
*_GRANDPA:_ *In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebodytold us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
*_BARBARA WALTERS:_*Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to thechicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how itexperienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish itslife long dream of crossing the road.
*_ARISTOTLE:_*It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
*_JOHN LENNON:_*Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, inpeace.
*_BILL GATES:_*I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This newplatform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.
*_ALBERT EINSTEIN:_*Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
*_BILL CLINTON:_*I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition ofchicken?
*_AL GORE_*I invented the chicken!
*_COLONEL SANDERS_*:Did I miss one?
*_DICK CHENEY:_*Where's my gun!


| 0 Comment(s)

How To Get Around Australia

Ah yes, this is something some tourists may not quite think to ask when first planning a visit. Australia is about the size of Continental Western Europe or the main bits of the USA. So assuming you’re not limiting yourself to one city while you’re here (and yeah, some do just come and visit the Sydney Opera House, climb the bridge, ride a ferry, go to the zoo and the Blue Mountains, and then go home), you’ll need to figure out how you’re getting around this big brown land.

Your basic choices are: Plane / train / bus / drive / boat. Or walk or bicycle, but we’ll skip that for this particular explanation. And yogic flying is generally not recommended due to the distances involved.

Flying used to be very expensive, but airline competition in the last few years means it’s no longer necessarily the most pricey way to travel. Qantas and particularly Virgin Blue and Jetstar are now fighting for your airfare dollar, and the cheapest plane tickets are often not much more than the cost of a bus. So if you’re not interested in seeing the scenery along the way (apart from clouds and nice views of the cities as you flew in and out), and especially if you’re flying between capital cities and in a hurry, this is the way to go. Smaller local airlines cover some of the regional cities.

Note however that the cheapest air tickets are generally non-refundable and non-changeable, so you need to be absolutely certain of when and where you intend to fly. Check all the terms and conditions carefully, like that doozy with Jetstar whereby if you’re not checked-in 30 minutes before takeoff, they won’t let you board, full stop. Ground transport can also add a bit to the cost (a taxi could be more expensive than a cheap airfare), though most cities have relatively inexpensive airport buses. (Sydney and Brisbane also have airport trains.) Oh, and expect to pay extra for food and drink on Jetstar and Virgin.

Trains and buses continue to be a good option for some trips. Apart from Darwin by train, they generally serve the city centres, which may mean no extra time or money for ground transport. Booking ahead will often get discounts, and passes can be bought for extended bouts of travelling. They also serve the smaller towns, whereas you can generally only get to the bigger cities by plane.

The scenery can be terrific, indeed the (fairly expensive) tourist trains such as The Overland, Ghan and Indian Pacific use this as the drawcard. Sipping champagne while watching the countryside rolling past outside the window sounds pretty civilised to me (as long as the company is good), though they’re not known for their speed.

The Melbourne to Sydney and Brisbane XPT trains are a little less salubrious, but still reasonably comfortable, and a little faster. If you’re looking for TGV-style very fast trains in Australia though, you’ll be disappointed.

Bumping around in a bus (major operators: Greyhound, Firefly) making quick stops for meals at road houses may be a little less comfortable than a train, but you’ll get where you’re going on the cheap, and buses go to plenty of the smaller towns where planes and trains don’t stop.

Driving is also an option. Many overseas backpackers either buy an old car for the length of their holiday, or rent cars for particular trips. Obviously this is the way to go if no public transport serves where you’re going, and a taxi isn’t do-able, or you just want to do things at precisely your own pace.

Visitors from overseas should make sure they have a licence in English or an International Driving Permit. And for gawd sake don’t forget we drive on the left, and read up on the fiddly rules for where you’re going. (Hook turn, anybody?) If heading out into the bush from a big city, you may want to plan to make the first part of the trip by other means if heavy traffic freaks you out, and if going into the remote areas, take appropriate precautions: food, drink, comms.
The main candidate for travelling by boat is to from the mainland to the northern side of Tasmania. There are various classes of fare (the trip is overnight) and they can take cars on the boat. Avoid of seasick, natch.

So in summary, weigh up your options according to the priorities: destination vs money (some services have travel passes) vs time vs comfort.

PS. Please note: No, there is no bridge to New Zealand. And Uluru is not a day trip from Sydney.

National E-security Awareness Week

National E-security Awareness Week has been launched to highlight simple steps Australians should take to protect themselves, their families and their businesses online.

The internet is a very useful and entertaining medium, however it is important that people stay smart and think about online security.

Here are five tips for creating a more secure online environment:
1. Install, use and update your security software at home.
2. Use strong passwords and change them regularly.
3. Use common sense when sharing personal information online.
4. Think before you click - if it looks too good to be true it probably is!
5. Be smart and stay informed and visit

For more practical tips, advice and information on the National E-security Awareness Week events and partners, visit:

I Love Lego

For the past month, I have been making a toilet out of lego. I have just put the last brick on my lego toilet today. I guess I was bored. Its life like. Now I gotta incorporate some plumbing.

Mike & Elena of the Week

Welcome to Mike & Elena of the week. Each week we pick a couple to be the "Mike & Elena of the week". We search Google images for other Mike & Elena's.

This weeks other us's award go to these two.

Couple cheat online... with each other!

| 1 Comment(s)

A MARRIED couple who didn't realise they were chatting each other up on the internet are divorcing.

Sana Klaric and husband Adnan, who used the names "Sweetie" and "Prince of Joy" in an online chatroom, spent hours telling each other about their marriage troubles, reported.

The truth emerged when the two turned up for a date. Now the pair, from Zenica in central Bosnia, are divorcing after accusing each other of being unfaithful.

"I was suddenly in love. It was amazing. We seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriage. How right that turned out to be," Sana, 27, said.

Adnan, 32, said: "I still find it hard to believe that Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years".

The New FG Falcon at Debut in the V8 Supercars

Ford fans will get their first look at the all new FG Falcon based V8 Supercar racer this weekend when the car goes on show at Melbourne’s Sandown Raceway.

Ford has announced that the car, code named FG01, will be rolled out of the Ford Performance Racing workshops in Broadmeadows for the Midas 400 race weekend at Sandown.

Based on Ford’s recently launched FG Falcon XR8 sedan road car, the new Blue Oval weapon will feature a striking ‘Nitro’ blue with white themed livery.

The FG01 prototype will reside in pit lane for the duration of the event, from where Team Vodafone driver and V8 Supercar Champion Craig Lowndes will steer the new race car on a number of demonstration laps of the twisty 3.1 kilometre track.

Channel Seven pit reporter Grant Denyer will be riding as passenger, giving the V8 Supercar world a glimpse of Ford’s future in the sport.

“There has been a lot of excitement at Ford surrounding the launch of the new FG Falcon road-going series, and that excitement has certainly extended to the development of our new race car,” said Ford Racing Manager, Ray Price.

“Our new V8 Supercar has been in development for over 18 months, and it is great that we have been able to get FG01 out on the track so quickly off the back of revealing the new model Falcons.

“Ford’s V8 Supercar teams have been invaluable in having the car we have numbered FG01 ready for a mid-year homologation.”

FPR, Triple 8 (T8) and Stone Brothers Racing (SBR) played a pivotal role in building the FG test car which is called T2 internally – T1 was the test car for the currently raced BA/BF V8 Supercar model.”

“FG01 signifies a fresh look for the Fords, the best way to describe it is that it’s much more aggressive, I think everyone will be really pleased,” said FPR Team Principle Tim Edwards.

As the official Ford homologation team, Triple 8 has been involved in the development of FG01 and they are responsible for technical compliance of the vehicle within the TEGA ‘Blueprint specification’.

Additionally T8 contributed its aerodynamic expertise, designing and supplying components for testing.

Stone Brothers Racing (SBR) assisted with various technical elements of design and integration
“A mid-season homologation will ensure Ford teams are awarded the maximum amount of preparation time for when we’re ready to bring the FG to the track to race,” Price said.

The FG V8 Supercar and Ford’s traditional line-up of Falcon’s will hit the track this weekend at the Midas 400, Sandown Raceway June 7-9, further information at

50 things I learned from watching Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

| 1 Comment(s)

Here is a list of 50 things I learned from watching Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

  1. Don't throw away your rental agreement the next time I get stranded in a rental lot and my only way back is to walk down a freeway and runway.
  2. Pull your car over, before trying to take your coat of.
  3. If you decide to throw your cigarette out the window of the car, make sure that it actually does leave the car, or better yet, use the ashtray.
  4. When you spend the night at a motel and you want to take a shower, check out the shower first to find out how it works, or you might end up with soap all over your face and no more water.
  5. If you decide to throw your cigarette out the window of the car, make sure that it actually does leave the car, or better yet, use the ashtray.
  6. If you ever have loads of shower curtain rings and have no money, sell them all off as earings.
  7. If you let someone pay for everything, you feel like a freeloader.
  8. Lawyers are thieves (well, I guess we didn't really learn anything there).
  9. If you've purchased a first-class airline ticket and are assigned to row, it's unlikely you've been seated in first-class (how many rows of first-class do you think there could possibly be)?
  10. If you're driving a 1986 Dodge 600 ES Turbo and it catches on fire, your radio will be fireproof and will actually work better afterwards.
  11. A freshly made bed in a motel will look like a queen size when you first enter the room, but in the morning you'll realize it was only a double.
  12. It is possible to buy pajamas that will clash with every fabric pattern you share a room with. 21. Smoking in the 1980's was good for you.
  13. The cast of Family Ties was on the cover of Us Magazine sometime in 1986/1987.
  14. Grace, the secretary of Ferris Bueller's high school, has lost her job and is now a customer service agent for Marathon Car Rental.
  15. If you fall in front of a moving vehicle, it will stop right before hitting your head.
  16. Never, under no circumstances, NEVER put your hands in between two pillows.
  17. It's possible to have a baby come out sideways where the mom don't scream or nothin.'
  18. The theme song to Flintstones will go over better in a karaoke bar better than 3 Coins In A Fountain.
  19. Just because people don’t know your destination doesn’t mean they can’t tell you’re going the wrong way.
  20. $2.00 and a Casio won't get you a hotel matter how well you display the watch.
  21. Paying for a hotel room with cash ensures you will not get caught if you back into the building with your car.
  22. Wearing shower curtain rings as earings may grant you access to bars even if you are underage.
  23. If it seems awfully easy to hail a cab in NYC there is probably a very good chance it was someone else's cab.
  24. Even though you have just squeezed your car between two oncoming 18-wheelers the consequent dents and gouges can be buffed right out.
  25. Make sure to remove your wallet from the glove compartment just incase the car is to catch fire
  26. It's a dang rare thing these days to find someone who's proud of their town.
  27. After an accident it's ok to "laugh beacuse we all right now!"
  28. A tie will make a poor ear warmer when walking across the tarmack.
  29. Always call for a room first, NOT your wife to say you are in Witchataw.
  30. It is better to get a noogie than an indian burn.
  31. During Thanksgiving you should always end phone conversations with gobble gobble.
  32. Always have a friend vouch for you when you've worn the same underwear since tuesday in order to get a motel room.
  33. When losing control of a car and awakening your passenger, tell him we almost hit a deer to smooth things over.
  34. Sitting in a seat of a burned up car makes you feel like a big whopper.
  35. Taking a picture makes it last longer.
  36. You have more of a chance finding a three-legged ballerina than you do a hotel room when theres a storm in Witchita...
  37. Lugging a trunk around New York City seems to be harder than anywhere else.
  38. Holding tightly onto a dashboard will cause your fingers to sink into the dashboard.
  39. Breaking something can be always blamed on faulty engineering.
  40. Even though the discount cards are still honored at the motel, you'll have to be be charged for a double...but with the discount, it'll work out about even.
  41. Selling shower curtain rings to people ensures they owe you a favour.
  42. If you're willing to pay 10.00 for a cab, you're willing to pay 50.00....75.00...
  43. Never lose possession of your Diner's Club Card
  44. Casio watches draped seductively over your arm are not considered good enough for a room at a crappy motel which is probably empty anyway over thanksgiving.
  45. Like your work, love your wife.
  46. You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings.
  47. You can't rent a motel room with a Chalmer's Big & Tall credit card.
  48. Just go with the flow, like a twig on the shoulder of a mighty stream.
  49. Casio watches don't work as currency. You need a good watch for that.
  50. And finally.... Like your job, Love your wife.

Whats the name of that game?

I found this great video on You Tube. Someone has built a life size version of this board game..... Wait a minute I have to explain something before I continue. I can't say the name of the board game because the first word is a creature that Elena is afraid of while the second word is Trap. So for the sake of Elena reading this and freaking out I will say that this creature rhymes with 'House' so that's the word I will use....

So with that explanation out of the way let me start again...

I found this great video on You Tube. Someone has built a life size version of this board game. Does everyone remember the game 'House' Trap? You land on a particular space and it's suppose to set off the trap and you hope that the trap actually captures your 'house'. I remember getting 'House' Trap for my 10th birthday and I think its around somewhere... well part of it anyway. I think I've lost some bits and some of the 'houses'.

Anyway the whole point of this post is to show you the full size version of the 'House' Trap board game. I thought this was pretty good. After watching it I think I will go out back and create a full size Monopoly board with real size hotels and houses.

7 Weeks to go

Hi All,
We can't believe it, this is week 33 and what a journey it's been. We have been getting everything ready for the big day.

Its been way too long between posts so we thought we'd tell everyone whats happening. We have about 7 weeks to go until our baby is born. With that said, time is running out to vote whether our new born will be a boy or girl. You can vote on the right hand side of this page. The poll will expire on the due date of 18th July and of course we will let you know what the official result is.

We have bought a video camera to capture all the important baby moments and put them onto dvd and send them to our family and friends overseas. Keep an eye out soon in the mail.