Music Monday: Australia Day Edition

Welcome to Music Monday

Here is the best Aussie Song ever: Down Under by Men At Work

According to the Herald Sun the worst songs are as follows

1. Tamara Jaber: Ooh Aah
THERE'S so much wrong with this record. Firstly the lyrics: Jaber, who was discovered in Popstars flop stars Scandal'us actually sings ‘‘Ooh aah, I lost my bra, I left it in my boyfriend's car'' and ‘‘Boys are rotten made outta cotton, girls are sexy made outta Pepsi''. Inspiring stuff. Then there was the nepotism factor. Jaber's song and big-budget video were paid for by boyfriend (now husband) Kyle Sandilands, who released it on his King Kyle record label. Why? Because no one else wanted it. Her album is still to surface and the only person who played this song on radio was - surprise surprise - Sandilands. Conspiracy theory: either someone's removed this song from YouTube or no one could be bothered putting it up.

2. Jacko: I'm an Individual
MELBOURNE'S singing footballer Russell Robertson sounds like Frank Sinatra compared to Jacko, who didn't let let a total inability to sing burden him. This 1985 hit is surely the only time the phrase ‘‘inda-bloody-vidual'' has been heard in a recording studio. Impressively the follow up, Me Brain Hurts, is even worse. To think that his manager at the time, Terry Blamey, would go on to steer the career of Kylie Minogue.
Click here to check out Jacko's I'm An Individual

3. Warwick Capper: I Only Take What's Mine
BLAME Jacko. A jealous Capper hit the studio after seeing I'm an Individual become a novelty hit. Capper busted out the tight shorts for the video but even they didn't help him hit the high notes in this diabolical song. Or any notes for that matter.
Here's Warwick, giving it his all for I Only Take What's Mine

4. Noeline Donaher: No Regrets
SOMEONE had the bright idea of using three of Noeline Donaher's 15 minutes of post-Sylvania Waters fame to record a cover of the classic. Except she couldn't sing and it sold by the thimbleful.
Noeline goes electric with No Regrets

5. Nikki Webster: Strawberry Kisses
POOR Nikki wanted to be a pop star after her Olympic glory. She was ahead of her time - with her nasal voice and tween-pop she was doing what Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus would take to the masses. Sadly Nikki just had an annoying, poxy pop song that sounded like something Britney rejected.
Check out Nikki's post-Olympic efforts

6. The Vaughans: Who Farted?
THIS novelty hit stinks in so many ways. The kind of record polluting second hand stores across the land.

7. Lee Harding: Wasabi
HE was the ‘punk' of Australian Idol who ditched his band for the TV show. It wasn't a good year for Idol - this was the season that inflicted Kate DeAraugo on us. Harding came third but somehow made No.1 with this teen-punk-by-numbers turkey that rhymed ‘‘tsunami' with ‘‘army''. He now resides in the where are they now? file. Along with DeAraugo.

8. Bruce Samazan: One of a Kind
FOR a few minutes everyone on TV show E Street tried putting a record out. This ended it all. His rap makes Britney's ex Kevin Federline sound like Jay-Z.

9. Stefan Dennis: Don't It Make You Feel Good
EVERYONE else from Neighbours was releasing records, so Stefan Dennis tried it too. Bouncer would have done a better job.

10. Skyhooks: Jukebox in Siberia
SKYHOOKS wrote some amazing singles. This isn't one of them. Their comeback was brief after this and the equally terrible Happy Hippy Hut. Not the way the band, or Shirley Strachan, should be remembered.

11. Dave and the Derros: Nice Legs, Shame About the Face
PUB rock novelty hit that was really all about the title. The follow up was Up Your Nose With a Rubber Hose.

12. The Whitlams: Chunky Chunky Air Guitar
SOMETIMES you can judge a book by the cover; this was left off the band's recent best of compilation so as to not contravene the Trade Practices Act.

13. Joe Dolce: Shaddap You Face
DEBATE rages over whether this - one of the most successful Australian songs ever - is pop genius or insanely annoying. Try listening to it ten times over.

14. Rus Le Roq: I Want To Be Like Marlon Brando
RUSSELL Crowe under an early alias; he'd later commit musical crimes as part of Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts.

15. John Farnham: Sadie the Cleaning Lady
COME on: even he hates it!

Top 10 stinky covers: they didn't write them, but they ruined them:
Collette: Ring My Bell
Craig McLachlan & Check 1,2: Mona
Teen Queens: Be My Baby
The Chantoozies: Witch Queen
Madison Avenue: Reminiscing
Freaked Out Flower Children: Spill the Wine
Jason Donovan: Sealed With a Kiss
Rolf Harris: Hand in My Pocket
Shannon Noll: C'mon Aussie C'mon
Ernie Sigley & Denise Drysdale: Hey Paula

Whats your worst Aussie song ever?

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