Parenthood is Awesome


Madeline our little princess and bundle of joy is now 10 months old. Hooley Dooley, what a time to be a dad! You haven't lived until you've got a little girl calling you mum (even if you're dad or a beloved kids character). Why is everything Mum? What's up with that? Apparently the answer to lifes' problems isn't Drinking, Drugs, Twitter, or even Facebook! It's Mum! My wifey Elena is the best.

Madeline is at that age now where you can expect the un-expected. No one gave me a manual saying at 10 months she'll take her socks off and put them in her mouth while we're in Big W - not the first time mind you. Why didn't someone tell me that kids like to wake up at 5am to watch Bear in the Big Blue House then go back to sleep at 8am.

If you don't believe that God has a sense of humour then you haven't got a 10 month old or a little person for that matter. For example. We were in Safeway Supermarket a couple of days ago and all of a sudden Maddie starts 'talking'. Since Elena is originally from the United States of America I wasn't too sure what accent Madeline was trying to impersonate. We came to the conclusion she sounded like a 10 month old female version of the Warner Bros Character Tasmania Devil that just breathed in a whole 50 kg bottle of Helium with Raspberries and all. This went on for 10 solid minutes with people looking at us like we've taught her this.

That has got me wondering: What is the funniest thing your child has ever done while being out and in public? Leave a comment.

Want to start a cult? Wear a Snuggie

What is the deal with the snuggie? You know what I'm talking about. You can't sleep so you're channel surfing and you think you're watching one of those religious programs but you're not, its an infomercial selling this blanket with sleeves.

Why would anyone buy one of these unless they are planning to start a cult?

It's hard to look at this photo and not think that the people in it are involved in some cult asking viewers to send in money like Kenneth Copeland.

Here are a few useful suggestions I've come up for the snuggie:
  • Religious cult
  • Dress as a Jedi for Halloween
  • Choir Robes
  • Hospital gown
  • Bath Towel
I was thinking I'd get the same effect if I got a dressing down and wore it backwards like a 'Kriss Kross' fan (remember them?).

Though I'm not a fan of these I was stoked that they showed it on the last episode of the Big Bang Theory (Click here to see it).

Check this video out of the Snuggie featured on Ellen.

Feel free to add your uses for a Snuggie to my list in the comments

I smell a scam, no wait its Benny Hinn

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Benny Hinn is taking his game to a lower level.

Dear Partner,

Pastor Benny Hinn PortraitWhile news reports scream headlines of uncertainty in the world’s economy and each day brings news of financial chaos, I’m writing to tell you about a heavenly economy with infinite resources that never lose value and always reap a mighty reward. And while the world is asking, “How could this happen in our global economy?” we who trust the Word of God for truth see unparalleled opportunities and a season of great reward in our immediate future.

That is why I am more convinced than ever that, as we complete 2008 and move into 2009, how you respond to this unprecedented season of miracles during the next few weeks might very well determine what happens for you in the coming year! For as you apply the principles throughout the Word of God, you can rise above all the challenges you face during 2008!

Impossible circumstances call for unusual actions!… What about you? You may face dire circumstances, but what do you have in your hands that God can use to turn everything around?,,,

Today is a difficult season, yet God is telling His people to pour out faith, not hide it. Put it into action, regardless of the circumstances surrounding you. As you act in faith, you will see results as Isaac did in Genesis 26—from planting seed during a horrible famine to receiving a supernatural abundance—and as the widow and her sons did in 2 Kings 4, pouring out the oil and watching it multiply again and again!

Now is your time. Disregard the reports of famine, destruction, lack, and hopelessness. Your situation is not nearly as bad as Isaac’s or the widow’s were, yet they stepped out…

As you plant your most generous and precious seed today, you will be acting in faith and moving into a new dimension which Seed November Lettercan unlock the door to great blessings in your life, for our Lord Jesus declared, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again” (Luke 6:38).

Sow your seed with mighty expectations for today and the future! Now is the time, for your greatest days are ahead. Your future is so much greater than your past and your tomorrows can be more prosperous than anything you have known before!

For we know it is “not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts” (Zechariah 4:6)…

Preaching the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ,
teaching the unchanging Word of God,
and expecting the mighty and miraculous
power of the Holy Spirit,

Pastor Benny Hinn Nov 2008

As you send your seed-gift today, claim your debt cancellation by asking for our Debt Cancellation stickers, designed exclusively for Benny Hinn Ministries partners and friends. Featuring powerful statements and verses, these stickers proclaim mighty promises for canceling your debt. Peel and place them on your correspondence, as well as on your mortgage, loan, and credit card bills as you seek God’s financial breakthrough!

If you are trying to lose some weight, or have ingested dangerous chemicals by accident, and you need to vomit all of the contents in your stomach then you can click HERE to read the entire simony letter. Unfortunately, there is more.

“Preaching the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ…” Wow. Even Hasatan is more truthful than that. “Debt Cancellation Stickers…” Really? Really?!? There is a part of me that wants to say to people who are struggling in the current economic environment that if you give your money to Benny and things just get worse; well, you kinda deserve it. It’s a good thing I’m more compassionate than that. ;)

This is so staggeringly stupid, such a gross distortion of the Bible, so built on the worship of Mammon, and conflated with the assumptions of twenty-first century American materialism that it beggars the intellectual faculties. Christians simply need to stop getting robbed by this man.

We need another Luther to shake the people awake from the lies of “Christian” wolves posing as sheep.

It’s not enough that Benny was robbing and stealing from people when they had excess. Almost anyone can do that (and we may have fun tracking their failures in the next few months. It has already started with the painfully comic Bishop Weekes and the painfully brutal Paula White). Nope, that wasn’t enough for Benny.

Now he’s stepping forth in a time when many may experience some hard economic difficulties to steal people’s very last penny! The unmitigated Mammonianity is shocking.

If Benny truly believed ANY of the lies that tumble out of his mouth every time he opens it he would give away all of his money and possessions today (hopefully to Mike & Elena Elliott). By his “heavenly” math and economy he would only be a hundred times richer when God canceled any debt he had, and blessed him with a hundred times more funds than he gave away.


Music Monday: Crowded House

Here is Crowded House with a song called "She Called Up" From their Time on Earth album. This was filmed at Neil Finn's old primary school in New Zealand.

A Letter To The Richmond Football Club

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Dear Richmond Football Club,

2 finals in 26 years and this year we are hoping that this could be the one where we play footy in September.

Enough is enough - This is the final straw. I've been a Richmond supporter since I was 5 (26 years now) and this is pathetic - RFC sucks bigger than our new Dyson Vacuum cleaner (Which ironically is yellow and black). Richmond Football Club you have lost the trust of the supporters and members!!!

Does anyone at the Richmond Football Club think of the Richmond supporters and realise the crap that gets flicked at them on Mondays when they turn up to work? (not to mention the Facebook messages and SMS'es).

I'm one of the lucky Richmond supporters who decided to not buy a membership. I'm so embarrassed to be a Richmond supporter right now that I'm thinking of changing teams and have already started asking for people's preferences on Facebook. I'd even pick *gasp* Collingwood. I would like to see a team I go for have a chance to play finals footy once more - even if they don't make it to the Grand Final. Is that too much to ask for? I'm so embarrassed that I don't even have the guts to go see a game live.

I'm not spending $100 for fuel and tickets to go all the way to Melbourne and drive though Melbourne traffic, spend $10 at Maccas on the Calder Freeway, get charged $10 for a Citylink pass, get charged an extra $10 for parking at the MCG, pay $15 for a pie and coke, wait 45 minutes to get out of the car park at the end of the night, and then finally take a 2 hour trip home back to Bendigo just to see my team lose. I'm sure there are others that feel this way.

Here's a simple solution: Why don't you give bonuses to those players who perform and cut the pay of those players who don't?

Ask yourself when you go out there this weekend: What would Jack Dyer do?

Well thats all I have to say about that.

Note to Self #4

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Note to Self:
No matter how old you get, Never ever get Botox!

Time To Get Out The Parachute Pants - Its Hammer Time

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IN what could be the most cringeworthy but fun tour in years, Vanilla Ice is planning to hit the road with fellow former chart-topper MC Hammer.

The pair are nutting out a world tour and they have pencilled in shows in Australia.
"It is not set in stone at this point, but it is happening," the Ice Man said while in Melbourne.
"We are, in about nine months, going to come through Australia with a big world tour -- MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice."

Ice, otherwise known as Rob Van Winkle, performed at the V Festival at the Showgrounds on Saturday and was a huge hit.

Ice was performing on one of the smaller stages and many fans who wanted to see the comeback king could not get near the area.

"The area was packed out by quite young fans who wanted to see him," a festival goer said.
"The funny thing is, many of them would have been too young to have any idea of how big he was when Ice Ice Baby was a hit."

Note to Self #3

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Note to self… Playing Guitar Hero does not = talent

Note to self #2

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Faking a birthday is awesome... even cooler on April Fools Day

Exhibit A:

Note to Self #1

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Do not store plutonium in Tupperware. It is for exclusive use in the DeLorean only.

Collingwood Joke of the moment

Q. What do you call a 30 yr old woman in a Collingwood jumper?
A. Nanna

Ben Cousins relishing facing Judd at MCG

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Ben Cousins says he could not have planned a better way to resume his AFL career than squaring off against fellow former West Coast skipper Chris Judd at a packed MCG.

The return of the 30-year-old Brownlow Medallist - 18 months after he last played - and the clash with his former premiership captain has created enormous public interest in Thursday night's AFL season opener.

A crowd of up to 90,000 is forecast for the Carlton-Richmond encounter, threatening the home and away attendance record between the two sides of 85,673, set 29 years ago.

Ticket sales are well ahead of those for the grand final rematch between Geelong and Hawthorn the following night, which is expected to draw closer to 65,000.

And prize Richmond recruit Cousins was licking his lips at the prospect of opposing Judd for the first time.

"I remember 12 months ago that I was sitting down at a mate's place, obviously it was Judd's first game (with the Blues), I was preparing to watch Richmond-Carlton, it's a great rivalry," Cousins said on Monday.

"To sit back and watch him play his first game, I had a lot of interest in the game, it was fantastic.

"Twelve months later to be getting ready to play against the skip in the same game, I couldn't have asked for it to work out any better."

Cousins said the pair, who are friends, had not spoken about their upcoming duel.

"I haven't spoken to him for a week-and-a-half, let the dust settle, I'll see him out there Thursday night," he told Nova FM.

"But I'm really looking forward to playing against him, probably not quite as much as I'd look forward to playing with him.

"But they're the great challenges in footy, to come up against Carlton and Judd in particular is exciting."

Cousins, who performed solidly in two pre-season matches with the Tigers, said his pre-season had been ideal, particularly given the late start he made after being drafted in December.

"I've done the work that I like to do, not just physically but from a mental sense to know that I'm right, so come Thursday night I'll be ready to go," he said.

Even before his comeback match, Cousins was relishing being part of football again.

The recovering drug addict likened the time spent in limbo between being sacked by the Eagles in late 2007 and drafted by Richmond last December to being "stuck in a cell".

"I'm really enjoying just rocking up to footy and having something to do every day, I'm back on auto-pilot, places to be, just a bit of structure," he said.

"People look back and think it was 12 months of holiday, but especially when you're dealing with what I'm dealing with you've actually got to second guess every decision you make."

Carlton coach Brett Ratten said several of the Blues' coaching staff flew to the Gold Coast to watch the Tigers' last practice match against Brisbane and said Cousins showed signs of his old class.

But he said while the fans and media were focussed mainly on Judd and Cousins, the respective sides had plenty else to worry about.

"Richmond have actually got another 20-odd players that we'll focus on, so Ben will be a part of it," he said.

"But I tell you the impact Matthew Richardson has on the Richmond football team is pretty big, Brown's performance last week was very good, Nathan Brown was in sparkling touch, he looked like he was back to career-best form up in Brisbane.

"And I suppose the way Richmond hold back and their backmen don't push out of that back 50 too much, we'll have to have a look at that too, how we can score.

"And that doesn't involve Ben, but we'll keep an eye on him as well."

Ratten guaranteed star forward Brendan Fevola would play, despite bruising his heel in the Blues' last practice match and said midfielder Heath Scotland was likely to play despite a limited pre-season.

Carlton have four players in contention to make their AFL debuts, with Mitch Robinson, Sam Jacobs, Aaron Joseph and Jeff Garlett all under consideration.

5 Rules for life

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1.) Be happy.
Our feelings are our guide through life – an inner compass to keep us on the right path. Every moment we face choices about how to act, and our compass is there to keep us safe - we know we are doing the right thing when we feel good. This good feeling is not a "high" or a "buzz", but a deep and wholesome sense of joy and peace. When you have this, everything else works. The most important thing I have ever learned is that our own happiness is the key to everything.

2.) Pull your own strings.
Happiness, like everything, is a choice. Nothing outside has the power to make you unhappy unless you allow it to be so. You are in control of your experience of life. Everyone is different and only you can know what is right, because only you have access to your feelings. So you need to put yourself first, and let others do the same. People sometimes think this is selfish, but there is nothing more selfish than telling other people how to live.

3.) Embrace change.
Change is the one thing you can be sure of. Every moment is new and unique, and this is what makes life so wonderful – there is always something else to experience. Why cling to the past when there is so much still ahead of us? In truth, we have no choice but to dive into the ever changing current of life, and resisting it only causes pain.

4.) Don’t worry.
People worry constantly about anything and everything. We worry about the future, we worry about the state of the world, and we worry about what other people think of us. But worry achieves nothing and we cannot change the world, only ourselves. Dance your own dance – do what makes you happy, and let others do the same. Don’t take things so seriously. All will be well.

5.) Be grateful.
Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman emperor-philosopher, wrote, "When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." Where you place your attention is a matter of choice. There are many wonderful things in our lives – choose to focus on them and be grateful for them, and they will expand to fill your experience. To be grateful is to be happy, and to be happy is the purpose of living.

10 best Ralph Wiggum quotes

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Son of the police chief, Ralph Wiggum isn't the most popular kid in school. Or the brightest. Or the most athletic. His random, dim-witted remarks, however, do make him the funniest.

1. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
2. Me fail English? That's unpossible.
3. [to a wolf] Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies...
4. My cat's breath smells like cat food.
5. I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
6. The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.
7. Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office.
8. Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!
9. I bent my wookie.
10. And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.

Ice is back with a brand new apology - What about everyone else?

Vanilla Ice today issued an official online apology for, well, ‘everything,’ and while the video is clearly an intentional joke, Mr. Van Winkle comes off sounding alarmingly more genuine than Michael Phelps did in his recent sorry speech.

Personally, I don’t see any reason for amusing early-90s cultural anomalies to feel any shame for existing — I mean, the movie Encino Man exists and will continue to exist for all of time, and what’s the harm in that?

This got me thinking about who else should apologise for musical crimes against humanity.

1. Michael Bolton

What did anyone see in this guy?

2. Bros
What happened to these guys? They made wearing Jean Jackets with T-Shirts cool.

3. Billy Ray Cirus

I'm not against bad harircuts. I'm against bad music

4. Milli Vanilli
I don't blame it on the rain. I blame it on bad miming

5. The Hoff
Maybe he should have just stuck to doing Knight Rider

6. New Kids On the Block
If you didn't know by now, NKOTB have now reformed. My question is WHY? Now the 15 year old girls who used to Idolise them are all grown up. Who wants to hear 35 year old women fainting over these guys like they were 16 yr old's at a 1987 Michael Jackson concert. All I can say is God help us

Honourable Mention goes to... Celine Dion for killing an ACDC classic.
My Question is WHY? What else can I say about this? Can anyone actually watch this without throwing up in their mouth? This sounds like a cat getting run over by a lawn mower. I'd prefer to get a chip inserted in my head that plays William Hung's 'She Bangs' over and over on repeat than this. This video proves why there will never be a Celine Dion version of Guitar Hero due to the really bad air guitar. (I'll give $10 to anyone who actually liked this - Cheques will not be honoured)

I think I'm going to do a Christian version of this list. Suggestions can be left in the comments.

Lowndes & Whincup 2009 Livery is here

Here are some photos of Jamie Whincup's car for the 2009 V8 Supercar Championship. Looks a little bit like last years livery but lets face it, Team Vodafone is THE best team out there. They’ve got the BEST drivers, the QUICKEST pit stops and GREAT mechanics TOO.

Collingwood Joke of the Moment

Q. Two collingwood supporters are sitting in a car with no music. Who is driving?
A. The policeman

Top 5 Friday: Why I Can't Think of Anything To Write

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Almost Inspirational Thought for Today

If you have to make a sign that says "Free hugs/high fives/glomps" then chances are nobody is going to want to touch you. Begging for human contact amongst a throng of smelly nerds is about as low on the social ladder as you can get.

TV TV Please Come Back To Me

Back in October we decided to make an investment and purchase a Samsung 50 inch plasma TV. We affectionately called it Sammy. Sammy was purchased along with a Sony home entertainment system with 5.1 surround sound. About 3 weeks ago Sammy decided to stop working. Thankfully because of our 5 year warranty we called Samsung who gave us the number of a repair guy in our town. We called him up and he came and collected the TV. 3 Weeks later Sammy still isn't fixed. Firstly the guy said it would take a week, then I find out last week he hadn't even got to Sammy yet since there are a large number of TV's that need repairing thanks to the 40C degree plus heat. Apparently the friendly Sales Assistant in the store forgot to tell us that TV's don't like heat and we should move to the north pole if we really want a plasma TV.

Whats my point in saying all this? My point is where is my TV? I'm really starting to get worried that I'll never see Sammy again. The NAB cup has already started. Richmond plays Collingwood on Thursday night (yep 2 days away) and I would like to watch Ben Cousin's first game as a Tiger in all Sammy's 50 inch High Definition glory instead of on a 20 inch computer screen. Just seeing
Collingwood lose is worth the price of a new TV. Does the repair guys know how important TV is? I couldn't live my life without TV - That's why we brought the biggest TV in Myers. I'm really beginning to understand how Amish people feel. That's all Amish people really are - people who have their TV in the shop being repaired. I've had nightmares about Sammy doing a runner and appearing on Crime Stoppers or even worse - On the next series of the simple life with Paris Hilton.

I miss Sammy so much that I decided to write her a poem:

Sammy Sammy where can you be?
Why won't you come back to me?
I miss your 50 inch screen
And you're no where to be seen.

I want to watch the footy on your HD screen
But you're no where to be seen.
When you come on back to me
We will be one big happy family

The Sony home theatre is missing you
Look at what you're putting him through
Sammy Sammy where can you be?
I hope some day you'll come back to me

Now I know how the father in the parable of the Prodigal son in the Bible feels. Here I am waiting and hoping one day I'm going to get the phone call telling me Sammy is all fixed but I think she's out partying like Paris Hilton on Red Cordial. If anyone has seen Sammy then let me know. Watch this space for updates.

Feel free to leave your best wishes for Sammy in the comments.
If anyone has any idea's for a name for our Sony home entertainment system then also leave your entry in the comments.

Totally Awesome

Its comforting to know that no matter what you do in life it will never be as awesome as this picture

I think I'm addicted to Facebook

We decided after 2 years of anti-facebook to sign up and give it a whirl. Elena and I finally have a Facebook account. All I can say is I'm impressed and it has taken over my life (I only signed up 12 hours ago). Interesting to look for people I went to school with and to see how much everyone had changed. I even found one guy I went to school with who now looks like Peter Helliar from Rove Live.

Now that I'm set up on Facebook it makes me wonder how much is too much. Do I really need to change my status every two seconds? Does everyone really need to know: "Mike is on Facebook", "Mike is watching Seinfeld", "Mike is eating a Tim Tam", "Mike is being awesome", "Mike just got off the computer and went to the fridge to get a pepsi and realised that he has no Milk for tomorrows breakfast", "Mike is at IGA buying Milk", "Mike is at the checkout and checking to see how many friends he has", "Mike is driving while checking Facebook". Where does it end? I can totally understand now why it is addictive and a procrastinators dream come true. I guess if I made the local newspaper the article on myself would read like this:

Facebook Ruined My Life

Mike Elliott, 31, said 'Ever since I signed up, I have been addicted to Facebook.'

'I started playing, and just felt the urge to continue when I didn't complete it. Then when I eventually saw those how many friends I had, the buzz was so great. That was when it started.'

Mike misfortunes included loosing two jobs for misuse of the computers, and he even almost missed his wedding.

'That was really embarrassing,' he said. 'I just thought I'd be able to quickly log on and change my status before I had to be at the church, and next thing I know my best man was knocking at the front door leaving five minutes to get across town.'

However, the happly married couple's life turned to turmoil when Mike went back on his word and failed to be there at the hospital 7 months ago when his wife was giving birth.

'I'm really upset about that,' Mike said, 'I really wanted to be there when Elena gave birth, but my virtual gifts from so called friends was nowhere to be seen.'

'It's just not good enough,' says Michael's wife, Elena. 'He is always on that computer checking Facebook. Since I've known him, he's gone through six mouses, wearing out the left button on each of them.'

It was on hearing the news of his impending divorce that has caused Mike to sue Facebook.

'It's just ruined my life completely. There's not even a helpline or anything for me. If I was on someone could help me, or if I was an alcoholic someone would. I feel discriminated against because of my facebook addiction, and it's all Facebook's fault.'

Mike has said that if Microsoft do not pay up his requested compensation sum of $20,000,000, then he will be going to do further measures.
If you want to add me as your Facebook friend then click feel free.

Here is a catchy Facebook song

Why I Am NOT A “Go Getter Make It Happen Guy”

Aww… nevermind.

Almost Inspirational Thought for Today

I don't mind helping people. As long as they helped me and paid me in advance and promise me plenty of "breaks" with coffee and snack food. Come to think of it, I really enjoy helping people.

Almost Inspirational Thought for Today

When I'm down, one thing that really gives me a lift is dreaming that I have lots of friends and lots of money. But then some of those friends start to want loans because they are going through tough times and they have nothing to eat and no place to stay. That makes me even more depressed because I don't really have the money -- I was just dreaming and the money wasn't real. I hope my friends understand.

Almost Inspirational Thought for Today

Clean out the garage this week and make a new friend out of the extra wood and other things you were going to throw away. It's just an idea, but it sure helped me prove to myself that I really am good with people.

The Adventures of Richoman: Richoman Saves The Day

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MATTHEW Richardson (Richoman) donned his Richmond Superman cape again last night as he virtually single-handedly stole the opening round NAB Cup match from under Fremantle’s nose at Subiaco Oval.

In a match that swung wildly after half time, the Tigers booted seven unanswered goals to turn a 23-point half time deficit into a 16-point lead midway through the final term.However, Fremantle refused to lie down and produced a stirring fightback to surge back in front by nine points with just seven minutes left on the clock.

They booted five supergoals for the match but it was to be Richardson who had the last say.He snapped the final two goals of the game from close range to steal back the lead, the final goal coming with just 52 seconds left to play.Then he ran deep into defence and took a match-saving mark 15m from the Fremantle goal with just 29 seconds left.

The 34-year-old started on the wing and again thrived on the freedom he found on the vast expanses of Subiaco Oval.The final score was 1.12.8 (89) to 5.5.11 (86).but the first half belonged to Fremantle.They were 28-points ahead after just 12 minutes and it took until the 15-minute mark for Jack Riewoldt to put Richmond’s first goal on the board.

The home side benefitted in the first half from two 50m penalties that handed them nine-point supergoals.A third supergoal from Andrew Browne put the icing on the cake of a strong first half in which Richmond paid the price for some errant early kicking as well as those two indiscretions that cost supergoals.

The Tigers also missed their first four shots at goal and overused handball, particularly early in the match.

Fremantle sprung a surprise by putting Antoni Grover in attack alongside Dean Solomon and the move worked early. The two tough guys of the side ensured fierce contests in the attacking arc and their vigour rubbed off on the youthful brigade.Solomon kicked the first goal of the match, a nine-pointer, thanks to a 50m penalty. And Grover added the second of the match after marking a pin-point kick from Paul Hasleby.

The quarter-time margin was 18 points but Richmond made the early running in the second term with consecutive goals to Brown before Fremantle snuck the last two goals of the half to open a handy break.

The Tigers burst out after the long break with four goals in the first eight minutes of the quarter through Riewoldt, Mitch Morton, Brown and rookie Robin Nahas.

Fremantle stemmed the run-on for the next 10 minutes but Morton added the Tigers fifth for the term just before three quarter-time to give them a four-point lead at the last change.

Almost Inspirational Thought for Today

I bet it would be depressing to finally graduate from plumbers school only to discover that it had nothing to do with your dream of picking that fruit. Oh well, back to school you go fruit guy.

What are you doing with $900?

A GIANT $42 billion stimulus package has passed the Senate following a week of drawn-out negotiations between the government and crossbenchers.

My question is how what are you going to do with $900. A new plasma TV? Insurance or Rego for the car? or just save it for a rainy day? Leave your response in the comments

NAB Cup Bushfire Appeal game

Just finished watching the NAB Cup Bushfire Appeal game between the Western Bulldogs and Essendon - By the way the final score was 1.8.13 (70) to 1.8.12 (69). I can't believe that the Red Cross has raised over $100 million in a week (Actually $102 million at the time of writing this). I'm amazed the way everyone has pulled together to really pull off an awesome game with all the players and coaches from all 16 teams running fund raising activities at the game tonight. Even the NAB was donating $5,000 for every goal kicked (16 goals = $80,000). It really goes to show you the Aussie Spirit is alive and Aussies do really stand with their mates in times of trouble. I have never felt more proud to be Australian than I am right now. Awesome work everyone!

Babies and Teeth

Something freaky happened today. Elena, Madeline, and I were on the bus and we noticed another person with their baby in a pram. We both thought that this baby was about 6 months old. I looked at this baby and this baby looked backed at me and talked to me with a bable and all of a sudden this baby revealed a big set of adult teeth. This was the scariest thing I've ever seen. It reminded me of a sketch on sesame street where Kermit the Frog was wearing teeth while helping Grover with a demonstration. What is a 6 month old baby doing with a full set of teeth? Maybe this kid wasn't a 6 month old but a really premature 4 year old.

Here is that video from Sesame Street

Almost Inspirational Thought for Today

Lend someone a helping hand today. An act of true selflessness is such and honest and pure gift from one person to another. What a great encouragement that helping hand can be to another person. And it can really help when that person finds out that it was you who dented their car.

Almost Inspirational Thought for Today

If you are standing in a line today, allow the person standing behind you to "cut" in front of you. That will make that person feel really special. Then to make it even more special, tell that person that you feel safe and secure with them leading the way for the line. After you are out of the line, continue to follow that person. Follow them home or wherever they go next. I think this will show that you really have confidence in their leadership.

Victorian bushfire survivor, Sam the koala, a global star

SAM became the most famous koala in the world when firefighter David Tree stopped to give her a drink amid the devastation.

Pictures of Sam, who turned out to be female, travelled around the globe and featured in major newspapers including The New York Times, London's The Sun and on CNN.

The image provided a much-needed picture of hope in a week filled with news of despair. Yesterday Sam was recovering in Mountain Ash Wildlife Shelter.

Carer Jenny Shaw said she suffered burns on her paws and was in a lot of pain, but was on the road to recovery.

She was put on an IV drip and is on antibiotics and pain relief treatment.

"She is lovely - very docile - and she has already got an admirer. A male koala keeps putting his arms around her," Ms Shaw said. "She will need regular attention and it will be a long road to recovery, but she should be able to be released back into the wild in about five months."

Mr Tree said he was surprised by the reaction to the photograph, which was snapped by a fellow CFA volunteer on a mobile phone.

He said he was in the middle of backburning at Mirboo North when he saw the stricken koala. "I could see she had sore feet and was in trouble, so I pulled over the fire truck. She just plonked herself down, as if to say 'I'm beat'," he said.

"I offered her a drink and she drank three bottles.

"The most amazing part was when she grabbed my hand. I will never forget that."

Mr Tree and his brigade then received an emergency call-out to save a house, but minutes later Sam was picked up by wildlife carers.

She is one of 22 koalas, 14 ringtail possums, several wallabies and eastern grey kangaroos that have been handed into Gippsland carers.

Anyone who finds injured wildlife should call Wildlife Connect on 13 11 11.

Here you go Mate - Hope from the Ashes

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Photos from the Bendigo Bush fires

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Here are photos from the Bendigo Bushfire that my folks took. Fortunately all the fires are out now. We are safe.

Hellfire Heartache

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EIGHTY-FOUR people are confirmed dead in Victoria's bushfires, far surpassing the state's toll of 47 in the 1983 Ash Wednesday blazes. Among them are former Nine Network newsreader Brian Naylor and his wife, Moiree, at their Kinglake West property.

At least 640 homes have been destroyed, more than 300,000 hectares burnt out, and some fires may take weeks to contain as the blazes threaten to figure in history as the worst bushfires and deadliest natural disaster Australia has ever experienced. Entire towns have been wiped out and communities in Dederang, Taggerty and Glenburn in the state’s north were still under threat on Sunday night, almost 36 hours after the first fires were sparked by record heat and winds on Saturday.

“Hell and all its fury has visited the good people of Victoria in the last 24 hours,” Mr Rudd told reporters in the fire-ravaged Yarra Valley.

“Many good people now lie dead. Many others lie injured.

“This is an appalling tragedy for Victoria but, because of that, it’s an appalling tragedy for the nation.

“The nation grieves with Victoria tonight.”

In an address to the state, Victorian Premier John Brumby said “out there it’s been hell on earth”. He defiantly declared Victoria would put its “communities back together” and “recover”. Authorities believe some of the blazes were deliberately lit and police say arsonists could face murder charges and a maximum 25 years in prison.

The toll already surpasses the 47 deaths in Victoria in the 1983 Ash Wednesday fires, and the Black Friday blaze in 1939 which claimed 71 lives and the overall death toll of 75 from the Ash Wednesday blazes. Ten people remain in a critical condition in hospital with serious burns.

The Kinglake region, about 80km north of Melbourne, has been the worst hit - 550 homes have been razed and 55 deaths had been reported in the area as of 6pm on Sunday as the furious 120,000-hectare inferno, known as the Kinglake Complex, gave locals little chance.

Touring the Yarra Valley firegrounds with the premier, Mr Rudd announced a joint federal-state $10 million emergency relief fund for the victims.

He said emergency Centrelink payments were available to those needing immediate financial assistance.

- with AAP

To view a live update map of the bushfires in Victoria click here

Death toll in Australian Bushfires believed to be over 100, fires still threating homes

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The latest reports from bushfire ravaged Victoria indicate the death toll may be over 100.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd warned the nation to “prepare itself for even worse news” as authorities are still unable to account for dozens, possibly hundreds of people in the chaos left by the fires that have ravaged some 400,000 hectares (988,000 acres) of the State.

Among the dead this evening is former popular Channel 9 newsreader Brian Naylor.

The Country Fire Authority continues to fight fires on several fronts, including a fire threatening the Loy Yang power station which provides power to Melbourne (I’m still typing this, so the lights are still on in Melbourne at 9:30pm AEDT). The Kinglake fire is currently threatening Taggerty and Yea. A fire that was earlier threatening Beechworth is still of concern.

Disgustingly, arsonists are being blamed for at least some of the fires, with reports that fires that had been successfully put out had later been re-lit.

Over 3,700 evacuated residents have registered with the Red Cross, with many more expected, and hospitals in Melbourne have been inundated with burns cases, many of them severe.

If you’re concerned about loved ones, with Australian the line for information is 1800 727 077.

Donations to the Victorian Bushfire Relief Fund can be made at any National Australia Bank. BSB: 082 001 - Account: 860 046 797

The Salvation Army Bush Fire Appeal: follow the links here.

The Australian Red Cross Blood Service is desperately appealing for blood donations - 131 495

Here’s a map of the latest fire fronts, and recorded deaths:

View Larger Map

Victorian Bushfires the worst ever!

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The death toll in the raging Australian bushfires has risen to at least 84, making it the country's worst fire disaster.

Police believe more bodies will be found in small towns razed by wildfires in the state of Victoria, the hardest hit area with more than 700 homes destroyed.

Thousands of firefighters battled for a second day today to contain the blazes, which witnesses said reached four storeys high and raced across the land like speeding trains, spewing hot embers as far as the horizon. The most serious fires are burning north of the Victorian capital, Melbourne.

The army was being deployed to help out and the country's prime minister, Kevin Rudd, announced immediate emergency aid of A$10m (£4.5m).

"Hell and its fury have visited the good people of Victoria," said Rudd on a visit to the disaster zone. "The nation grieves with Victoria."

"It went through like a bullet," Darren Webb-Johnson, from the small rural town of Kinglake, told Sky TV. "The service station went, the takeaway store across the road went, cylinders [exploded] left, right and centre, and 80% of the town burnt down to the ground."

Many of those confirmed dead were trapped in cars trying to flee, while state broadcaster the ABC showed pictures of the small town of Marysville razed.

"Marysville, which was one the loveliest townships in Victoria, if not Australia, has just about been wiped out," said Ivor Jones, a pastor whose own home in the town was destroyed.

The fires are burning around towns about 50 miles (80km) north of Melbourne, hitting both semi-urban and rural areas. More than 20 people were being treated for serious burns, local officials said.

"These fires won't be out for some days," said John Brumby, the premier of Victoria, as he appealed for blood donations for burns victims. "It's about as horrific as it could get," he said.

At the town of Wandong, about 30 miles north of Melbourne, one survivor said he had found the body of a friend in the laundry of a burned-out house. Another survivor, 65-year-old Rosaleen Dove, said she had fought successfully for seven hours with her husband to defend her home on Saturday. "We made it. I never thought I could jump fences so quickly," she said.

All of the deaths, confirmed and suspected, are believed by police to have been yesterday. Police said 12 were people killed around Kinglake, the worst-affected area so far known.

Marie Jones said she was staying at a friend's house in the town when a badly burned man arrived with his infant daughter, saying his wife and other child had been killed.

"He was so badly burnt," she told the Melbourne Age website.

"He had skin hanging off him everywhere and his little girl was burnt, but not as badly as her dad, and he just came down and he said: 'Look, I've lost my wife, I've lost my other kid, I just need you to save [my daughter]'."

Fires were still burning across about 770 sq miles (2,000 sq km) in areas north of Melbourne, with a few towns still under threat, the ABC said on its website. Brumby said 26 fires remained out of control in Victoria.

Bushfires are an annual natural event in Australia, but this year a combination of scorching weather, drought and tinder-dry bush has created prime conditions and raised pressure on the government's climate change policy.

Australia's previous deadliest bushfires were the so-called Ash Wednesday fires in 1983 when 75 people were killed and more than 3,000 homes destroyed in the southern states of Victoria and South Australia.

Live-Action Mario Amazingness

Silly fun live-action recreation of Mario.

Are You Ready for Parenthood?

Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real life experience of being a mother or father.

  1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag chair down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, remove 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local drugstore, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper and read it for the last time. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it - it's the last time in your life that you will have all of the answers.

  2. To discover how the nights feel, walk around the living room from 5pm till 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds. At 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12am and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until lam. Put the alarm on for 3am. As you can't go back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark till 4am. Put the alarm on for Sam. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

  3. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish stick behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

  4. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.

  5. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a can of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas tree. Last, take a milk container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of CoCoPuffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations, you have just qualified for a place on the play group committee.

  6. Forget the Miata and buy the mini-van. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size bag of chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There! Perfect!

  7. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it again. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand until all of the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back in the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

  8. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.

  9. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. A fully grown goat is excellent. If you intent to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weeks groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this DO NOT even contemplate having children.

  10. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Froot Loops and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half of the Froot Loops are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old child.

  11. Learn the names of every character from Barney and Friends, Sesame Street, and Power Rangers. When you find yourself singing, "I love you, you love me" at work, now!, you finally qualify as a parent.

How to stream movies from your PC to Xbox 360

Microsoft XboxWe have set up a home theatre system with a brand new 50 inch wide screen plasma and 5.1 surround sound. We also have an xbox 360 and wanted to get the most out of it by streaming the movies on our PC.

Once you’ve squirreled your movie collection on your PC you’ll want to reap the benefits.

What better way than to exploit the powers of your next-gen Xbox 360 to stream an endless flow of flicks to your TV. Here’s how…

Step 1: Get networking

To stream movies from your PC to Xbox 360 they’ll both need to be connected to the same network. To do that, you’ll need a router. It’ll also need to be near your Xbox 360 so you can connect it using the included Ethernet cable. If that’s not possible, you’ll need to buy a wireless adapter for Microsoft’s console in order to get hooked up.

Your PC will also need to connect to the network, so if it doesn’t have a network card or built in wireless, you’ll want to grab an add-on to get it connected.

Step 2: Run Media Player

To share videos with your Xbox 360 you’ll need to be running Windows Media Player 11. If you don’t already have it, run Windows Update from the start menu, and rest easy for a minute as it installs.

Once it’s downloaded and ready for action, power-up your Xbox 360. Then start your PC running Windows Media Player. Right, now click “Library” and “Media Sharing”. Next select “Share my media” and choose “OK”. Wait for your PC to detect the Xbox, then select it and click “Allow” and “OK”.

On your console, select the media menu, then choose Video, Music or Pictures. There you’ll see the same content from your PC. If it doesn’t show up, hit the “X” button on your controller, and select your PC. Now you’re good to go and start streaming movies.

Step 3: Extend your Media Centre

As well as streaming videos from a normal PC, if you’ve got a Media Centre PC you can use the Xbox 360 to extend the experience to the big screen.

That means live TV, recorded shows and all the usual extras. Just make sure both machines are on the same network using Step 1 above, and select Media Centre from the media menu of the Xbox 360. If you want to record digital TV your PC will need a TV card or a USB digital TV adapter like we have. We paid less than $100 for ours. This is a way better alternative for us since our DVD recorder has decided not to work anymore after 18 months. Why pay $500 for a dvd recorder when you can pay less than $100 to do the same thing.

Other Must have accessories

Wireless WIFI - The Xbox 360 doesn’t come with Wi-Fi built in, so connecting it to your home network means keeping it close to a wired router, or buying this add-on. The latter will make things much easier.

Plasma TV - Streaming videos from your PC to an Xbox is only worth it if your TV is bigger than your PC’s screen. Check out LCD TVs, as they’re generally cheaper than plasma versions, but can still be huge, while remaining great value.

Xbox 360 Remote - Unless you want to watch movies with a control pad in your hands, you’ll need to grab a universal remote. Microsoft make an official remote for the console, but there are cheaper 3rd party versions available too.

Music Monday: Proclaimers 500 miles

You can't tell me that this song isn't addictive

Got Milk?

The question is what haven't we been up to? I can write this post like millions of others and say stuff like: "Today was an exciting day, I fed my pet iguana and watched my favourite show I Love Lucy" But I won't. We won't tell you boring stuff like "Today I had breakfast. I poured the rest of my sultana bran into the bowl, opened the fridge to get the milk and found that I was out so I went down to the supermarket and...."you get the idea.

Whats my point? Always have milk in the fridge and don't forget the spoon! You'll thank me tomorrow morning when you make breakfast for your 3 screaming kids who constantly scream "Daddy, I'm hungry, I want breakfast". So what do you do? Get shoes on all the kids and take them to McDonald's, find a car park, and spend $40 on breakfast for 6 of your family members when you could have gone down to the shop the night before and actually got it and saved yourself $35 or so.

So you thought there was a point to this post?
Well there's not... Sorry to disappoint you!

Have a nice day!

Embarassing Story

I have always had injection phobia and the fear of getting a shot has even caused me to pass out from the stress. In the 7th grade, it was "shot day" and the nurse would periodically call out names over the intercom informing the unlucky ones of their impending doom. I wasn't paying real close attention when the next name was called, but the girl in front of me got up, left the room and was gone for a suitable length of time. When she came back, the room was very quiet and I spoke up (so everyone could clearly hear me) and asked her if it hurt much. She gave me a really strange look and the teacher seemed outraged that I should ask such a question. Everyone else just snickered. At that point, the teacher politely pointed out to me that my fellow student had just returned from the john.

What A Trooper

Last night I found my old Storm Trooper outfit from when I was in Starwars Epsiode 4. The first Starwars. You are probably wondering which Storm Trooper I was. I was the one that bumped his head as he came through the door into the room where C3PO and R2-D2 was. It hurt like hell.

What you will never see or hear is that it knocked me out and I got a bad concussion. I was rushed to hospital and they released me later on in the afternoon. Unfortunately it kept production on hold that they got a replacement storm trooper. It was my clone. Remember Starwars Episode 2 - Attack of the clones? (this is the one before the first Starwars). You have no idea how far fact seperates itself from fiction. You see I was one of those clones. George Lucas wanted the authenticity of real clones and I nominated myself for the cloning program.

My other clone lives in America and works for Donald Trump. He got his break after Donald Trump saw him as one of the rejects in the crowd on American Idol. Unlike my other clone counterpart, I can sing.

Alrighty, so I don't have any proof of any of this. I don't have proof that I was the guy under the helmet. But I did end up getting this photo of me on the can. This was taken like over 20 years ago. I was at one of the secret scene locations for starwars. I was taking a toilet break for goodness sake and they found out where I was and walked right in and took this photo. I chased after the guy and proceeded to bash the crap out of him and I took his camera and got this photo developed.


My parents

Here is some photos of my folks:

This is My Dad

This is my mum

Teach a cat new tricks

I've been teaching my cat martial arts so if one day someone breaks in when we're not here he can defend our place. I think his training is coming along well. Soon he'll be black belt. See the photo I took?

Music Monday: Australia Day Edition

Welcome to Music Monday

Here is the best Aussie Song ever: Down Under by Men At Work

According to the Herald Sun the worst songs are as follows

1. Tamara Jaber: Ooh Aah
THERE'S so much wrong with this record. Firstly the lyrics: Jaber, who was discovered in Popstars flop stars Scandal'us actually sings ‘‘Ooh aah, I lost my bra, I left it in my boyfriend's car'' and ‘‘Boys are rotten made outta cotton, girls are sexy made outta Pepsi''. Inspiring stuff. Then there was the nepotism factor. Jaber's song and big-budget video were paid for by boyfriend (now husband) Kyle Sandilands, who released it on his King Kyle record label. Why? Because no one else wanted it. Her album is still to surface and the only person who played this song on radio was - surprise surprise - Sandilands. Conspiracy theory: either someone's removed this song from YouTube or no one could be bothered putting it up.

2. Jacko: I'm an Individual
MELBOURNE'S singing footballer Russell Robertson sounds like Frank Sinatra compared to Jacko, who didn't let let a total inability to sing burden him. This 1985 hit is surely the only time the phrase ‘‘inda-bloody-vidual'' has been heard in a recording studio. Impressively the follow up, Me Brain Hurts, is even worse. To think that his manager at the time, Terry Blamey, would go on to steer the career of Kylie Minogue.
Click here to check out Jacko's I'm An Individual

3. Warwick Capper: I Only Take What's Mine
BLAME Jacko. A jealous Capper hit the studio after seeing I'm an Individual become a novelty hit. Capper busted out the tight shorts for the video but even they didn't help him hit the high notes in this diabolical song. Or any notes for that matter.
Here's Warwick, giving it his all for I Only Take What's Mine

4. Noeline Donaher: No Regrets
SOMEONE had the bright idea of using three of Noeline Donaher's 15 minutes of post-Sylvania Waters fame to record a cover of the classic. Except she couldn't sing and it sold by the thimbleful.
Noeline goes electric with No Regrets

5. Nikki Webster: Strawberry Kisses
POOR Nikki wanted to be a pop star after her Olympic glory. She was ahead of her time - with her nasal voice and tween-pop she was doing what Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus would take to the masses. Sadly Nikki just had an annoying, poxy pop song that sounded like something Britney rejected.
Check out Nikki's post-Olympic efforts

6. The Vaughans: Who Farted?
THIS novelty hit stinks in so many ways. The kind of record polluting second hand stores across the land.

7. Lee Harding: Wasabi
HE was the ‘punk' of Australian Idol who ditched his band for the TV show. It wasn't a good year for Idol - this was the season that inflicted Kate DeAraugo on us. Harding came third but somehow made No.1 with this teen-punk-by-numbers turkey that rhymed ‘‘tsunami' with ‘‘army''. He now resides in the where are they now? file. Along with DeAraugo.

8. Bruce Samazan: One of a Kind
FOR a few minutes everyone on TV show E Street tried putting a record out. This ended it all. His rap makes Britney's ex Kevin Federline sound like Jay-Z.

9. Stefan Dennis: Don't It Make You Feel Good
EVERYONE else from Neighbours was releasing records, so Stefan Dennis tried it too. Bouncer would have done a better job.

10. Skyhooks: Jukebox in Siberia
SKYHOOKS wrote some amazing singles. This isn't one of them. Their comeback was brief after this and the equally terrible Happy Hippy Hut. Not the way the band, or Shirley Strachan, should be remembered.

11. Dave and the Derros: Nice Legs, Shame About the Face
PUB rock novelty hit that was really all about the title. The follow up was Up Your Nose With a Rubber Hose.

12. The Whitlams: Chunky Chunky Air Guitar
SOMETIMES you can judge a book by the cover; this was left off the band's recent best of compilation so as to not contravene the Trade Practices Act.

13. Joe Dolce: Shaddap You Face
DEBATE rages over whether this - one of the most successful Australian songs ever - is pop genius or insanely annoying. Try listening to it ten times over.

14. Rus Le Roq: I Want To Be Like Marlon Brando
RUSSELL Crowe under an early alias; he'd later commit musical crimes as part of Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts.

15. John Farnham: Sadie the Cleaning Lady
COME on: even he hates it!

Top 10 stinky covers: they didn't write them, but they ruined them:
Collette: Ring My Bell
Craig McLachlan & Check 1,2: Mona
Teen Queens: Be My Baby
The Chantoozies: Witch Queen
Madison Avenue: Reminiscing
Freaked Out Flower Children: Spill the Wine
Jason Donovan: Sealed With a Kiss
Rolf Harris: Hand in My Pocket
Shannon Noll: C'mon Aussie C'mon
Ernie Sigley & Denise Drysdale: Hey Paula

Whats your worst Aussie song ever?

What Makes Australia Great: Aussie Inventions

Well before Federation in 1901, Australians had demonstrated how innovative they were. Thousands of years ago, Indigenous Australians developed tools like fish traps, boomerangs and woomeras to assist with hunting. They lived in harmony with nature using the native flora and fauna as a source of food and medicine.

When the European settlers arrived in this harsh, isolated land, they also had to be ingenious to survive and thrive. Early inventions included the windmill, the stump-jump plough, the stripper harvester, mechanical shears, ice-making machines and even lamingtons.

1901: Federation Wheat
William Farrer released the Federation wheat strain, resistant to fungal rust disease and drought.
1901: Flotation Method of Ore Separation
The method for separating ore from rock crushings, using bubbles to float the ore to the surface, was developed by Charles Potter and Guillaume Delprat of NSW.
1905: Thrust Bearing
Anthony Michell invented the tilt-pad thrust bearing, which reduced friction and increased power transmitted. The technology has been used in ship building around the world and also in pumps and turbines.
1906: Surf Lifesaving Reel
Designed by Lyster Ormsby, the reel was first demonstrated at Bondi Beach.
1906: Feature Film
The Story of the Kelly Gang was the world’s first feature length film.
1906: Kiwi Boot Polish
The boot polish that could restore the faded colour of brown shoes was first available for sale.
1909: Improved Sheep Shears
Aboriginal inventor, author and spokesperson, David Unaipon, patented an improved handpiece for sheep shears.
1913: Automatic Totalisator
Invented by George Julius, the tote automated betting at horse races.
1915: Aspro
While the German firm Bayer first produced aspirin, a Melbourne pharmacist George Nicholas and experimenter, Henry Woolf Smith produced a high-grade aspirin product, ‘Aspro’, that later took over the international market.
1918: Anthrax Vaccine
John McGarvie Smith donated his secret discovery of an anthrax vaccine to the NSW Government shortly before his death.
1922: Rotary Hoe
Cliff Howard, with help from his brother Albert built the first full-size rotary hoe cultivator. It uses energy to turn the soil directly, rather than dragging a plough behind a tractor.
1926: Heart Pacemaker
A doctor from the Crown Street Women’s Hospital in Sydney, who wished to remain anonymous, invented the original pacemaker in Australia.
1928: Royal Flying Doctor Service
Reverend John Flynn was the founder of the world’s first Aerial Medical Service, now known as the Royal Flying Doctor Service (RFDS). In May 1928, Dr St Vincent Welch made the first official RFDS visit.
1928: First Crossing of the Pacific
Sir Charles Kingsford Smith and his crew performed the world’s first air crossing of the Pacific Ocean.
1928: Speedo Swimwear
This swimwear originated in Sydney when the MacRae Knitting Mills manufactured the company’s first swimsuit, the razorback, made from silk and joined in the middle of the back. Speedo introduced the world’s first nylon swimsuit in 1957.
1929: Pedal Wireless
The pedal-operated generator, connected to a wireless, was invented by Alfred Traeger.
1930: Letter Sorting Machine
Sydney GPO was the site for the first mechanised letter sorter which was developed by an engineer with the Posmaster-General’s Department.
1933: Utility Vehicle
The ute, with a front like a car and rear like a truck was designed by Lewis Bandt at the Ford Motor Company in Geelong, Victoria.
1941: Penicillin production starts
Penicillin, extracted and refined by a team led by Howard Florey, was trialled successfully on humans, and went into production in time to aid casualties of World War II.
1945: Hills Hoist
This rotary clothesline with a winding mechanism allowing the frame to be raised and lowered was invented by Lance Hill of Adelaide in 1945.
1946: Shepherd Castors
George Shepherd invented strong, easily manoeuvrable dome-shaped castors for furniture. These replaced traditional pivoted wheel castors.
1947: Cloud Seeding
Scientists at CSIRO conducted the first successful cloud seeding experiments, making rain fall near Bathurst, NSW.
1950: School of the Air
The first ever radio lesson was broadcast using the transmitter at the Australian Royal Flying Doctor Base at Alice Springs.
1952: Victa Lawnmower
The Victa version of the petrol lawnmower with rotary blades was developed by Mervyn Victor Richardson, and became an Aussie icon.
1952: Atomic Absorption Spectrophotometer
Sir Alan Walsh of the CSIRO invented this instrument used for high speed chemical analysis of metallic elements.
1953: Solar Water Heater
The first prototype of a solar water heater was developed at CSIRO in Victoria.
1956: Redback Spider Antivenom
An antivenom for the bite of the redback spider developed by Dr Saul Weiner was released for use.
1957: Permanent Crease Trousers
The process of producing permanent creases in fabric was developed by Dr Arthur Farnworth of CSIRO by adding a special resin to wool fibres to change their chemical structure.
1957: A.E. Bishop Holdings Pty Ltd
This company was established by Dr Arthur Bishop, beginning his life’s work as an international leader in vehicle steering innovations.
1958: Black Box Flight Recorder
Dr David Warren in Melbourne invented the first black box flight memory recorder. The unit recorded the pilot’s voice and a few instrument readings.
1958: Round-the-World Airline Service
Qantas inaugurated a pioneering round-the-world airline service with two aircraft taking off from Melbourne.
1960: Plastic Spectacle Lenses
Scientific Optical Laboratories designed the world’s first plastic spectacle lenses which are 60% lighter than glass lenses.
1961: Ultrasound
George Kossoff and David Robinson built the first ultrasound scanner at the ultrasonics institute in the Commonwealth Department of Health.
1964: Latex Gloves
The Ansell company had made household gloves since 1925. In 1964 they introduced the disposable latex gloves for use in surgery.
1965: Inflatable Aircraft Escape Slide
Jack Grant of Qantas invented the inflatable aircraft escape slide which can also be used as a raft on water. These slides are now standard safety equipment on all major airlines.
1965: Wiltshire Staysharp Knife
The Wiltshire Staysharp knife was invented with a sheath which sharpens the knife each time it is withdrawn.
1965: Wine Cask
Thomas Angove introduced the wine cask.
1968: Polyvalent Snake Antivenom
A snake antivenom capable of acting against the poison from most Australian snakes was developed by CSIRO.
1969: Australia Shows the First Steps on the Moon
The radio telescope in Parkes, New South Wales, received and relayed to the world the first pictures of the first moon landing.
1970: Microsurgery Pioneered
Professor Earl Owen from Sydney pioneered microsurgery techniques by performing the first microsurgery operation when he rejoined an amputated index finger.
1972: Orbital Internal Combustion Engine
The orbital internal combustion engine was developed by engineer Ralph Sarich of Perth, Western Australia.
1972: Rowcar
Rotary Club members designed a small four-wheeled vehicle, with hand propulsion and steering, to give mobility to disabled and incapacitated children.
1973: Pop Top Can
Sir Ian McLennan of BHP came up with the idea of press-buttons where the button is hinged to the can and does not cause a litter problem.
1973: In-vitro Fertilisation
The world’s first pregnancy using IVF technology was reported from Monash Medical Centre.
1974: Super Sopper
Sydney inventor Gordon Withnall invented this device which soaks up water from wet sportsgrounds.
1974: PSZ
CSIRO developed partially stabilised zirconia; an extremely tough ceramic with a wide range of industrial applications.
1975: Interscan
An aircraft approach and landing guidance system using microwaves was successfully tested at Tullamarine Airport, Melbourne.
1976: Electronic Ignition System
A silicon-chip ignition system for small engines in lawnmowers and chainsaws was developed by the Notarus brothers in Sydney.
1978: Synroc
Professor Ted Ringwood led a team at the Australian National University to develop synthetic rock to contain high-level nuclear waste with safety.
1979: Bionic Ear
The cochlear implant, designed to help the hearing impaired and profoundly deaf, was invented by Professor Graeme Clark of the University of Melbourne.
1979: Race Cam
A lightweight, fixed camera used in car racing and other sports broadcasts was developed by Australian engineer, Geoff Healey.
1979: Cool Lightweight Wool Fabrics
The technique for spinning lightweight wool was invented at CSIRO.
1981: Bodyguard Power Protector
Gerard Industries developed a power point with an inbuilt electronic circuit that cuts the power if there is a power leakage and virtually eliminates the chance of electric shock.
1983: Footrot Vaccine
CSIRO produced a vaccine against footrot using genetic engineering techniques.
1983: Winged Keel
Australia II won the America’s Cup in part due to the revolutionary winged keel designed by Ben Lexcen.
1984: In-vitro Fertilisation
The first frozen embryo baby was born in Melbourne using a technique developed by Dr Alan Trounsen and Dr Linda Mohr.
1985: World’s Most Efficient Solar Cells
Dr Stuart Wenham and Professor Martin Green from the University of New South Wales produced the world’s first 20% efficient solar cell.
1985: Dynasphere Lightning Protection
A Tasmanian company, Global Lightning Technologies, developed the Dynasphere lightning terminal. The company exports its products to over 30 countries.
1985: Broncostat
The oral vaccine to prevent bronchitis, was developed by Professor Robert Clancy at the University of Newcastle. It reduces attacks of acute bronchitis by up to 90%.
1986: Gene Shears
The discovery of gene shears – molecules used to prevent harmful and unwanted genes in plants and animals – was made by CSIRO scientists, Dr Wayne Gerlach and Dr Jim Haseloff.
1987: Wave Piercing Catamaran
Ship builder Incat Australia Pty Ltd designed a low buoyancy bow which helps the catamaran pierce through waves, resulting in a faster and smoother journey.
1988: Plastic Banknotes
CSIRO and Note Printing Australia developed the world’s first polymer banknote made from tough flexible polypropylene plastics. These notes last longer and are more difficult to counterfeit than paper money.
1988: Biological Pesticides
The world’s first non-chemical biological pesticide was invented at the University of Adelaide.
1990: Reading Machine for the Blind
Milan Hudecek of Melbourne invented the world’s first reading machine for the blind.
1991: Plastic Rod Bone Repair
The technique of using plastic rods in place of metal pins and screws was developed by Dr Michael Ryan and Dr Stephen Ruff at Sydney’s North Shore Hospital.
1991: Biodegradable Marine Degreaser
The world’s first biodegradable marine degreaser, made from naturally-occurring marine oils, was developed by the CSIRO and Beku Environmental Products Ltd.
1992: Multi-focal Contact Lens
The world’s first multi-focal contact lenses were invented by optical research scientist, Stephen Newman of QLD.
1993: Underwater Computer
Bruce Macdonald at the Australian Institute of Marine Science developed the world’s first underwater computer with a multi-button hand-held keypad that mimics a conventional keyboard.
1994: Sportswool
CSIRO developed a new bi–layer fabric consisting of wool and polyester, ideal for sportswear because the fabric allows rapid dissipation of moisture.
1995: Calicivirus
CSIRO developed this rabbit–specific virus that resulted in the number of rabbits declining up to 8% in some areas of Australia.
1996: Australian in Space
Dr Andy Thomas completed his first mission in space aboard the NASA Space Shuttle Endeavour. In 1998 he spent 141 days aboard the Russian Mir Space Station.
1996: Relenza
The world’s first anti-influenza drug was developed by the Victorian College of Pharmacy, Monash University and Biota Holdings. In 2000, the drug was approved for release in Australia, Europe and the USA.
1998: Hybrid Toilet
A lightweight, fully–enclosed toilet system which requires no water and minimal maintenance was released for sale.
1998: Skin Polarprobe
Polartechnics Ltd, the Sydney Melanoma Unit and CSIRO developed the Solarscan™, a device to scan the skin and quickly assess sunspots to determine if they are melanomas.
1999: Night and Day Contact Lenses
The Cooperative Research Centre for Eye Research and Technology developed this contact lens made of revolutionary material capable of transmitting six times more oxygen to the eye, allowing extended wear for up to 30 days and nights.
2000: Biodegradable Packaging
The Cooperative Research Centre for International Food Manufacture and Packaging Science developed new biodegradable packaging materials based on starch.

What Aussies Like Blog

I have started another blog called "What Aussies Like" which discusses range of things that Australians Like. You can access it at I'm looking for people to help contribute and add articles to it. If this sounds like you then drop me a comment.

Top 5 Friday: Things to buy in Australia while on vacation

| 1 Comment(s)

  1. Ugg Boots
  2. Thongs
  3. Vegemite
  4. Tim Tams
  5. Meat Pie - obviously you can't take this home, but be sure to try one.

Please leave a comment with your suggestion for next Friday's Top 5 list. The best suggestion gets a link to their blog or website in the next Top 5 Friday list.

What Makes Australia Great - What do you reckon?

To celebrate Australia day on 26th January and I'm developing a list of things that make Australia great. This list is going to be on the blog on 26th January. Please leave a comment on our blog with your list or idea on what makes Australia great. I'm going to take all these comments and put it into one big list. It can be anything really. Everyday you'll see a new entry about my thoughts and ramblings about what I think makes Australia great. I understand that some of you are not Aussie but that shouldn't stop you from adding to this list.

What Makes Australia Great - The Castle

It may be pretentious of me to label The Castle the funniest Australian comedy ever made, but that’s probably not far from the truth.

This film comes from the Working Dog production company, who were responsible for the classic Aussie TV show Frontline as well as variety news and entertainment talkie The Panel. Working Dog star Rob Sitch directs The Castle with tasteful, silly and intelligent humour, complemented with a breezy and effortlessly energetic rythtem.

The Castle is a small guy versus the big guys film that has a sentimental emotional core, and many jokes are derived from the story of a charming family defending their home against a compulsory acquisition.

Performances from a talented Australia cast breathe life into a bunch of quirky but lovable characters. Michael Caton is especially great as the father of the family, Darryl Kerrigan, a lovable oaf with a heart of gold. Veteran actor Charles (Bud) Tingwell also appears as a wise lawyer who takes it upon himself to defend the Kerrigans.

The script was written by Santo Cilauro, Tom Gleisner, Jane Kennedy and Sitch - all regulars on TV’s The Panel. They have a sound sense of joke timing, and how to keep audiences interested. The Castle is a rare find; a funny, wonderful piece that shines in its own homely, honest way.

It is common in Australia to humorously quote lines from "The Castle". Some of the most popular of these are:
  • What do you call this? (in reference to obvious items)
  • Tell 'em they're dreaming!
  • A man's home is his castle.
  • It's not a house, it's a home.
  • Dale dug a hole.
  • That is going straight to the Pool Room.
  • How's the serenity? So much serenity!
  • It's what you do with it.
  • It's the vibe.
Director: Rob Sitch
Cast: Michael Caton, Anne Tenney, Stephen Curry, Sophie Lee, Anthony Simcoe, Charles (Bud) Tingwell, Wayne Hope, Tiriel Mora, Eric Bana